JOKES

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

St. Peter and God were playing golf.
St Peter teed off first and hit a beautiful drive straight down the centre of the fairway. Then it was God's turn, but he hit a terrible drive which was heading towards the deep rough until, from nowhere, a squirrel caught his ball and dropped it in the middle of the fairway. Then amazingly a bird swooped down, picked up God's ball, flew towards the green and dropped it in the hole for a hole in one.
St. Peter turned to God and said: "Are we gonna play golf or are we gonna piss about?"

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

Not only is there no God,
but try getting a plumber at weekends.

(Woody Allen)

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

What is the biggest problem for an athiest? -
No one to talk to during orgasm.

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

What's black, white and red and swings from the ceiling ? -

A nun on a meat hook.

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

A Sunday school teacher asked her young class:
"Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One boy answered: "Because people are sleeping."

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

God was talking to one of his angels. He said;
"I've just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth."
The angel said: "What are you going to do now ?"
And God replied: "I think Ill call it a day."

Goodnight,
Godbless
Goodriddence.

[Butterfly Man]

What did one Palastinian woman say to another?

Does this bomb make my ass look big?

[gazzo osborne]

i don't get it Robert
LDR

[Peter Voice]

Gazzo, you haven't been getting it for years now. Maybe it's a personal hygiene thing.

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

ouch !......and may we thank the lord for humour.

Now now Gazzo.

[Butterfly Man]

Ray Jason is old and tired of doing the streets in Key West. Realizing his glory days are over, he decides to head out to sea on his boat for the last time.

Before he leaves though, he decides he better visit a brothel as he will probably never see a woman again before he dies.

He finds a willing partner though she only has one eye and is paralyzed from the waist down.

Soon he is going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, Ray asks, "How am I doing hon?"

The old, retarded slut replies, "Well Ray, you're doing about three knots."

"Three knots?" Ray asks, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Well, the obese, pockmarked hag replies, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're fuckin’ knot getting your money back!"

[ALAKAZAM]

This dude walks into a bar,see's a pretty bird straight away.After they meet eyes a few times he decides to go over and say hello.
She seems to be interested so he continues."what's your name love"
"Carmen" she says.
"that's a very nice name you must have cool parents"
To which she says "no I actually named myself that when i turned 16"
"why carmen"he says.
With a flirting look she says "because i like cars and i like men,so what's your name"

"beerfuck". [img]cool.gif[/img]

[Butterfly Man]

A street performer is someone who always has change for a five.

A street performer is someone who’ll crash at your house even though it stinks of shit, and your couch smells like Nick’s urine.

A street performer is someone who will fuck you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of assholes, as long as you’re paying the bar tab.

A street performer is someone who’s ego is always heavier than their props.

A street performer is someone who accepts no fuckin’ responsibility for anything. (just like Americans)

A street performer is someone who pretends to like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs, so they can have your spot.

A street performer is someone who’s favorite food is beer and favorite pastime is counting 5’s.

A street performer is NOT someone who sends you chain letters unless they want to steal your material.

Now send this to everyone you know (or you'll end up like Gazzo!)

[gazzo osborne]

now now Robert,

[Triona]

[quote]Originally posted by Butterfly Man:
<strong>Now send this to everyone you know (or you'll end up like Gazzo!)</strong><hr></blockquote>

Old, bitter, with a crappy act? Hey, it's just what I've been told... <img src="graemlins/haha.gif" border="0" alt="[ha ha]" />

[ 07-25-2002: Message edited by: Triona ]</p>