JOKES

[em]

Or let a red hot poker stoke the fire

[Butterfly Man]

In Halifax, Kim Henrickson calls a meeting of all the Canadian street festival organizers. It is the first time she has actually acknowledged that the other festivals exist. It is such an milestone event that even Finkellini flies in from Thailand just to lend a dignified air to the proceedings.

Everyone is amazed to be met at the airport on time and taken by limo to their individual suites at the waterfront Hilton.

After they all check into their individual suites, Kim shows up and has everyone board a magnificent horse driven coach hired to take them on a tour of all the her designated pitch sites.

As they are passing Historic Properties one of the horses lets fly with the most horrendous, earth-rending, eye-smarting blast of gastronomic flatulence ever heard. It is so powerful it even shakes the coach.

Uncomfortable, but under control, everyone does their best to ignore the whole incident, but then Kim decides the silence is just too much.

She turns to everyone and explains, "Please accept my regrets ... I'm sure you understand that there are some things that even I cannot control."

Finkel, ever the gentleman, turns to her and replies, "Kim, please don't give the matter another thought ... Actually, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it was one of the horses."

[ALAKAZAM]

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[ALAKAZAM]

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[ALAKAZAM]

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[ALAKAZAM]

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[ALAKAZAM]

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[gazzo osborne]

Robert Sue Nelson walks out of an elavator and says this room rocks!

[LUCKY DIAMOND RICH]

Gazzo,
I do not get it!


LDR

[ALAKAZAM]

Heres a joke,Rumple gets over his bitterness and hatred for street performers who actually make money.
go shake hands with Mr happy Rumple.
AL [img]cool.gif[/img]

[gazzo osborne]

