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Gosh!When's file 4 going to open up!I'll just do more until the bloody thing opens!There once was a weird bard.....who called himself Baron Bent-Nose!He once came across a Thespian transvestite called Madame Sesquipadelaphobia.....who feared the bard's long words......so she/he got his/her Punch puppet to give him a whack!That's why the bard came....to call himself Baron Bent-Nose!Am i making any sense?
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Another time i was in Fremantle was at the Fremantle Busker's Festival earlier this year!The first time i was in Freo my spring-shoe came flying off & landing in some business man's soup!This year.....in my first shoe....sorry show.....I was doing alright until half way through the show....& then i went to juggle my insect infested guitar!The blooming strap tangled up.....& went unko....so i miscued it & it snapped in 2!It was an expensive laugh!Then at the end of the show...for the finale....my fire-skipping rope got caught on the back of the spring-shoe & my costume anklet caught on fire.....& i was jumping around like a scolded kangaroo trying to make it go out!Crikey!I think i'm jinxed in that spot!If i do it in the same spot again....something weird is bound to happen....as i'm good at being on a hat-trick with things!Maybe.....i should stay away from main pitches.......or try my hand on the cricket pitch...& wave to all the crickets?Comment
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I've now franchised & there are a team of Rumpelstiltskin's writing at the same time!I've cloned myself & we're all going to rhyme ourselves with the same lines & do exactly everything in the same way....all the time!We'll take over ourselves....until there's not even me left!
Has anyone got any straw i can spin.....because i need to cash in some gold!Comment
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God!Look at file 3.....can you see...that all the messages are longer than file 4?Maybe it will all fall into place if i do more & more!Gorsh!How can i squeeze these stories together......so they can be read?Anyway i'm going to bed....& i'm going to pull over the sheets like story book pages....until i'm completely covered!"ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ZZZzzZzZZZZzzZzZzzZzZZzZZzzZZzZZ
zzZzZzzzZZzzZZZzzZZZzzZZzzZZzzZzz
ZZzzZzz"
(Rumple, use your return key. ---Jim)
[This message has been edited by Jim (edited 12-24-2001).]Comment
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Oops!I made a mistake!All the lines are still not right!Perhaps i should write between the lines?
Story: Mr Sesquipadelaphobia's enigma in the lunacy farm of infinite wards of crazy puzzles!Puzzles wandering through different thought patterns swim through the brains of enigmatic mind's.Questions marks spiral & spin through the waves of electro-magnetic radiation & pollute the air with the frequence of science & resonance!The science of the human mind is the existense for a psychiatrist's pilgrimage!Let the story begin!Let the story stop!Comment
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Gosh!I can't believe it took me a while to figure this out!Whilst on my travels in Europe.....i always wondered why....when ever i was asking for directions.....people who said"Go right!",always ended up being left!Sorry i mean the direction being left!After some time i would always think....that alot of people on the Continent would get the language of left & right mixed up....so sometimes i would take the gamble & just go in the opposite direction of what they said!I couldn't believe i was so daft....when i finally figured out that their left must be my right & my right must be there left!Do i make any sense?Gorblimey!I remember when i was in in Chefchauen(have i called the village right?)in Morroco & i spent quite some time checking out the snake charmers as i wanted to buy one!Some old chap said"Follow me",which i did for a while down twisty bendy paths until we got to some old clay.....dome hut....& he invited me in!I wasn't so keen as i remembered a story some other geezer told me.....of being lured into a hut by another snake-charmer who quickly spun him around.....& rolled the carpets down....over the entrance...so he couldn't remember which way he came in....& got his bucks by crikey!Such is life!
I did get done though.....when i first landed in Morocco!I was the last one off the ferry at midnight.....when it arrived in Morocco!I thought"Goodbye Christian Europe!Now i'm in Islamic reality!"I saw all the Arabic writing & all.Again i didn't have a guide book...& after getting through customes i was immediately approached by 2 blokes who flipping out some ID saying they were from the turist bureau!I thought they seemd a little dodgy so i wnet up to a policeman & asked for directions to a Youth Hostel.The same blokes came up & flipped out their ID to the policeman & he nodded his head to me....to verify that they were genuine.A taxi soon pulled up & i got in & before i knew it they were in with me....& said"Go!",& the taxi was off according to their directions!I thought"Where am i going?"The back-streets look a bit dodgy for a pipsqueak like me!Eventually the cab pulled up & the blokes said i have to go to the Hotel they were pointing at!I said"No....i'll go over to this one!"They demanded i go with them.....& i thought.....i don't know where i am?It's all pretty much of a muchness...& no other foreigner's were about so i thought"Oh well..ok!"The hotel reception said all the singles were taken so i had to pay for a double!The 2 guys followed me into my room....without anything i could do.They quickly shut the door......& pulled out the super zero zero zero.They rolled up a big spliff & said try some of this!I had just a couple of puffs to be sociable & then on the second round they demanded $250 U.S.I couldn't believe...it & i said"Gosh!That's an expensive puff!"This nasty geezer....with black fingernails & black leather vest & thick black beard & mustache....quickly stomped on my foot & pulled on my goatee & put out his hand & said"Welcome to Africa!"I thought"Thanks for the introduction!"Soon after the hotel manager came in as i raised my voice higher than it already was!The guys said everything was alright so the chap left & then they started on me again.....until the chap came back!They said"We're going now!Are you happy!"I said"I'm happy...are you!"They said"No we're not!", & the nasty geezer...threw me a big chunk of hash which was strange!I thought i'd better give them some money as i was a bit spun out!After thaey left...i didn't know what to do with the hash.....