Martin Kicks Arse

[le pire]

Social experiment:

You know this is just a really, really lame smoke screen.

First, Jester, explain a little more about this "experiment."

Do you have a control group?
Is your experiment repetable by third parties (vital for proving a theory)?
Are you simultaniously performing this "experiment" with other on-line communities?
And finally:

by actively participating in the sociological experiment, you have tainted the data. You've basically done the equivalent of Jane Goodall running through the jungle in a gorilla costume.


etienne

[firegirl]

SOMETHING FUNNY? HOLY CANNOLIS!

heh, heh... jane goodall running through the jungle in a gorilla costume. that's funny, etienne... good one!

[Peter Voice]

And now a word or two from Dicko and the Colonel

The Colonel; “Well, Sports Fans, it’s three quarter time here at “The P.net ", " World Full Contact Blood Word Championships” (ignoring the joke about trying to say that three times fast) and I must say it’s been a pretty dull affair this year. What do you think, Dicko?”

Dicko; “Well Colonel, the stats say it all, really. With 45 attacking moves Jester has dominated the play without scoring a single point. Basically, every time he goes to the plate, he ends up off-side and snookers himself giving away a rebound. Fire-girl has been in the play a lot with 35 possessions and whilst she has drawn some blood with a couple of great body blows and strong assists, she has really only scored against the rookie, Magrat.”

The Colonel; “Magrat has really tried hard today though hasn’t she, Dicko?”

Dicko; “Without a doubt but you really have to wonder why she is even on the track, Colonel, she’s had the baton 25 times and has bogied nearly every hole. I think she should have started her maiden run in a smaller field and over a shorter distance. Martin has come in with 15 telling tackles but, despite constantly pounding his opponent, has been unable to draw blood due to the fact that his opponent has actually been dead for some time. The stewards will be looking at possible charges for excessive use of the whip in the first race.”

The Colonel; “Yes, Dicko, I think Martin’s game faded a bit in the 3rd chukka but I expect him to come out punching for the last couple of hundred metres. Now, young Etienne seems to be warming to the game with a couple of beautiful drives and a superb pit-stop to score a couple of birdies and of course that Dodo in the ninth hole. Scot, Stephon and Nick all played a set each but you can tell their hearts just aren’t in it today.”

Dicko; “Don’t forget the Doc's perfomance, Colonel, 15 shots, each lifting the bar. Good to see the "young guns" moving up the ranks. On the other side of the coin there was that beautiful diversion from the veteran Butterfly Man. It’s just proof that the old master is as demented as ever.”

The Colonel; “And what about Voice? He has teed off 14 times and can be very efficient playing from the left field?”

Dicko; “Well Colonel, you know what I think of him! Personally, I don’t understand how that animal is still allowed on the rink. He should have got life for that hit on (Beeep) in last year’s titles. I can assure you the tribunal will be reviewing the tapes of today’s match too, to check out the legality of at least one of his “behind play” tackles. The drug testing issue remains unresolved too”

The Colonel; “ Well, Dicko. The players are returning to the pool so let’s hope this tournament really comes to life in the last quarter and we get to see some real blood.”

Dicko; "They're looking good, some have even had a shower and breakfast.
And, WHOA! Look at that, Colonel, a few players are even doing JFZ, right there pool-side."

The Colonel; "This is gonna be good, Dicko"

[Butterfly Man]

hold that thought ... I gotta pee

all this as all my worldly possessions set sail for their 3 weeks of cruising the Pacific ...

I guess I'll have to go to internet cafés to watch the carnage ...

... will you miss me?

Bwahahahahahaha

[jester]

Was that Jane Goodall in that Gorrilla Costume? She looks so much younger in real life.

Yeah well you obviously know a little about science Etienne. Control groups Yes. 4. A golfers Forum, A Girls Aloud fan club forum (which is not nearly as viscious as the golfers) a Helicopter Enthusiasts Forum and a Video Film Makers Forum.

Obviously, I'm not actually writing a paper, nor did I seriously expect anyone to think I was. I think even Firegirl worked one out.

I didn't do this purely as an experiment, I loved it. I thought this thread would be dead by now, but it isn't is it?

Firegirl you are so uninformed. You learnt this at a ren fair. "ren" is not proper English for crying out loud! Get your act together.

Well my sources claim that there are actual Parish Records with the FUCK written in them. They are currently checking out the Royal Orders theory. I've heard it before but it is very unlikely. Etymologist tend to claim that the origin of FUCK is unknown.

If this thread is killing you why aren't you dead yet? Admitedly you'er very weak now, but go and get a cure, nobody is going to thank you for martyring yourself in order to prolong this thread.

Theres a Jester free zone you can visit, run be the remarkable Peter Voice.

I know why I'm here. I'm not sure why you guys are. I'm happy if you are.

Magrat. You are funny. Has Martin given you a badge yet.

[Magrat2005]

nope, no badge, no medal...not even a handbook telling me what to do

[jester]

Well, just use your discretion and excercise your new found governmental powers wisely.

Banning Geri Halliwell and complusory Text messaging classes for the over 21s would be a good start.