LDR you'll get it when bike boy get's hold of you

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I must admit....that there isn't much money in
originality on the street.There are hardly any wacky
acts on the street that actually do earn a worthy
thripence!
I really do find it hard at times to get my head round
the taste of popular culture....but an easier path to
rake it in on the streets....is to give em' what they
want!!!What's popular isn't always so positive
either!Look at Ronald McDonald for example...perhaps
the most recognized clown icon in the World today!What
the fuck....does he do for humanity?
It does get tiring hearing the same lines year after
year... & seeing the same cliche' busking formula
method over & over & over again....which seems to just
about be....the only way to be taken seriously as a
true professional on the street!
The biggest earners on the street are far from the
most entertaining....but the general public....know no
better.I guess it seems similar with most
entertainment industries...music(pop...one line lyric
songs that hit the Jack Pot...Fuck knows how?)etc!
The whole World is selling out....it's friggin'
rigged!What should i do?Take the money & run!If you
can't beat em....join em'?What do you say
aye....aye...aye?I'm lost!I'm just a GoOOSe!I'm all
over the shop!Shit!Help me!Just joking!My jokes are
getting worse!There's no chance for jester's to afford
a castle!I may as well sell out & become a Burger
King!
I think someone should seriously do a piss-take of
generic shows....& milk it to the max....& God hope it
does so well.....that it will become so
popular....that it will eventually re-educate the
masses.....to support more originality on the street
so the generic formula show performers end up working
in banks....where they would be better off
financially!
If the same punters really did pay that much attention
to street theatre & viewed it over & over
again.....they probably would be embarrassed to laugh
at the same jokes again....in front of other punters
who knew it down pat!
Gorblimey!Perhaps i should get off the
street.....before i turn into a bitter old burnt out
dying art hanging onto a mouldy fart!
What's all this frigggin' smart...sport fashion street
wear....street cred crap about!Ya supposed to look
like money aye???Well aye...aye?Sheep mentality.....i
think people are afraid....& just go along with what's
popular!I'm going to create a tribe of
individuals!That's my mission!Just joking!Anyway don't
take me seriously.....because i'm just a novelty!You
can take it either way!I'm going to metamorphasize
into Ronald McDonald...& then i must just get taken
seriously!Is that the answer?I'll be right......it's
more healthy to be a fool all in all.....than be
another Ronald clone....who appears to be the
business!Is it a fine line between health &
wealth?What about the line between money & art?Also
body,mind & spirit!
I'm losing it!I'm going to join the Hare
Krshna's.....no i'll become a born again pixie
instead!No....fuck it.....i'm going to run off into
the woods & take all my clothes off...& totally
disconnect myself from society & completely pixie out
to the max....& get taken by a beautiful nymph to
Fairy Land before i get eaten up by the rat-race!The
Big Smoke is trying to suck me into earning as much
bucks as possible!Money is God....& everyone knows
it....& there is nothing beyond it...in our urbanised
upbringing!The power of advertising will lead us into
the Kingdom Of Fortune!You gotta think "BIG,BIG,BIG!"
Love is for pansies.....no wonder the recent Woodstock
was just too hip!Am i a hippy?Money will solve that
problem!Give me some money & i'll make sense!Has
money...thwarted the human race?Oh golly gee......i'm
really getting delirious....& the more i write....the
less on the ball i'm getting.....& it's going to get
more & more complex......so i better just....hurry up
& condense all this mumble jumble....a bit more
concisely....but i'm a fool that's losing the
plot....because my eyes are really turning into
mothballs quite fast by crikey!
How frigggin' spontaneous....is the street really?I
mean...half the frigggin' show is geared up to get the
punters to fork out their bucks!I don't have a hatred
of buskers....who earn big bucks....i just at times
loathe....those kind of predictable formula
shows(i'm sure i'm not the only one)....that get credited as being so called professional
...when really they are as cheap....as a car salesman!!!
It's kind of degrading......when the most generic shows on Earth....set an example of what a show should be....& then
it's virtually impossible for a fool to follow...in the
locked McDonald's mentality framework!OOops i better log off
before i get into trouble....because i'm really blowing my
own trumpet now....but i hope that i can be forgiven....but if not..
that's your problem!We all must forgive...but it doesn't mean that
i should pay out generic shows does it?Uncle Sam's where the
bucks are man....so go & frigg off little pansy Mr Puniverse jester's!"Power Hype Shows Rock....& Introverted Overdrive Sissy Shows Suck!!!""
It's pretty sad!!!
It makes you mad!!!
I'm not bad though.....am i?
Gorblimey!I've got about another 10,000 lines to do.....for frigggin' out loud.....this has got me off my tangent nut....i'm going to spill it all out....& into the public domain....with relentless utter gibberish~gobbledygook....for all i'm worth!!!
<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" /> Jester's don't need money!That's what the general public think!No joke!They look like gypsies....& people know it!Name one loaded jester aye aye?Fuck it!I'm going for the MEga Bucks!Fuck it!I'm gonna do it man!Big Time!Big...Big...Big...Big!I'm on my way to affording my own King!I'll start up the Kingdom of Big Bucks!!!
People perhaps all ready know....that fool's & their money
