Rumpel Weasel Worship Volume 2 & a half (or 3?)

[Rumpelstiltskin]

For crying out Joe Blogg's...that friggin' message came back...even through i couldn't give a 2 bob jackfruit hoot if it did or not!It could of gone completely astray in the Universe & no-one would give a flippin' hoot about it would they?I guess they say everything happens due to a reason & what happens...happens!If it happens....it was meant to be!What use is anyone out there going to get from the post 2 back?Oh well they it's online for everyone's digestion...Oops....i mean digression....to analyse!Come on ya friggin' arthritic armchair critic....hit me with some....fruit-tingles.....& i'll throw fruit-loops back at you!Crikey!I better go & play hide & seek while worshipping Simon Says.....who saids"Worship GooOse!"
P.S.We're all GooOse!
Gorblimey!I'm really hooked on this gOOose-trip....& i don't have any idea...why...by friggin'Crikey?

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Friggin' 9 left by jingle-balls!A GooOse has 9 lives!I have a figure 8 side-on life-style & there's more than more GooOseyness to crusade through before i'm through....as there is no through....it just keeps going on....as there's no way off!
Go...GooOse Go!Go...go..go...Gogo....Go...GooOse Go!Fly ya Friggin' GooOsemobile all over & across the dimensionless space of infinity!God=GooOse!GooOse=God!Everything is GooOse & GooOse is everything!We're all trapped in GooOse!We're all completely GooOsed-Up!Lets put all our gOOoseability into GooOseable Cosmos & be the most gooOse-like geese we can be!Total GooOsephasia in GooOse-fantsaia!Don't become gooOseless geese...as there's no such thing as gOOosephobia!Let's all be gooOseologists & find that Holy GooOse-Grail once & for all!P.S.Am i suffering from GooOseaphrenia?

[Rumpelstiltskin]

8 to go!Quick!Turn the 8 on it's side & let's all bride nonsense for as long as we can all remember!Many a moon to loon.....to tick away the time....like loco lunatics.....moon after moon with eternal moonshine!Pick up your fiddlesticks & light the eternal tick wick!Grab ya kit'n'caboodle....& tie it at on at the end of a stick!Let's bauble away....the days...with heads...like the end of our baubles.We'll laugh so loud....& babble away...& thwack away....our mirth....like balloon bladders on the end of geegaws!
Anyway i have to castle away.....the Universe....ontop of an airy sea-Unicorn-horse!Say-la-V!Yippy!8 & ? go together!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

7 to go & i still can't find the Stairway to Heaven!Everything that glitters is gold!Give me some straw for Christ's sake......so i can make some gold!Maybe i can buy my way into Heaven?Lordy Lord....just chuck me some gold....& i'll hold on to it forever!
Okay!Don't then as a jester lives rich to die poor....& besides you can't take gold with you when you die!
I'll just keep Rumpling away.....the days until i find Fool's Paradise by crikey!I'll find the Heaven for Fool's where the humour is healthy.....& an abundance of it....as i don't want to be in a serious Heaven.Too much religion isn't good for anyone.....so respect humour in the best possible taste & may the whole Universe get united through the folly of metaphysical laughter!God!It's all a joke within a joke!Maybe there is no punchline.....or perhaps if there is a God.....God is the Punchline!Crikey!I'm losing my gooOse-balls so i better go off & run away with the pixies in the pure spirit of funny happiness!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

6 to go!Crikey!Is anyone with me?Golly ol'goody-goody-gosh!I'm almost there.....wherever there is?Ooooh!I've got pins & needles in my foot!I'm going to post myself in the post until i'm all gooosed out there!I'll present myself to the World as a GooOse-a-gram with the most pure quintessence GooOse message to yodel out....straight from the GooOse God's mouth!
Oh!No!I had something very important to say.....but now....it's friggin'slipped from my mind!I can't zap it back....as it's lost now....probably coincidently....by some ethereal hay-wire frequency within the uncanny caverns of a gOoOse's mind!Hopefully it will come back in post 5...so give me five & i'll get into GooOse-overdrive & try & nosedive it back a.s.a.p fooly alive on the next bend!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