& thought it might be some sort of Midnight Express setup!I hid it well in the mattress....as the windows were locked!I did get some sleep after being really buggered!The next morning when i went to leave.....the nasty geezer....walked into me as i went to walk out!I quickly got by...& walked away....& he said"It's not safe around here!Let me be your guide!"I thought"Yeh right!",.....as he wanted more dirams(Moroccan money),& then head down to the main bus station!I bought a bus ticket to Casablanca & when boarding the bus....some more geezers wanting money from me....as their service....just to put my bag under the bus....but i wanted to take it with me...which i did.....but they were'nt pleased about it & had a bit of a go at me!I looked skint according by Western standards.....but it didn't work here!Tangier isn't the easiest place to arrive...& especially at midnight.....as they go for the prey on naive tourists!I guess i'm skint by Western standards but well off compared by other standards!The world's wealth just isn't evenly distributed!No wonder.....things like this happen when....some are more equal than others as far as making a living goes.....as the World's 360 richest people account for 2.4 billion of the World's poorest people!How can humanity overcome power?Comment
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Now all of my posts have come good!I'll now post myself as a Jestergram to the Universe.....& see how it replies?There once was a jester who turned himself into a King & then played the fool as well....so he could make & break all the rules in the Kingdom!Comment
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Hark!The frogs do bark!There used to be a frogmouth owl that dated a toadfish....& occasionally changes places....from toadstool to the lilypad!In the end they decided to make do with the 2 of themselves,until they were history due to....too many canetoads....getting in the road!Oops!Bark!Croaky!Crikey!Croak...croak...croak !I'm off like a frog falling off a log!Comment
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60 seconds!The clocks counting down......!Quick!Send in the clowns & stop the frowns!This is the World with no End!Off with the fairies!Comment
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Hot rats in burnt weenie sandwiches encounter with Uncle Meat who gilds them with lumpy gravy!God Damn....the weasle's ripped my flesh & it's Mother's Day with the apostraphe!Oh no....here come Billy the mountain holding hands with a Jewish princess with another 200 motels to go to!Frank Zappa & Arthur Brown get along just fine with each other in Tiny Tim's Crazy World Of Tulip eating ukuleles!
Beatles crawling through the traffic & across the Universe into Strawberry Fields Forever!Winding up strawberry alarm clocks...with Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds!Old brown shoe eating ultimate spinach in a Yellow submarine whilst doing rapberries with rocky racoons!Mean Mr Mustard drives my car with Elenor Rigby down a helter skelter & into Lovely Rita.evrybody's got something to hide except for me & my monkey & Mawell's silver hammer!Black birds fly into the skies with honeypies & a Taxman says to dear Prudence"Those pies were for the benefit of Mr Kite!"Hey Bungalow Bill i am the walrus but i'll be the sexy Sadie when i'm 65!Oops!64!
There's a landlady that's stealing a step-ladder from 7 Eleven.
When she gets there she knows if the boars & all still pig-nosed & with a jail-bird she can get what she came for!
There's Frankenstein on the wall but she wants to be sure because you know sometimes love-birds have a few over-weenings.On a frisbeee by the crook
there's some bean-curd that sings"Sometimes all of our astronauts are misgiven!"
The bagpiper will lead us through the season & an old day will dawn for those who stand in Hong Kong & the forest ill gheckos will writhe there after!
Wo...wo...wo....if there's a muscle on your elbow......don't be alarmed..now..it's just a spring-bean for the gay queen.
Jimmy wage leadbreak!
Your hair-display will lie on the crispering tin & in your case you won't know!
Yes!There are 2 footpaths you can go by.....but in the strong bun...there's still time to change the toad your on!When nun's are tall!Yeh to be a sock & not a troll!
Do i make any sense?
The magical mystery tour to cosmic musical enigma!I'm off key!Here's my key signature!Damn...where's the hash!No not that hash....the hash key!Am i in tune....or offbeat!How can i rhyme with time?Oh gosh!I'll just roll out some more tunes until everyone is tuned in!Just joking?My jokes are getting worse!Cheeers!See you on the other side!Bye!Comment
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I really have to go......but i can't go because here(hear)won't let me!I'm all dressed up with know-where to go more like it!Gorblimey!We live in a world of fashion & advertisements.....& a world of shops!It's amazing when you concider a bird's eye view of the never-ending metropolis below.....or even contemplate on a page of a street directory....& think"Crikey!I'm so skint.....i can't even afford a trillionth of a dot on this map!"Imagine if you added up the total cost of everything in the whole wide World?I wonder how much it would cost?Comment
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Wouldn't it be good if you could transport yourself in & out of different festivals...by hyper-spacing yourself....from festival to festival.....so you could do a 100 festivals all at once?Gorblimey!I'm gonna totally go nuts & do every festival possible on a shoe-string budget....until i'm completely showed out!Show!Show!Show!I'll be a culture vulture until i end up in Papau New Guinea...or Zimbabwe..completely lost in the jungle in my jester's outfit!Gorsh!Why not?Comment
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I was once riding my unicycle on the beach at Bondi in full jester's regalia....& i fell arse over head.....& sometime later i realised my tartan guitar had gone way out to sea!It was a miracle that the God's were on my side....& eventually the tide brought it back my way!It's amazing it didn't stink....sorry....i meant to say sink!I'm Off!Comment
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I once took a sip of asparagus ale
& then turned into a kitchen snail
I looked like Salvidor Dali
& my fingers went all gnarly
from reading too much Braille!Comment
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The Twirly ol' World Of Tunnels
Into the tunnel the leprechaun climbs
avoiding the time
while searching for rhymes
Sliding & twisting
in swirly ol squiggles
while singing silly madrigals
is what this little leprechaun
does.....to fill in
the t....ter...ter...time!Comment
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