are soon parted!!!Can i be the first millionaire jester
on the street?Maybe i might just do better if i get my vocal chords
altered with a deeper normal voice...& not wear a costume....& wear
street cred....stylish hip attire(that takes 1 minute to get ready)....& have pop music coming out full
blast out of a mega amp....& ride a 10 foot unicycle so everyone
can see me from the distance...& do the oldest juggling tricks in the book....& tell everyone how sensational the show is!No-one will ever
know if i just steal someone else's show....they'll probably
pay me even more than it's originator!Oh gosh.....i'm going to
have an orgasim....i'm the God of money on the street....but i just
won't admit that Kylie makes me feel like a pauper!
Gorblimey!What good are jester's if they don't tell the truth aye?Aye,aye,aye?Nudge,nudge....know what i mean aye?Wink,wink...get it...aye,aye?Got the picture?Shit!!!It's hard to tell the truth without being cynical!Fuck it...it really is an art!No wonder at times previous King's just couldn't hack that jester shit!!!Gorblimey!Maybe i should just be an innocent....happy go lucky jester.....with a big positive smile & zip my lips(Oops that doesn't make sense)....& be completely 100 percent positive......like a turtle....finding
it impossible to frown!!!Maybe that might make me happier....as
i will have nothing to answer for.....as silence is golden isn't it?
I'm giving up the street & so turning in!I'm going to meditate away the days.....until i wither away into nothingness!Perhaps there is more to gain with this kind of nothing...than trying to have all the somethings?Frig it!I'm a jester & my mission is to hopefully
turn into a gooOSe if i'm lucky!I'm going to become or not become a fool's fool!Frig it!Every single subject is a never ending whatever.....as there's more than more to go....if time is available!
Anyway all the very best with everything....everybody & cheeers
by crikey!Love Rumpelstiltskin!P.S.Oops!Perhaps i should of kept it under my hat....but now....i've really popped me bottle!Don't worry!
I'm not afraid of change....so give me some money ya tightarses!!!just joking!Don't!Gosh!The way i'm going....i'll probably end up having a phobia about making money!!!OOops!Have i done my dash?Is there anyway i can win now???Maybe i'm a born again loser?I guess the only way to success is through failure?If you call money success.....i confess i am a failure...just joking!I'll frigggin' get that castle if it's the last thing i ever do!Maybe...i'll just have to take over a castle equipped with my strap-on gherkin studded stonker & charge it....for all it's worth?Who said jester's were
out of fashion?I'm going to bring em' back in fashion....as Ronald FuckDonald will lose flavour...as i'm going to seize his bauble & stick it up his arse!!!Don't mess with me...because i'm a GoOOSe!!!
I'm going to have an arm wrestle with myself....& see who wins???THe Crumbleforeskin Empire is Declining.....so tell everyone out there.....to frigggin' pay me...mega buck's for my forthcoming street-shows so i can expand on it...into the biggest card-board box chain-castle kingdoms on Earth!!!Are you with me?
Personally i think rooster's are far funnier than some of those...tragic copy-cat humungous money spinner shows....but what
have they got to show for it: "CHICKENFEED!"
THey're obviously not in it for the money!I guess they're too naturally fucken funny to even cope with the thought of money?
I'm going to train up a rooster so it can be my pet side-kick...
& get the show on the road!If everyone ends thinking i'm a tosser...
at least i'll have my pet rooster to turn to....for some laughs!!!
I'll call it Henry.....or even Henrietta if it's a girl & we'll do
just fine!!!
Anyway....i'm now wondering if i'm asleep....& all this is just..some
surreal dream....that i'm swimming through.....or perhaps a story that keeps popping out....& i'm trying to pop it back in again & again.....so no-one ever notices it?OOps...this is real....& it's
getting more surreal....as one of my eyeballs has just turned into a full mothball!
Give me some money will ya or i'll call the police!
Give me some money will ya or i'll resign from the human race!
Don't give me any money or i'll go ape!!!
Love sucks....hand over the money!!!
Know....LOve Rocks...so where's the money?
Fuck it!I've gone full(fool) deal here...like a Wild Card Joker...
trying to win a never-ending poker game!!!
Oh lordy lord....golly God & Goddesses....i'm on a tiring tangent...& this would of probably turned out better....if i wasn't so lardy-dardy-da...on an airy-fairy non-stop pixie-prattle session of rambling rattle-outings!!!Oh well.....i've written all this now....so what's done is done!P.S.Cheeers!What more should i say?What more shouldn't i say?
<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" /> [img]rolleyes.gif[/img] <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" /> [img]confused.gif[/img] <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Thank God(if there is any such thing)that there is Street Theatre Festivals....or busking.....for busking sake would be a little bleak on it's own!
There is a bit of a difference between busking & street theatre!If it wasn't for street theatre festivals....i'd probably be in the woods painting fairies.At least Street Theatre events support more originality....so it keeps me on the streets!Anyway ciao for now.....as i'm now off with the fairies!P.S." <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" /> "

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I need a cheese-ball... [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Triona]

Never give up Rumple, the world needs the jesters... <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" /> GOOOSE! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]