[martin ewen]

moving this over for closure

My fellow nonsalsiburyians.
Jester has admittedly been having a bit of vivisectionist fun spraying his irritant personality into our little bunny eyes. He's calling it, social experimentation. It will never end, trust me. (I'm an alpha..look deep into my eyes....)
I caught myself this morning and may well have saved my own life. I was just about to download his entire post history and put it into filemaker for an insightful bit of statistical analysis. Thankfully I stopped myself, "Good God man!" I thought.."Do you honestly believe that quantifying this idiots fixation with you will serve any purpose?"
The brief foray yielded the fact that in his first week he posted a mere 6 times, starting textbook topics involving guncontrol and politics. It took him til the 6th post before he refered to me and I had had no input or relation previously, "I, and martin and many others."
I've been watching this develop since 2000. No-one has referred to me by name more than he, no-one has complimented me more than he, no-one has so desperately tried to engage me more than he.
There are two main causes of this latest outbreak.
One was that I got married a month ago, and jester, without being told somehow sensed it, all his hopes and dreams and asperations of the two of us gently lapping at each others sphincters on some inflatable mattress bobbing in a swimming pool in the sunny south of France were dashed.
The final straw was when he started a thread designed for maximum voyeuristic potential asking all what they were like at school. People answered because, well, it's an easy question.Its a standard opener for any budding relationship. You get to find out about people, share, be intimate.
And I shat on it.
It was like a room full of people on E led by a needy guru enjoying warm fuzzies and in I walked with my spiked jacket and my anger and contempt and i put thrash metal on and mashed and butted the guru.
It wasn't pretty, and the little jester that couldn't got very miffed children, he finally snapped, I had spat on his jacket.I had interrupted a small pocket of reality that he had created that validated him. I was a bully (but its a quality control thing guys, honestly, look deep into my eyes...I'll explain tomorrow.) and he decided to go on a crusade.
So he went out to the carpark and popped into a phonebox and changed himself into "Captain Blahgatroid."
The rest we all know is history.

I leave you all now with a gift of immeasurable value.
Go and look Jesters profile up on the members list, or click his profile on one of his posts if you can find one.
Put him on your ignore list and then come visit this tread again.
Quality up, quality down, quality up.

Its more fun reading around him for me.
Its the jesterrette patch he mentioned earlier.
Its real...I've tried it..It's beautiful.
Thank you, your welcome.
Now for the sake of getting all the brutality on the one subject in the one place.


You really are pitiful jester, to presume anyone's interested in your spam.
What you are doing is deliberately and systematically polluting these boards for the sake of inflicting yourself on a group of people who use these boards to entertain and inform each other.
You simply entertain yourself because the power you have to post whatever you like temporarily fills your compulsive void. But like any textbook compulsive/addictive personality the reasons for your fix are deep-seated and will never be sated by what you are doing here. You are using these boards as a perverse form of self medication.
We all preserve our cultured indifference here but its easy to see on other levels that we do actually respect this website, we play. You don't play. You masturbate. You don't respect this site and you don't care at all for anyone here. You are a self absorbed, petty, devastatingly lonely, selfish, deluded, ill little man.
You would rather people dislike you than ignore you because you haven't the strength of character to see that there's another option. I don't believe you are capable of doing anything more than inflict what you seem to think is your personality (when in fact its just an obvious collection of symptoms) on people who for some time now have been protesting and insulting and doing whatever they can to simply have you stop.
The only power you have at present is negative. Simply put you require more energy to be around than you can personally spare others.
You are a sick leech, and the saddest and most pitiful thing of all is that your satisfied with that.
The internet gives you the ability to find someone's house, throw stones at the window, and run away giggling... indefinitely.
It must be wonderful to get all this attention when you know you really don't warrant it. We cant ignore you because you make it deliberately impossible. We care about this site and you run roughshod all over it gibbering like....um...a gibbon.
Why should we ignore you? Its not like your going to stop. You'll just keep on trying till you get what you want. Validation. You enjoy others pity because that way you never fail at anything.
As such you are a resounding success on your own terms.

[jester]

You are very very funny. That is hilarious.

You are going to ignore me? And my thread hit the top ten most posted threads (discounting Rumples cos he posts so many of his own posts).

This thread is NOW CLOSED.

[martin ewen]

It can be done...be strong

See! I got a reply but I didn't take the option of opening it. maybe I'll wait an hour, or a day, or a week, or a month.
These patches really work!

[le pire]

Jester,

Who died and made you Jim?

etienne

[martin ewen]

A simple plea

Could you consider quoting the specific piece of flotsam you are using as a springboard for your wonderful wonderful comebacks and witticisms?
It would help me you see because otherwise I'm deaf. Can't hear a blimmin word. Pardon?

[jester]

Okay. In that case.

I am done with this thread.

(Puts fingers in ears, and hops around on stilts shouting "not listening, not listening, not listening.)

[le pire]

Oh, sorry...

Originally posted by jester
This thread is NOW CLOSED.

Who died and made you Jim?

[le pire]

Originally posted by jester
(Puts fingers in ears, and hops around on stilts shouting "not listening, not listening, not listening.)

We know.