Rumple-Idiot Worship

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Blah.....Blah...Blah
How far
can you go?
How far can you take entertainment
or how far can entertainment take you?
Just as you think you're finished
you feel like you haven't even started yet!
The show must go on.....even if you're off!
I'll get on & off at the same time
Life is a continuous performance
& we're all actors on the stage of life
even when we're not acting!I'm going to give up my act
& escape from facts
& meditate away the days
until i'm on display again!
Oops!Should i just become one with all
& let creation unfold....before i turn into mold!Gorblimey!There's too many tales that should be told!I'm not hanging up my pixie-shoes until i'm through to the other side....& then i'll start again....with serious Zen!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

If i hurry up & get started.....i might actually start!Start me up & i'll never stop!Where's the start!I can't even find the finish!Maybe the end will roll into the beginning again!One Big Bang after another!There's parrallel Universes Out There!I'm going to get Out There & check it out!I'm leaving on the Astral plane in the 25th hour!There are dimensions within dimensions.....from 2D to 3D....from ABCD to E for Eternity!Beyond everything contained within the conventional spectrum of the 26 letters of the alphabet!I'm going to see....before i get captured by TV!See You laters!Oops!I'm back again!I don't know whether i'm coming or going because i'm everywhere at once!My nose is here....my eyes are over there......& everything in blending in & out of everything!I'm gonna put on my psychedelic specs & go snorkling in the Great Barrier Reef & merge into the explosion of colours.....in my dreams that is!I'm high on natural buzzes....please give me some more air!Thank God for the nose or otherwise who would know about oxygen!Jellyfish....don't have noses do they?An oxygen has eight sides doesn't it?Eight sides to eight....like the infinite eternal eight....that can't stop breathing?I'm not making any sense?Yes i am!I can smell for miles & miles & miles!Breathe in!Breathe OUt!Breathe in!There's no way out......when way out is in!Oops!Imagine having an elephant's nose!That's one Hell of a stonker of a breather!Oh no!I'm gonna sneeze!I'll save it for the Way Out Fever!I'm off like a hankie that's lost it's snot!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I'm still alive & nearly up to file 5!Gimme 5 man!There once was a man who lost his manhood......when walking through the woods alone one night!A nymph suddenly appeared & gave him a freaky fright which turned him into a woman....made of wood!
There are a few scary fairies out in the woods if you believe there are?Oops!Beware of hairy fairies.....as things can sometimes get hairy if you're too airy!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I remember being at a horrible boarding school once.....& one time i found this fruit-bat in the television room!Have i told this story?I can't remember now!Oh well......here it goes again............!I found this fruit-bat & took it up to the dorms.....& the thing straight away flew off & around above the partitioned walls of the dorms & set the whole school off!It's was total hysteria.....i thought the the noise was going to crack all the windows simultaneously.....& balst the roof off the school!I didn't get let off lightly when the school master figured it was me.He certainly gave me too many detentions all in a row & it felt like i spent all my time there doing washup!I had to washup the dishes 15 times a week....to hundreds of students!It was making me go completely batty!I should of been paid for all my labours worth!I guess i have done a few other jobs other than jesting.....but none of them ever paid!Oneday i'll pay myself so well......i'll have to get a King to feed me!A heiress would be more fun!Adios Amigos!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I've just about finished even though i haven't even started yet!Hot's for dommer!I sounds like you've got the hots for Donner!Have i got it right in Dutch?Crikey!
Maybe i should write to the Queen & she might give me a gig!Maybe i'll try all the Queen's of the World until one agrees?I'll do the full 360 degrees until one agrees!I'll be the jester in the court of higgledy-piggledy!I'll get the licence to fully fool the kingdom!It will eventually become contagious that i will go from kingdom to kingdom until the world Kingdom of every living thing unites!I'll unite the World.....but first i have to unite myself!I'll become knighted after many late nights...until the sun always shines...& then i'll be the first jester to have a go on the moon...& then i'll do all the flipping planets......until i get trapped in a Planetarium!I'm going.....but i'll return later!Laters!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

There once was a cheesy man
you wore the most loungecore
clothes in any land,
that your eyes
would go sore
if he would stand
close by!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

It's Mr Rumpity-Bumpity here on the bumpy ride of life again write now....trailing behind letters.....that form never-ending tales.....of the picture story book of books within books!I'm trapped in the book of life & there's no way out of the story!I'll just keep jumping back in...& out....until i'm fully full.....which will never be full for a fool!I'm fit!Ripe for the shelf even though i'm a silly little elf....that can't reach the shelf!I'll get up & reach for the stars & get out of being a down clown with the frown!Get Up!Get Down!Yeh!Up Up & Away!Giddy Up!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I spy with my little eyes something beginning with GooOse!I think the answer to everything is GoOose!Yes!GooOse is everything!P.S.GooOsE!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!I'll probably never even read any of these stories i write!I can't even remember any of my poems from year's back now!It's embarassing when people put me on the spot....& i just can't remember anything?Oh Well What the heck!My mind is blank!Should i walk the plank?Know my mind is fully "Fool?"
Perhaps i'll fully fool myself....& then i'll never fall off the rails that line the stories of life!I'm not making any sense am i?I spy with my little eyes......something beginning with end!My eyes are closed & my mind is open....so there's more to explore in the shores of the Divine....?

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Strewth Ruth!I saw this sheilah the other day....& she looked like a flamin' gallah!I asked her for some xxxx & she called me a flippin'"Poof!"I couldn't believe she was a man!I only found out when i stuck me hand under her dress.What do you reckon about that ya hooter of a rooter?I couldn't believe my eyes......she gave me a flaming red hot stonker!Gorblimey!I'm pissed mate!
Hello it's Rumpelstiltskin here!I didn't write this even though i did!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Jack be simple
Jack be quick
Jack jump over the asparagus stick!
snot moss buns
Snot moss buns
One that funny
Two that's runny
Humpty Dumpty
sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty
sat on his balls
All the King's guinea pigs
& all the King's jellyfish
couldn't put Mr Bumpy
together again!
God!That's the worst post i'll ever do!
I'll do more than a moat
full of moss!
I'm starting to grow moss on my back!

[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 12-24-2001).]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I don't think file 5 will ever appear?It's a little queer?Maybe i'll wait til it turns green.....or is this a joke.....to turn me into dream that i can wake up from?Oh well!Here goes another story!I'll just fish out one from the well & tell the sroty of Zingle The Fish!
There was a fish called Zingle
who would watch all the other fish
shwish round & around
This went on & on
until Zingle
was gone!
Poor Zingle
never got his wish!
He always remained
permanately single
even though
he was fooled by fame!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!There's no folders left!Maybe it's time to fold?I'll fold myself up in a castle in a parcel & send away the days....until i arrive back home sitting on a throne....whilst watching the gnomes....greet away pardons.....in the never-ending gardens!No....I'm a fool,not a King!I'd rather sing than have too many jewels!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Gorblimey!It's Xmas......just about!Is the World still here?Hey Father Xmas.......i want something for free for Xmas!Can you see me?Where are you?If you go here.....i'll go there & maybe we'll unite our go's until we show what's...?I've got to go...so....where's Mother Xmas?Perhaps there should be a hermaphrodite.....unisex....Mr & Mrs Father/Mother Xmas!Merry Xmas!
Whatever?

[Rumpelstiltskin]

OOps!I accidently created another file!I'm not off my dial am i?Anyway signing off Mr Rumpel Stiltskin with another !I'll be back after a while