JOKES

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Gosh!Life is a show in itself......but ya have to do a show within a show to get a fair crust together to get over the next hill!Maybe i should try and get over a few hills and coincidently arrive at whatever castle will take me-!I can't get the frigggin' Question MArk....on this wretched keyboard....or get lot's of other frigggin things i'm trying to get!I will in time hit the medieval circuit....for some fun....as i'd really blend into the theme....quicker than a duck could quack!!!I guess that's where other jester's hang out.It sometimes seems like Europe has had enough of the Old World....and wants the new stuff.Golly gosh...it's heading in the direction of the United States Of Europe.....so perhaps i'll have to get some of Europe in America and do the Renaissance Fairs circuit!Just joking!I will do the Ren Fair circuit sometime whenever.
I did the San Marino Medieval Festival a few years ago.San Marino is a little country within Italy and is the oldest Republic in the World!
Anyway cheeers for now by crikey!Signing Off Screaming Lord Pip Squeak!!! <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I apologize Alakazam for taking the mickey.....& was a bit cheeky....but when i saw your name coincidently come up....after my first post on Performers Net for the day....in Maribor(Slovenia)...i was in a silly mood....when i saw the caption "bending over backwards"....to your name.....& thought i'd be an impish critter...& joke around a bit with it....as it's a once in a blue moon...off-the-cuff chance to coincidently write posts other than yourself on Performers Net...& that caption had it coming!Regards Crumbleforeskin!Just joking!Cheeers!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

"THE UNIVERSE IS A J <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" /> KE!" [img]confused.gif[/img]

[gweedo]

Hello, my name is Butterfly Man. I am suffering from rare and deadly Master Lee disease and have always received poor scores on I Bashi I exams. I have survived life with extreme virginity and an irrational fear of being kidnapped by The Calypso Tumblers and executed by anal electrocution.

Years ago, I forgot to respond to a chain letter sent to me by Alakazam that mentioned a poor fucking Canadian rope walker fell and needed money to have a breast on his forehead removed before he sold out and had a checkerboard tattooed to his ass.

At the time, I felt he was just being foolish. “Ooooh, looky here, everyone ... watch me climb up a pole with a rubber shirt and a spiked beanie and I'll get laid by every null and void nubile on the planet! Just pass on this chain letter and you too can have a generic fucking bullshit act.”

Well, basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to Al and every other crap juggler out there. I don’t give a rat’s ass if the evil chain letter Lee Ross leprechauns sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing some inane chain started by Dave Sheridan in 5 A.D. and brought to New Zealand by midget pigmies riding on Zip and Zap’s back and will soon be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

Fuck you all!

If you're going to send me something, at least send me something mildly fucking amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being’ shit about a thousand times. I really don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out that garbage. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity and you’ll end up like Gazzo.

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no e-mail and probably not as many sad sack pricks like Nick & Martin around back then with nothing better to do than write about some shit Brit music festival in the middle of fucking nowhere.

So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people in the
next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

Story #1: Peter Voice was drawing on the ground one day. He had recently received this letter from a kilt wearing tattooed juggler and chose to ignore it. He then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into a sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of shit, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did he end up smelling bad, he also died.

or

Story #2: Gazzo, already a stupid, ignorant sleight-of-hand artist, got this chain letter and chose to ignore it. Later that day, he had a stroke on Venice Beach and his boyfriend was hit by a car trying to take him to the hospital. They both died and went to hell. No one noticed.


The point being? If you get some chain letter from Al that's threatening to leave you a luckless and talentless juggler for the rest of your life, delete it. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a loser leper springy footed fool in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you’ll end up like me (but without the goat).


Now forward this to everyone that you know or tomorrow morning your penis will turn black!

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

Hoofuckinrah !
Back to some humour at last !
Hilarious, cheered me up .
Its always great to get a Sunday off to a good start I feel .
Somebody send me loads of chain mail so's I can rot good and proper in hell.

Ooops - got to go, am late for church.

[Peter Voice]

If that's the Gweedo whose regular pitch used to be behind the sex shop beside Beaver Park in Edmonton (true, it's beside the Radisson Hotel), I want my money back! It's been 9 years and he can still walk around. The deal was both legs.

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

QUOTE:
"Now forward this to everyone that you know or tomorrow morning your penis will turn black!"

So does this mean Lucky's well ahead of the game then?
Will it turn white I wonder?

Calling outerspace....
oooh oooh oooh der der dum dee dum ...(x files-type music)
........fade out.....

[gazzo osborne]

NOW NOW robert

[Peter Voice]

WHEN, WHEN, Gazzo?

My computer must be broke, it's been 24 hours and nothing happened. Can you post it again, Gweedo.


Time flies like the wind,
but fruit flies prefer bananas.

[ 07-16-2002: Message edited by: Peter Voice ]</p>

[ALAKAZAM]

Who the hell is gweedo ,i looked at his website and i don't ever remember meeting him nor sending him a letter by email,i delete those stupid chain messages myself.
Hey dude,got anything positive to say about street theatre, without talking about yourself.
HUGS AND FUCKIN KISSES
AL [img]cool.gif[/img]

[gazzo osborne]

Now NOW AL

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

now NOWall three of you !

boys will be boys ..............

[nick nickolas]

............................JOKES NOT JOKERS..........................

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

Oooops! The Nick has spoken.
Come on Nick - tell us a joke, cheer us all up.
Make it yer best one - none of this half-hearted crap.
I'm rackin me brains, got obvious jokes - blaaaah !
Come on boyo...........?

[DEBBIE ROBINSON]

Being a Sunday..............let us pray.......!

A wife insisted that her husband accompany her to church every Sunday. But for him it was an ordeal and he always had difficulty staying awake. She was aware of this and so one week she
took a along a hat pin with which to poke him every time he
fell asleep.
Five minutes into the service, just as the husband was dozing off, the preacher asked " Who created the Universe?"
The wife poked her husband with the hat pin and he yelled loudly
'My God !"
A few minutes later, the husbands eyes were shutting again
just as the preacher asked " And who died on the cross for you?"
The wife gave a sharp poke with the hat pin and the husband shouted "Jesus Christ !"
Shortly afterwards the husband was asleep once more.
The wife poked him with the hat pin just as the preacher asked
" And what did Eve say to Adam the second time she was pregnant ?" The husband woke with a start, jumped to his feet and yelled
"By God, if you poke me with that thing one more time I'm gonna break it off !"