Rumpel Weasel Worship Volume 2 & a half (or 3?)

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I was on holidays with my mum & her French husband when i was about 13...in my mum's car fast asleep & then i awoke as the wheel come rolling off as she came around some corner.....& then stacked the car inbetween 2 narrow trees!The car got wedged side on between the 2 narrow...& the back window came flying over my head.It was freaky...but nobody got hurt so it was a relief!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I was at a confest(Down-To-Earth)festival in in Victoria in Oz when i was 16 & stayed til the very end...& a few days after aswell.It was getting really hard to get out of there by that stage...but i eventually managed to get a ride & where i wanted to go to aswell...the Pigeon House Mountains in Ulladula...to an Aboriginal Dreaming Camp Gathering.Some other chap tagged along with me...to get a rife out of there aswell.We got a lift in some 4 wheel drive...& after about 10 minutes of leaving the festival....i fell asleep...but soon woke up as i saw the car..driving across the road & towards the rock face of the mountain!I yelled & the driver quickly came to his senses as he was on the nod....& swerved the car....just in the nick of time...& the car went spinning around & around....with dust going everywhere...that we could of choked!Everything turned out alright & his car didn't even get 1 scratch.The guy in the back also woke up to this(as i did & also the driver)...but was a bit flipped out to continue on with us....so the driver drove him back to the festival site!I got a lift all the way to the Aboriginal DReaming Camp...so i was happy.Also when leaving the dreaming camp...it was a bit of an adenture as all the roads were sludgy due to heavy rain....& they were also way out in the bush!I remember being in some Japenese guys's station wagon....& at time the car would slide down the hill....& there wa almost no control sometimes as it was too slippery for the wheels to pick up traction.Gosh!That really gave me the butterflies,but we made it through by crikey!:

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh gosh!I used to go to a horrible boarding school for 1 year....& i remember it used to drive me crazy trying to make my hair look neat.I would stand in front of the mirror trying to get my hair right....but it just wouldn't go right.It was like i had a little fountain of hair on top of my head spiralling in all different directions....so it was a weird part i had.I had much more cowlicks than all the other kids!Most had just one but i had a whole cluster of the buggers to deal with!I'm not so meticulous now about my cowlicks as i was back then!Crikey!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I better get a wiggle-on as i have another 40 buggers to go & then i can call it a day!
Pronto!I better get on my pixy-cycle & get on with it like shit through a gooOse....so here i go:
What about those times.....when someone is waiting for you....& then you can't turn up....as you've missed the last bus or something....& then there is no way to even communicate...as they forgot to take their mobile phone with them!The World's full of little things like this....reminding us that Life's a bumpy ride!

