Rumple-Idiot Worship

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh Get Yourself Together!
=========================
You're as mixed up
as scrambled eggs!
What's going on
in your head?
Have you been
hypnotized by a gooose?
I wished you would get
your head
together!
You're making me feel
untogether!??? ???

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh I Really Am A Mixed Up Puzzle?
==================================
I feel like a jig-saw puzzle
that hasn't been put together right!
I don't think i'll ever puzzle
myself out?
I'm a hard puzzle
to puzzle out!
I'm going to try to puzzle
myself out...
piece by piece
until i've completed
my whole personal puzzle?
I'll always be puzzled?
I don't think i'll ever
solve my puzzle?

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Gorblimey!Gorblimey!Gordy Gord!
Oh for Christ's sake!I lost another epic of an e-mail!When i fished it....so finished it.....i submitted it & then realised....it didn't work & back-spaced it....but it didn't come back!
Gordy Gord.....get a bauble & affix it with
a GooOse's bladder & thwack me in the rump
so it's as hard as a gourd!I'm off to find some fruit-tingles!P.S.GooOsE!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Go On Let's Have An Egg & Spoon Race
====================================
Let'shave an egg & spoon race
you ugly fat goblin
with the hairy face!
I bet you a gherkin
that i'll win!
Does a gherkin grab your fancy?
If so get up
or hiccup
& get ready to race
the egg & spoon race!

Q.What's green & holds up stage coaches?

A.Dick Gherkin!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh I Want A Gherkin Beer Right Now!
===================================
I haven't had a gherkin beer
for donkey's years!
I'll have one right now!
I don't know how?
I'll have one now
even if there's no gherkin beer!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I Always Arrive On The Dot!
===========================
I'm going to arrive on the dot
when i come to the next full stop!
In fact,i'll land on the dot!
I'll land on the dot or the spot
whether it be a freckle spot,beauty spot
or just a plain
silly little dot!
I'll even land on the last dot
of the dot-to-dots
so stop the clock
so i can arrive on all the dots
& spots on the dot!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh You're An Old Snail!
=======================
Oh you old snail
i bet you even hang
onto your fingernails!
You're so slow
i bet you even
watch plants grow!
You're a slow coach
..too slow to catch a cockroach!
I think you're ready
to hang up your boots
& shoot through!

[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 12-25-2001).]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh You're Really Getting Up My Nose!
====================================
You're getting up my nose!
Why don't you go & say"Hello",
to a goblin
or look for a gherkin
or wheel a wheelbarrow
from now until tomorrow
but please don't get up my nose!
I'd rather smell a rose!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh Come Come To The Fair
========================
Come Come
come to the fair
There will be a mixed bag
of goblins
pixies
fairies
& all sorts
of assorted goodies
Oh come come
come to the fair!
Be fair on yourself
& come to the fair
as an elf!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I Once Knew A Quaint Dunce
===========================
I once
knew a dunce
who could stand
on a slant
while eating quince

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Even Though We Haven't Started...I've Already
=============================================
Won!
====
Heads i win
Tails you lose
Tails you grin
Heads i choose
Heads i spin
Tails you moo!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh I've Had A Fool Life!Do You Think I Should Stop!==========================
============
My life has nearly come to a full stop!
I think i'm about to drop?
Bye bye goblins
bye bye pixies
bye bye fairies
I'm as good as poodle plop!
I'm a complete flop!
I've nearly squeezed my last drop!
Oh i feel sloppy
Oh i feel stroppy!
I'm going to miss those
opshops!
Bye bye......dot..dot...dot...dot
Is this fullstop
going to be a quick stop
or a long stop
& is it going to be a little dot
or a big spot?
I think this fullstop
is going to be a long shot!
Hurry up!Fool stop
before i lose the plot!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Do This For Fun!
================
Do you want some fun?
Well dress up as a nun
& then laugh
at a giraffe
with your bum!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

God!Does Anything Ever Seem Right?
===================================
I'm Mr Wrong
& you're Mr Right!
Right?
Wrong!
No right!
Yes wrong!
No wrong..
Yes right
No No
Yes Yes
Wrong wrong
Right Right
Wrong wrong
two wrongs
don't make a right
so i must be right!
You're wrong
& i'm right!
Gong!
We're both wrong!
No we're both right?
Ok you're right
& i'm left!
Toodleloo
Mr You!


[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 12-25-2001).]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh I Wished That Frog Would Stop Barking!
=========================================
"Bow wow!"
I wished your frog
would stop barking!
Frog's are meant to croak
not bark!
"Bow wow!"
There it goes again!
Turn it off!
It's driving me around the bend!
Don't give it to the dog
or otherwise the dog
may start croaking!