RANT HERE

[Evan Young]

Debbie, you made my day.
--Evan

[Butterfly Man]

I feel so dirty, so unclean. I just want to wash myself, my clothes, the floor, everything he might have touched.

The washer is going ... it’s the first step. He might have touched one of the towels.

You’d think I would have learned not to put myself in that position again. It was not that long ago really, five, maybe six years. One would have thought I would have remembered. Obviously, not. Apparently, I had forgotten some and had suppressed the rest.

I do remember that initial phone call though. The kid said he was a street magician, an “escapologist”, he clarified. Of course, he immediately followed it by the comment “... but I’m a real one, not like everybody else.” I wondered if he knew how often I had heard that same line in the last twenty-two years.


He used all the right names, Ray Jason, Will Soto, Bounce, Cyrus, all the proper buzz words. My ears perked! He rattled off a veritable Who’s Who of street acts and passed them off as his “friends”. This kid seemed plugged in. I agreed to meet him for coffee.

Two blocks from my home at Venice Beach, we met. By all appearances a clean cut young man. Bright too, and reasonably articulate for a street performer. I thought him to be part of that “new breed” of street acts, like “The Jim Show”, that were currently climbing to the top of the modern day street scene. How wrong first impressions can be.


I foolishly invited him home. We chatted in the backyard. My wife excused herself almost immediately. She saw it coming long before I did.

We spoke about all facets of street performing, particularly the legalities. Despite his somewhat proselytizing views, I knew immediately where he stood in the street hierarchy. He said he did “the chains”. In my estimation that put him just below ‘juggler’ and slightly above a balloon clown.


From what I remember, he was extremely gratuitous and fed my ego a lot. Though we parted on a high note and actually got together later that week and shared a pitch in Santa Monica. It was horrible.

However, I had never given that kid the opportunity to do anything like what happened to me last night. Sure, I remember him screaming at me over the phone and forwarding his mail to my house and perhaps he charged one or two long distance calls to me. But he had left within a week, and I had put it all behind me.

But now, today, as I spray away all the blood and broken glass in my backyard, it all comes back to me.

I hear the buzz of the dryer and I shudder. A grotesque gargoyle cloud of mental anguish hangs over my head.

I just want to bathe.

[Evan Young]

California Sucks
Since I've been here I've gone through all the money I had (spending frugally), had to ask my Dad for money twice, crashed my car (it's been in the body shop for a week and a half now and may be in for another), had my pot and glass pipes taken away by highway patrole (not related to crashing my car), got a crappy hair cut, havn't made any new friends, can't get a cooking job (so-cal cooks are all mexican) or any other labor job, and I think my performance skills are getting worse.

I'm thinking of leaving next month.

[ 11-23-2002: Message edited by: Evan Young ]</p>

[HiveQueen]

Evan, I feel your pain and all, but it's not just California. Moving to a new place sucks if you don't have friends there, and it's worse if you don't have a job or school (instant purpose, instant social structure). I spent almost a year in Cambridge and was miserable pretty much the whole time. At least in Southern California it doesn't snow. If you're around Long Beach, let me know and I'll put you in contact with my friend Will, who is a juggler and all-around good people. The main question is: what are you looking to gain from living there?

Secondly, get your head out of your ass. Pot is, in fact, illegal, and if you're going to have it somewhere where highway patrol can find it, they're going to confiscate it. Leave it at home, or at least observe the "closed container" principle and seal it in a lot of zip-lock bags, then hide it somewhere it won't be found. Even then, don't transport it across borders -- state or national --without some serious consideration -- there are a lot of places where they'll do way more than just take away your stash and pipes.

It's a shame that you don't have a job, but at least your dad does, and has thus far been willing to co- your adventures out west. The economy is bad, especially out here, but it is always possible to get work. It may be low-paying, it may be boring, it may be hard, and it may be less fun than listlessness, but it gets you out of the house and out of your head, and one thing usually leads to another. Consider data entry, retail, or prostitution. And if a professional butchers your hair, you can complain to the salon manager and ask to have another of the people there fix it, unless you got a bad haircut in someone's kitchen, in which case it will grow out in a month.

Friends are easy to find. Get on the internet and find out where the juggling club at the nearest university meets. They will be nice to you. If you've scammed residency, take a class at the local community college. It's eleven dollars or so a unit, and the art history and intro to psych classes are fertile cruising grounds. Heck, just go back to the university (the big one with the juggling club) and start sitting in on random classes (make sure they're the huge ones with over a hundred people, and not six-person graduate courses) and telling intresting-looking people that you're considering attending, that you're out here for the time being and deciding whether to stay, that you're trying to find a job, that the highway patrol were mean to you (they'll sympathize). If you talk to a new person every day, eventually, some of them will become your friends or sleep with you or both. And if it doesn't work, at least Southern California universities are dripping with eye-candy.

The other thing to consider is that there are actual reasons that Southern California is despised by most of the country, and you may want to try Northern California or even another state.

