Please stop calling me

[Dan Holzman]

Whoever is calling me at all hours of the day and night. Please stop. It isn't funny anymore. If you continue with this constant harassment I will be forced to call the police. I know that you are a performers.net reader because of some of the things you have said to me.
I think you should have realized by now that the fight of the century post with me and Robert nelson fighting was a joke. I'm sure he doesn't know about you calling me, and would be very upset if he knew what you were doing.
So stop now before this goes any farther.
Thank you,
Dan Holzman

[scot]

Actually, I think that Robert was very angry.

Make the Butterfly Man proud, be diligent. keep calling. You will have a small fine for harrasment and it will be worth the respect you gain on Performers.net.

[le pire]

Scot, please, you are otherwise very intelligent and thoughtful, but maybe performing at Huis Ten Bosch has fried your brain. No one deserves harrassement for ANY post on an internet forum!

If Robert was angry, then Robert can fight his own fights-- I think he more than demonstrated his ability.

Whoever is harrassing Dan: you're not cool, you're not funny, leave Dan alone.

étienne

[Doctor Eric]

I'm with stupid.


Scot, please, you are otherwise very intelligent and thoughtful, but maybe performing at Huis Ten Bosch has fried your brain; your sig file is too many pixels long and screws up my page format.

[martin ewen]

Couple of questions.

Dan
Why bother addressing an entire BB over the actions of a purile anon individual?
What do you possibly hope to achieve?
Why hesitate in involving authorities who at the very least could retro-actively trace the calls to a private line or public location?

Once again I strongly suggest you take a psych class or two.
Pleading with faceless bullies is simply dumb.
It really isn't our problem.
I resent the implication that it somehow is.
Someone is harrassing you who has had access to a public website and a telephone book.
Deal with it.
..I'm sorry, I have to add, You say "it isn't funny anymore." Surely just a bad choice of phrase.

[scot]

Whoever is harrassing Dan: you're not cool, you're not funny, leave Dan alone.

sounds like someone's projecting.

your sig file is too many pixels long and screws up my page format.

My deepest apologies, Eric. I attemped to fix that one for you. Let me know if it's ok now. Also, you can make your eyes look better if you make the gray ring around the pupil, a gradient top to bottom - dark to light.

What do you possibly hope to achieve?

Martin, a well formed question.

[Dan Holzman]

Martin is it you?

I don't know what you sound like in person Martin, but some of the things you are saying sound awfully familiar. The caller said he didn't think I was funny either. He didn't use the word purile, but it wouldn't surprise me if he did.
Maybe you are the one who needs a psych class or two. especially if you get your kicks harassing strangers over the phone.
I've tried to star 69 the caller, but the number is blocked. I guess that service doesn't work with international calls does it Martin?

P.s. I'm not implicating anything, just reporting the truth.
Dan

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

martin's voice

No, if it was Mart, you'de know. His voice is kiwi topped with New Zed, laced with a touch of oz, sprinkled with kiwi, lightly peppered with zed, and you've got it, but add some more oz. He also has somewhat of a life.

Scott, it's still too big. Doesn't usually show up on my mac, but now I'm in a library in Nederland, CO, and your posts here have unfair size advantage, which brings up a lot of high school issues, for me.

xo, ks

[Doctor Eric]

Let's burn Martin at the stake.

[martin ewen]

You need therapy and a policeman

"I'm not implicating anything, just reporting the truth."

Lets deconstruct your post shall we Dan?

"I don't know what you sound like in person."
-Fact

", but some of the things you are saying sound awfully familiar"
-Implication.

"The caller said he didn't think I was funny either."
-Fact,

"He didn't use the word purile, but it wouldn't surprise me if he did."
-Implication

"Maybe you are the one who needs a psych class or two. especially if you get your kicks harassing strangers over the phone."
-Supposition, implication, muted wimpy accusation.

"I've tried to star 69 the caller, but the number is blocked."
-Fact

"I guess that service doesn't work with international calls does it Martin?"
-Implication and direct accusation.