[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 01-06-2002).]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oops 40 to go now!Are you still with me?Hold your horses as i've got til the end of eternity to get through yet by crikey!
Gosh!Has anyone ever nearly been busted for jaywalking?I came....so close...but got off by a gooose-berry whisker!
Oh!Oops!I'll tell you another story:
I was in Lismore in Nth East Coast of Oz...many a year's back & there was about 10 of us in a station wagon...ready to go to a party & as we took off...by only a few metres...a police car quickly stopped us!@ policeman got out & told us off as there were too many people in the car!For some very weird reason i was the only one that got busted for not wearing a seat-belt & i was situated in the middle of the car.I guess i got done...as the other people quickly got out as the police car pulled up!
Sometimes i can't believe my luck?Sometimes i either have really crap luck...or really good luck!Oh well!THe Show Must Go On....so i may as well leave my GooOse-suit on!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!Many year's back...i was with many friends as we were ready to go to the Birwood Mill Medieval Festival in Adelaide....& we managed to get a lift with my friend John in his tiny little mousey grey Fiat car.No joke!We managed to fit in about 10 people in John's tiny little mouse of a car.It was completely claustraphobic.....but well worth the fun.There were even a couple of people on the roof.We made the 20 kms drive which was funny by crikey & had a fab time at the Medieval Fair!There was even a tipi there.
It was fun to gOOose-about buy jingles!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I remember another time....being in John's tiny little Fiat & we suddenly pulled up at the lights....& so did a huge,mammoth,humungous truck!We turned our heads at the same time as the truck driver did to us & suddenly John & i were in absolute hysterics because the contrast was just so ridiculous!We were in this tiny little mousey grey go-go mobile...which even had it's front bumper-bars held on with elastic bands.....& we felt so tiny next to that enormous monster of a thing!It was real street-theatre & everso goofy!The expression on the truck-drivers face even made us laugh more....as he just couldn't see the humour in it!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!We had some wild times in this little mousey grey Fiat!John Haw was such a top bloke!Everyone enjoyed his company.....even though he was a nomadic loner.He was twice my age....but we were really good friend's as we had similar nomadic stories to tell...& were both fool's.He drove his mousey grey Fiat all over the place & even lived in it!He was a real minimalist & had tiny gadgets that he would make & that!He had driven that little Fiat from Sydney to Perth...just a 2 cylinder car!He was also a bush mechanic & used to live on an Aboriginal community in the Outback in Mintipi....where he had a rough make-shift shed for a house & also a weather-beaten tipi.I never actually went there myself.
John never lived in a domesticated situation & was a real out there character....with real good human nature.He didn't look weird at all...quite normal looking...but was more bizarre than so many domesticated people.
Oneday he had this dream of an ant's antennae & came up with the idea of the World's first flexible spring switch...while he was living in a tin shed.He didn't have an academic background....but still had a clever insight to electronics & lots of other things.He wrote volumes & volumes of information on his flexible spring switch idea....& said it was quite a process to try & get it patented.He even got one of the head managers of the ANZ Bank to invest some shares on his idea as....it was looking good...to being a real seller...as it could be used in many forms of technology.
John said he would hire me as the company jester & could make a funny show when we were at trade fairs.
John with 3 other Aboriginals once risked their lives to save some sacred Aboriginal land from some big mining company....& in the end won!This flexible spring thing was looking like it might go somewhere....but John wanted to put the money he made into help create intelligent technology for the benefit of the environment!
Later on in time i was in Europe for a few years thinking that when i get back to Oz...it would be good to tell John all about my adventures...as i hadn't heard from him for a while.I was at the World Rainbow GAthering in Australia in 2000.....& late one night when i was sitting around a camp....one of JOhn's friend's coincidently figured out that i was Rumpelstiltkin...& said that John had passed away.He said that John offered to give a Koori guy a lift home late one night around the hills of Mount Magnificent....& suddenly a car came over some slope & hit his greay Fiat head-on & JOhn died.The Koori guy was totally alright & didn't get hurt.The driver that hit the Fiat was really pissed!John's Fiat was eventually pulled away by a tow-truck(& he was still in it as they couldn't get him out as the steering wheel had squahed him in!).I forget the name of the chap who told me of John's fate....but he also said that John looked like a prince in a coffin..when he saw him before the funeral.
I was really touched by this....as John was such a sound character....& such a good soul mate!He was always so supportive & good-natured with most people.He always wanted me to get my poetry published....but still i haven't got around to it!He was ready to help me on it...as he used to sometimes work with publishing!He was a real dime a dozen & had a great sense of humour...even though he wasn't interested in being a comedian.It's a shame he's not still with us....but that's the way life is!Make the most of it while you can!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Before i was born....a little grey & white cat(with a touch of black)arrived on my parents lawn in Sydeny...& invited her self into the family.I was born a few years later.The cat was named Casper....& lived with us....until i was was about 16 i think it was?She was very much admired by us all....& it really felt like a part of the family was gone...when she passed away.She passed away in private!She was such a cuddley wonderful cat...good ol' Casper the friendly cat!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Once someone put a little hand-written card in my hat which i discovered after the show....& it said:
The jester is a masked sage who narrates truths from behind his disguise.Those truths told amongst laughter penetrate the darkest corners of your soul.