5 to go!Yes!I've got just 5 to go!Oh!I'm ready to fully thrive!Get a box of noses ready for me & i'll nosedive into it & find the right nose for me by fluke!
I know that pie is in the sky somewhere & i'm going to find it even if it takes me 5 million friggin' life-times....i'll find!Maybe the grail....is an oyster....so open up the pearly gates.....& zap me into Kingdom Come!"God!If you are real...you're one Hell of an ad!Crikey!Why don't you add up right?I can't work you out!"
What's the bottom line......of of all this lock,stock & barrel!There's a zillions of barrels of monkeys out there.....so give me the monkey's nuts rights now as i'm fooly caving into gooOse-Introverted Overdrive!
P.S.The answer to all of this is in the next post.....4 you all!Toodleloo!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

4 to go!Do you want any more?
Yes?No?Yes?No?Yes?No?
More!More!More!
Okay!Here i Go:
Are you ready?
Okay!
Get ready!
Here i go!
Go Wild at the count of 3!
Go Completely Wild at the Count of 3!
Go Fucken' Crazy at the Count of 3!
Here i go!
Are you ready?
Come on!I can't hear you!
Are you ready?
Come on you can do better than that!
Come on everybody....together!
Come on!I'm going to rock the shop....
so hurry up & friggin' get ready.....
Okay for the one last time....Are you ready?
For Christ's sake!Okay!Frig it!
I'll tell you the answer to absolute everything in the next post for free....at the count of 3....so let yourselves be...until next time....at the count of 3!Cheeers!:

[Rumpelstiltskin]

3 to go!Do you agree with me?
Okay at the count of 3
i want you all to go completely Ape
for Christ's sake!
Get ready
Get steady
because i'm as ready
as ready can be!
I'm as ready as ready
set jelly go!
Okay everyone....i want you all to do this
with me...at the count of 3~!
If you want to find out the joke....
you have to follow me.....
until it makes sense!
OKay!Here i go: 1!
Come on have some fun!
1!
Good!
2......
What are you doing?
Come on....i'll start again....
now get into it by crikey!
1!
Bravo!Now 2!........"GooOse!"
Well done!I can't believe it!Can you?
Okay!3!
Godblimey!No-one's with me!
Okay 3!
Come on!
Are you off ya tree?
Here i go again....3!
I plea
you to agree
with me!
Okay!Bugger it!Find out the answer in the next one....if you're too serious for this one!Toodleloo...& see what number 2 has to say!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

2 left!Yes!Just 2 left.....but this one will be so long that i will never finish it so you'll never see the next one.....as 1 will never get rid of 2!Oh!Friggin' crikey!I've got 2 minutes left on the clock so i better just tell you 2 in 1....or 1 in 2?Oops!Have a look....in just one more post & i'll tell you the answer to everything?This is the answer!This is the big build up.....i've been meaning to get to.....from the start.....from post 1!Here comes the punchline anwer you've all be waiting for!I promise you....it's the answer!It has to be!
Toodleloo!


[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 01-07-2002).]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!Don't include this one....as it was a mistake!I accidently touched the wrong button!Oops!Find out the Answer in the Nose(Knows)section!This is the Holy Answer....& nothing but the truth!I'm promise!

P.S.This really will be the 1000th post as i lost 73 posts quite some time ago!Anyway....enjoy the answer you've all been waiting for......in the Nose(Knows)section....you nosey parkers!

[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 01-07-2002).]

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Well done, Rump.

Not only the 1000 posts, but the glimmers of oddball genius within.

"An unemployed Jester is nobody's fool"
was one of my favorites.

Now off to your whisperfish winter weaselsqueezing, you oddly loveable dancing sproinging lollypop hunting pixie
champ.

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!Mr Higgledy-Piggledy himself here sending greetings out into the Universe....by jolly ol'jingles!
I was in Bruxelles yesterday....far out brussel sprouts.I went to the internet cafe at midnight....but the bugger was closed even though it was supposed to be open 24hrs~!Lucky my friend let me back in!
I just realised that i should do another 100 posts as i have alot of posts just with smiley faces & stuff like that.....so what the heck......i'm going to annoy the Christ out of everyone & do the fool 100 more!Just joking?
Oops!My time is running out so cheeers & crikey...whatever?Cheeers for the compliments Taxi Trixs & everyone else!Anyway i better dash as i'm half asleep & i have 39 seconds left on the clock!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Nostrilstiltskin here signing off with a Sneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!Aitchoooooooo!Arhhhchooo! P.S.Where's the aitch?

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Nasalstiltskin ear....signing off like an ear....that needs to pop....& a nose that needs to run!Ooops!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

There is an insect that can smell from 11 miles away!Gosh!