RANT HERE

[le pire]

[quote]Originally posted by Danny Hustle:
<strong>

An asshole is an asshole. Guys with tree trunk arms tend to be physically bullying and intellectually demeaning to others and "lithe fairies" tend to be just intellectually demeaning to others.
</strong><hr></blockquote>




let's do the math:


fairy = intellectually demeaning +1 =1
big guy = physical threat +1 intellectually demeaning +1 =2

The mathematics proves that guys with arms the size of tree trunks are TWICE the threat of fairies!!!

[Danny Hustle]

[quote]Originally posted by le pire:
<strong>




let's do the math:


fairy = intellectually demeaning +1 =1
big guy = physical threat +1 intellectually demeaning +1 =2

The mathematics proves that guys with arms the size of tree trunks are TWICE the threat of fairies!!!</strong><hr></blockquote>

Not if you've spent most of your life fighting big guys. That negates the physical threat of the big guy for me. I’ve been hit by big guys (too many times in the head say many) it’s not a big issue for me.

But I can’t hit small fairys that are assholes and that burns my ass.

So in my case that makes Fairys 2 big guys 1.

I also think it is unfair that we are not mentioning the medium sized average asshole and the big tree trunk armed fairy asshole.

I do not feel bad about mixing it up with tree trunk armed fairies.

And being a medium size asshole myself I don’t mind mixing with them either.

In my case thin fairy asshole wins hands down for biggest problem.

Best,

Dan-

[le pire]

Touché!

Great post Danny!

Thanks for the laughs.


étienne

[Peter Voice]

Is it just me or is George Dubya looking more like Alfred E Newman every day?

[Butterfly Man]

Did you ever get drunk and then do something you regretted the next day?

Always gets a laugh when I take my hat off ...

which I’m doing now ...

bowing, to beg your forgiveness ...

I have posted someone else’s material, as another person ... sort of a double plagiarism ... I recently used Karl’s poem to post in Gweedo’s name.

They both have knowledge that I did this despicable act.

I have used Gweedo to post other remarks in the past as well ... he knows about it and forgives me, as has Karl for using his poem.

Though they have both been gracious, but I that doesn’t means it’s ok.

I can’t believe that I did that ...

I am truly sorry.

[Prof Willie B]

I'm shocked, Robert.

What can we say???

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Hmmm, you must be easily shocked. This is a trifle, a whimsy: a parking violation in the Enron files. If you were riding along a ten-font list of Robert's dubious mischief, even on a fast Harley, you would want to bring a lunch.
Moreover, like the rest of it, it reflects one desire only: to provoke a laugh.


[img]tongue.gif[/img] Too bad you couldn't keep it under your fool toupee awhile longer, you guilt-ridden virgin, we woulda milked it.

[le pire]

A while back I bought Randy Charach's millionaire magician book and since then I have received a spam from him or one of his many 'companies' offering me more books, seminars, email coaching, more books, more seminars, more "how to be $$$$LOADED$$$$", ACT NOW, I'll give you TEN bonuses!

The irritating thing is, I READ HIS FREAKIN' BOOK so I am IMMUNE to his stupid high pressure marketing techniques!

His book shouldn't be called Secrets of a Millionaire Magician, 'cause I'm still broke, but 'How To Recognize Scam Tactics.'

[Danny Hustle]

[quote]Originally posted by le pire:
<strong>'cause I'm still broke</strong><hr></blockquote>

A crappy but all to true (for me anyway)joke:

Three newly departed spirits are hanging around the pearly gates with St. Peter.

St. Peter says to the first, “So, how much money did you make in your best year on earth?”

“In 1999 I made 275,000.”

“Wow, that’s great. What was your profession?”

“I was a doctor, a general practitioner.”

St. Peter says to the second, “How about you?”

“In 2000 I made 1.5 million.”

“Excellent! What did you do?”

“Internet start up.”

Finally to the third he said, “And you?”

“Hmmm… In 2002 I made 18 grand.”

“Really! So what kind of magic did you do?”


Best,

Dan-

[Rich Potter]

[quote]Originally posted by le pire:
<strong>A while back I bought Randy Charach's millionaire magician book and since then I have received a spam from him or one of his many 'companies' offering me more books,
.... I'm still broke, but 'How To Recognize Scam Tactics.'</strong><hr></blockquote>

Heh heh.
I didn't buy any of his books, and I get his SPAM for FREE!

Who says you can't get something for nothing?

--Rich

Has anyone gotten his "How to be funny" newsletter? A rip-roaring good time, let-me-tell-you.