Crikey!It's interesting what get's put in your hat sometimes!Sometimes you never know what you'll get!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

These are some of the things that i have found in my hat over the years:
crumbs,gambling chips,condoms,cigarettes,matches,orange-peel,bark,rocks,safety pins,elastic bands,used phone-cards,monopoly money,used chewing gum,thimbles,band-aids,fingernails,sawdust,snow,hotdog,egg,sauce,sna il shells,toothbrush,vegetables,twigs,chips,feathers, flowers,leaves,jigsaw pieces,tissue paper,slags,buttons,toys,rotten fruit,false noses,fluff,coco pops,lollies,lego,cheese,shells,used tickets,phone numbers,bread,water,muesli,pegs,snot,balloons,ice, squashed beer cans,bottle tops,squashed cake,glass,string,cigarette lighters,nasal inhaler,sugar-cubes,lollipops,broken sandwiches,bells,little drawings,poems,straws,pens,pencils,ping-pong balls,dirt,dockets,fake tattoos,tick-tacks,stcky-tape,rubix-cube,shuttlecock,hair-rollers,a pair of underpants,badges,crystals,ear-bud cleaners,hankies,fake poo,photos,fisherman's friend's,fudge,dog piss,candy wrappers,smarties,m & m's,lifesavers,jelly,gherkins,toy soldiers & even pigeon shit...to name a few!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Friggin'GooOse!33 to go & then it's curtains....or maybe i'll just break on through to the other side?Gorblimey!This place is loud...this internet cafe!I can hear a sea of keys being being rattled away non-stop!It's a bit of a drag....people who sit next to you & make weird noises.Some chap a couple of days ago....kept sticking his leg under the bench & kept tapping my foot!The further my foot went back...the further he put his foot forward!What a weirdo!Why do they play such bad music at these darn internet cafes.No wonder there's alot of people starving out there when so much money get's spent on producing complete utter crap!Oh gosh!It's too depressing if you try to analyse it too much!It makes me feel sane when i hear such garbage!I just don't get it!Wouldn't it be a much better World if things with soul were better promoted than just things that sell with no soul at all!How can that crap make so much money?I guess it really is the sickness of society!Oh well!You can't change the World....so each to their own!Crikey!They say...one generalisation doesn't make up the mind of the whole population!Toodleloo!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I think i have to duck out & look for a gOose....so i'll post ya some goose-bumps..or whatever...before i return!

Once there was a little man
who walked about town
with moth-eaten clothes
& pigeon-nibbled toes
& hair full of bran.
Oneday he sat on a snail
& turned into a fish...
& was then put on sale
which he didn't wish!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Rhubarbweazelskint here againy & againy wishing all well with everything!I'm going to goof off a bit more like a goody-goody will-o-the-wisp here.Oh gosh!I'm up against the King's English!Is it possible to speak English better than the English?I guess Ozzies speak lazy english!Instead of saying"Good day sir!"....an Ozzy will go"G'day mate!"Leave out a few o's & you'll be right mate!I don't really like to be referred to as an Ozzy!I'd prefer to be referred as a Kangaroo Jester or a Worldly Trickster!
Oh gosh!I better hit the frog & toad soon as this will cost the Earth & i'm just a no-frills silly pixy so 'Toodleloo!'

[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 01-06-2002).]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Rack-Off hairy legs!Bingo!I hit the jackpot!Bob's your uncle!Struth!What on Earth have i won?A friggin'tutu....you've got to be joking?As if that will make me as happy as Larry!If i put it on.....it might give me a laughing fit until i die laughing?I'll do the knock-kneed pigeon weasel dance & fuck a duck round the clock!I wonder what every Tom,Dick & Harry would like doing their thing in this electric pink tutu?