This is followed by the blatent lie that you implicate nothing and are merely outlineing 'truths'

You really are one pathetic deluded waste of my time Dan. I didn't think there was anything shallower than Fox TV until you arrived.
Even with the universe constantly expanding as some theorys suggest, I'm staggered that it manages to contain your stupidity.
I enjoyed comicly gutting you like a fish when you first appeared, all bloated with brittle self regard, and for you to presume that I had need to further insult you (and only privately) is a symptom of your self centerted illness.
As of now however I will continue to mock your facile attempts to gain attention until eventually you stagger off, stunned by the realisation that you have embarrassed yourself beyond repair.

You may or may not have a crank caller.

Apparently this person disputes your comic facilities, and so your answer is to go onto a public forum and beg them to stop.
You appear to have the intelligence of a vitamin deficient stick insect so I'm going to suggest a course of action that has possibly escaped you.
Call the authorities.
Tell them of the brilliant star 69 detective work you have done thus far, this will save them many man hours vainly duplicating your intensive amature sleuthing.
Mention also your miniscule list of suspects.
If you recieved any of these calls on the 24/25/26/27/or up to lunchtime (mountain time) on the 28th of June, ask them to check whether the calls originated from utah at all, specifically rm 399 of the travelodge Inn 999 main st salt lake city. Or if they originated from a mobile, any relay in the downtown salt lake city area.
I was a guest of the arts festival there over those dates.
I believe they even produced a program that shows a likeness of me and one or two of the 90,000 participants might even remember seeing me.
Having used logic and investigative means that you yourself lack, I will certainly be removed as a suspect.
At that point i would think it appropriate for you to apoligise publicly for your slurs on this BB.
And pay me $400 to pretend to forgive you.
Otherwise Dan I'm afraid that because of your actions, I am going to ridicule your sorry arse each and every time you are moron enough to delude yourself that you have any status left to lose.

It is a measure of a fraction of your stupidity that i can call you names and insult you at will on these boards and the first time you try to be aggressive you over-reach and owe me an apology.
(I'll spell it out Dan, You directly linked me to a crank caller you allege is calling you)

This may be one of those rare moments Dan when it actually IS all about you.

[Dan Holzman]

You are no longer a suspect.

Martin,

I have double checked your story, and you really were at the Utah Arts festival on the days you mentioned. I officially take you off of my suspects list. I apologize for any discomfort my last post may have caused you.
I haven't received a single call since my post. That's the main thing. I guess I made my point.
As long as I don't get any more calls I see no need to go any further with my investigation. So miscreant of misinformation, you're off the hook.....for now.
Dan

[Doctor Eric]

"Vitamin deficient stick insect?"

Thass a good 'un. (As long as you're not an overly sensitive paranoiac insect of the stick variety).

Dan, do you ever go back and read the crap that you write? I'm incredulous at the amount of ignorance you've managed to squeeze down an ethernet cable.
Chill the !@#? out, at this point your foot is so far down your throat that you are about to shit your own kneecap.

I still say we torch martin.

Scot, your sig file is still too damned long

[scot]

Riddle: What makes you want to call Dan Holzman?

As long as I don't get any more calls I see no need to go any further with my investigation.

Everyone take it easy.

I'll be Martin's alibi. He was prank calling me. Too busy for anyone else. Martin, you got cut off in the third chapter of Prince Caspian.

Listen to you in fear later,
Scot

[martin ewen]

Scot
The Prince Caspian reference,
Chapter 3 'the dwarf'
Thats a different dwarf from my favorite, I like the one who wore the high heels and hung out in turrets stargazing.
Dan, pleased to hear the voices have ceased.

[Dan Holzman]

more suspects

Up till now, I never thought I would say what I am about to say. Due to recent posts on this site I am forced to add Doctor Eric and Scot Nery to my list of suspects. Scot I know you are in Japan So I am sure I could recapture my phone records and have them checked retroactivly to see if any of the calls were initiated in that region.
Doctor Eric I don't know where you live, but I don't think it would be impossible to find out. I'm sure you're listed in one of the united states fifty major yellow page Books. As soon as the library opens I am going to take the time to track you down.
The calls, or voices as Martin so lugubriously called them have ceased. My sense of inner peace and contenment has returned, Everything is right in the universe and I am free of fear and regret.
I would like to thank the readers of this newsgroup for their support in getting through this difficult time.
Dan