[Evan Young]

During the month I was in LA I had a lot of fun and made a lot of progress tward my performing career...even made some money....but...
I was working on this promotions contract for these soy based meat replacement products. Basicly I was cooking and handing out samples in grocery stores for six hours a day for four weeks. It was soooo fucking boaring! And some of the people just killed me! God, the valley was like hell, especially Encino. I was sampeling soy tacos, so a lot of people asked me how to make a taco... What the fuck?!!?!?! how can you not know how to make a taco? It's southern california, you can't throw a rock and not hit a taco!
Then there were the people who asked me what the difference was between the tacos and the deli wraps I was serving.... between a deli wrap and a taco?.?... Well... One is a delli wrap and one is a taco....
And then there were the people who don't understand what vegitarian means. The converstation would go like this.
(Then) I can't eat meat
(me) it doesn't have any meat, it's vegitarian
(them) but I can see the meat
(me) that's not real meat, it's made of soy, it's vegitarian
(them) so there's no meat?
(me) nope, the meat is made of soy, it's good for you
(them) so there is meat!
(me) no, it's soy, no meat! it's vegitarian, vegitarian means no meat
(them) this too?
(me) I don't have any animal meat at this table, it's all vegitarian.
(them) your sure it has no meat?
(me) yes, I'm sure, I'm not trying to trick you.

Do you feel my pain yet?

Then there were the anti soy people who would act like my presence was ruining their day.... as if I was trying to rob them with my free samples... as if I was trying to poisen them with my fat free, cholesterol free, hormone free meat alternative.

At the end of the day the gig taught me a lot, saved my bank acount, and got me in the good graces of a busy promotions agency in LA.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

This morning, I got into the truck at 3:27 to make a 5:30 call for promo spots on a NY morning show. I'm pimping a festival I'll work this weekend. I'm pulling thousands out of it, so I've gotta be on my best behavior. I arrive on time. The TV truck is late.

The host guy is more late. His first words to me are "Give me one of those torches". No "Hello". I immediately dislike the guy, if dislike is the word I'm looking for, and spend the morning having him play with my props, faking atttempts with them. And the mortgage is riding on it.

Meanwhile, inside me, the old Indian watching litter on the side of the highway wept. All morning.

Now, home, I'm not here 10 minutes, and I spilled my cofffee, breaking a cup which a potter who I know and love made on her wheel in her basement.

I hate TV. I hate morning talk show guys. I hate this incessant need for cash. And all of you. And life. That's all.

[Butterfly Man]

misery loves company

Well, fuck you ... an upcoming multi $ gig, a stylin' church that's y-o-u-r-s, a hot babe who's smart, talented and slightly over-sexed (if there is such a thing) waking up next to you every morning, Martin "fucking" Ewen down the block (for entertainment and to fill in for your shit gigs), not to mention a full head of healthy black glistening hair ... and you spilled your coffee and broke your widdle mug ... Boo Hoo and Fuck You too ... & the 10ft. unicycle you rode in on.

Go write a book, but do us a favor ... leave that chapter out.

[martin ewen]

Yeah well but

I woke up this morning and all the leaves on the trees that impound my house with their leafy omnipresence were all turning putrid shades of red.
The goddamn biological spawn of my partners unforgivable knuckle dragging thrice inseminating lapse of judgement were shuffling round feeding themselves and just their presence confirmed to me that the world is a dank pitiless farce full of stupidity and facile bravardo.
I then had to drive a 7 year old who turns 8 tomorrow to the school bus as he chirped away like a sparrow and it just ground my soul to dust to know he'll grow up and turn into a wisearse like his brothers and me and apparently his distant fucked up dad.
i then dwelt for a while on the fact that he needs me now and its going to be that much more difficult when I'm finally diagnosed with something terminal to piss off to a third world country and spend my last month or two immorally drenched in sensation before overdosing and leaving my body to some chambermaid to dispose of.
I then spent 2 hours surfing the net, filling my head with mundane novelty's just to keep my demons at bay and now I'm used as an example of some entertaining asset for some moribund church dwelling juggler and rocksalesman.
I don't know frankly how much more of this i can take. I need some sex.
Oh hello dear.

[Woofnah]

obsessively eating 1/4 of a watermelon

I'm not happy with my living situation. I can't afford to change it at this time. It's my own fault.

I've only done what I've had to do in order to financially survive most of my life. Now I'm financially stable (though not completely independent yet) and I need to do what's in my heart. I fear it may be too late for me, but I owe it to myself to throw as much of me into this as possible. If I push things as far as I can and succeed, I will then feel free to alter my living situation to make things as I want them (hopefully). If I push things as far as I can and fail, I'll know I wasn't good enough and never will be; then it will be okay to kill myself knowing I was useless all along.

I have the energy, but not the patience. No one is being very supportive right now. It's not like I even ask anyone for much. But why the hell tell me I'm no good, while simultaneously counting the handfulls of $1's and $5's from my last busk? Why can't you just shut the f--k up and count. Or better yet, give me my $$, STOP SPENDING WHAT I BRING IN AS IF IT'S YOUR GOD GIVEN RIGHT, keep your f--king mouth shut and leave me alone. And you ... the other one ... all I ask for from you is use of your body 3-4 nights a week. Why is that so damn hard to give me? After all the help I give you .... getting you off the streets, setting you up with a cellphone so you can get a job ... helping you out every damn time you call.

Dictionary definition of the word "gullible". That's me. Stupid and gullible.

... then ppl wonder why I have an eating disorder ...