Hugs & sympathy,
hq

[Evan Young]

I am definitly leaving LA as soon as possible. Staying here is like swimming upstream. My equipment is breaking down, and I don't have any money to get new stuff, I need promo material to work here, but I don't have any or any money to get some. My shows on Venice got a lot better, but the hats didn't, and now the cops are starting to hassle me.
All the real "jobs" that have expressed intrest in hiring me want me to work on the weekends, which would take street performing out of the picture. If I'm not going to be doing shows, I'd rather not be doing shows somplace else.
I'm trying to be positive, and it's hard. I'm gonna go home, live for free with my Dad, hang out with my friends, and work the garounteed job at the resteraunt. By mid Feb I should be re-grouped and ready to head out again. Plus, I allready have a stage gig booked back home, so hey!

P.S.--Yes I know getting caught with pot is dumb. I do lots of dumb things. For instance; I told my girlfriend in Colorado to date other people, I was going to go back on that today but aparently I'm a couple days too late. It's my own stupid fault, but it still sucks.

[Prof Willie B]

On studying this problem, Evan, I am prescribing at least 5 "Random Benevolent Anarchist Acts(RBAA's)" in your immediate vicinity daily for at least 10 days.

This is a serious dose, Evan.

50 moments of pure Silliness in only 10 days.

Be careful, few of us have gone there and we already have one Rumple.

If you follow this regime strictly, I can guarantee your itch will ease. Don't go home or move anywhere, just have 5 RBAA's (we call them Rubbaars) a day and keep us informed. Prognosi change all the time.

PS. It'll never be what you expected, but it might be what you make of it.

Health Warning
Beware most known "RBAA"s have long been recognised as having lasting side effects that can grow on you like cancer or friendship.

[Evan Young]

I havn't been beat. I still have my goals in mind and I will never give up.
My only expectation of LA was to learn. Since I've been here I have tried to teach and direct two young performers in my show. I think I probably learned more than they did. Now I can relate to the frustration my teachers felt. I learned a lot of other lessons too, it's been great.
Despite some setbacks, my compassion for performing has only grown.
I'm still gonna leave this town, and some day I will come back much stronger.
I'm not giving up, I'm just trying to keep moving forward.

Thank you for your support

[Cybele]

I must rant for a moment: I was thown out of a Starbucks while dressed as a Christmas elf.

Outdoor venue, day after Thanksgiving, we (two holiday jugglers, eight foot toy soldier and me, the eight foot elf)have a break, go into a warm place to order warm, caffinated beverages.

The manager told us (well, the two tall ones of us) that we were in violation of health code, and he would have to ask us to leave.

Happy Holidays! Think I'll switch to chai, or something.

Cybele

[Crescent]

YOIKS! That is seriously unfair (unless you were covered in bugs and such, which I seriously doubt [img]wink.gif[/img] )
*sigh* if only we could roam free however we wished...........

But we can't.

So BLAH.

[martin ewen]

"violation of health code"
I don't understand?? Unless you were one of those celtic/pre-christian holiday elves who were traditionally covered in goat dung what possible health code could you have been breaking?
You happened to be tall
( and most probably all goofy acting and distruptive but I'm only guessing and I've never been particularily charitable and anyway isnt an 8 ft elf an oxymoron? He could have quite legitimately kicked you out for being a contradiction in terms .)
Being tall has no impact on public health whatsoever.
It does however have advantages in spotting real violations in health code.
If this should happen again (how long do you plan your career as an 8 ft elf to last?) *he asks, shaking his head and sighing*
Simply pretend that you are there to INSPECT for violations in the health code and run round finding things your own height that have never been dusted. You will undoubtedly find many and a finger run across a surface with a couple of years accumulated dust is a powerful weapon in the right hands and worth free coffee at least.
You stilt people under 12 foot disgust me, undone by a starbucks drone, elf by name elf by nature.

[HiveQueen]

Write a polite but strongly disappointed letter to Starbuck's corporate offices, noting the store location and date of the incident. At the very least, they should send you an appology and a gift certificate for free coffee. "The health code," indeed.

[Mark Wessels]

If anyone has time to scroll down below the starbucks story and evan leaving california and read a post by Butterfly Man could they let me know what the hell is going on because I just don't get it. Perhaps I should stop worrying about content and enjoy the form but I'm curious. I was also reading the page two section of this same topic and I stumbled upon some of my very early posts. I had some good points but was trying to hard. Martin, you never took a stab at me. That's an open invitation,

mark

[Cybele]

Martin, I love you, you're so funny. "Kicked out for being a contradiction in terms." That's my life goal, actually.

And at twelve feet, how do you lean down to shake the hand of a child in a stroller? Or give a hug to a teenage yo-boy punkass?

Boys. Think size is everything.

xox, Cybele

[martin ewen]

Size is over-rated, being able to inflate it at will and being self effacing in accepting that on one level your whole sorry existance revolves around it is far more important. (my new book- 'my life as a penis vehicle' is due out shortly.)
Please don't love me its offputting.
Remember love conquers all like a landmine cures athletes foot.
The last time I hugged a teenager I was one.
Children in strollers are there for a reason and that is that parents can continue to shop even when the child is paralysed with fear.
You touch them? God help you. Be careful, when they're really young they actually smell edible. (its true..its natures way...I'll never do it again promice)
Mark please don't beg for punishment like some furtive whimpering submissive masochistic movie executive in his free time.
This is the rant subject in blah blah blah, if its non linear nature confuses you I suggest you triple your medication or stop entirely and hop onboard.

[Mark Wessels]

DAMN IT. I just lost my whole post. I should kill you all. Instead I will retype it because my life is THAT sad.