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Everything is "GooOse"& i know it! 
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I'm off againy with a
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AaaarrrrrrhhhhHHHHhhhHHHHHH Friggin'...Crikey!It's a real drag....when thick people throw bottles all over the ground....so you get a flat tyre!That's the second puncture i've had in 2 friggin' days!I walked my bike to a party on a ship & then managed to get a repair kit & fixed the bugger up again!Gosh!It's a Friggin' drag to fix up a puncture in the cold..& it's friggin' slippery ice...out there on some tracks!Gosh!You would'nt want to go arse over head & fall in the glass in the ice!I guess you can expect flat tyres at this time of year anyway!I can't remember one year where i didn't get a flat tyre on my bicycle on New Year's Eve in Amsterdam.A few year's back i got 2 flat tyres in a row & also got a flat tyre another year on my friggin' unicycle & had to carry the bugger everywhere!Cheeers!Friggin'Crikey!I hope i don't get another puncture when i leave this cafe as it makes you go
!P.S
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Gosh!I went to see if a band i know was on at the Paradisio in Amsterdam on New Year's Eve....but i got the night wrong....& it was an 80's night for New Year's Eve!God!THe 80's were the worst!We want Fucks Fizz!Sorry i mean Bucks Fizz!I guesss Devo weren't too bad!I think you all love Autobahn don't you!I think the 70's were better....with that cheesy disco stuff!Parliament were pretty disco-funkadelic!I think i'm off to try & find a venue where there is some Sherbert music...or Hush.....or Bay City Rollers or Sweet.....or Engelbert Humperdink!I think i desperately need a dose of Air Supply......while taking some helium....that will surely send me off on one!P.S
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Gosh!Many year's back i was with my mother & French step-father at a youth hostel in Byron Bay & it was night time...& my mother....& French step-dad were in the recreation room....& i went outside for something to do!All of a sudden i saw these little green frogs jumping around!I thought wow!I picked one up & walked back into the recreation room & put it on the billiard table!Everyone freaked out & screamed"It's a cane-toad!"I thought"What!"THey said that they are poisonous & can squirt you with poison!THat freaked me out a bit....so i go my t-shirt & wrapped it quick & chucked it back outside in the bushes!Crikey!
THere was a Cane-Toad launch on TV....year's back....a documentory on cane-toads!Apparently some guy got squirted in the eye & said it was the worst pain that he had felt in his life!Cane-toad can wipe out anything the same size within it's path!They can be quite brutal to the wildlife!
Year's ago i met this guy called Captain Rom Aero-Space Cyber Hippy & he was this big plump American man who wore white guru attire with pyschedelic mandlebrots all over them.He also was a friend of Timothy Leary & helped him out on some of his lectures!It's weird who you can meet at the Harie's sometimes!In Australia....in Melbourne there is a HAre Krshna Temple where alot of people go to have a big free vegetarian Sunday feast!
You can get high of cane-toads as they were a favourite of Captain Rom's!He said you pat(stroke)their back quite a number of times & then they eventually produce some sort of salivary stuff which you can get high on!He said they cane-toads were his highest high!THey are quite toxic....so i wouldn't trust getting high on them!Captain Rom was obsessed by them & even went to the Cane-Toad Documentary launch in Queensland!He also played the synthesizer & all his songs had toad references in them..e.g.Toad Temple....Toad Scapes...Toad Meditation etc!
He even had an avacado green station wagen that looked a bit toadish!I told him off the cuff that i had a Tonto's Expanding Headband album & he said that they were his favourite band!I haven't heard from him for year's & don't know if he's still alive?
Gosh!There are also legal natural high shops all over Amsterdam...well even a few in Australia!I just like to get high on air & dreams & helium(just joking?)!
Gosh!It's amazing what's considered legal in this World!All the legal things get away with it because it's considered legal...when in reality it should be illegal!I guess money talks!There is more resources in this World spent on Destruction!It's just common sense that if all the resources spent on nuclear weapons were instead invested on creative resources it would be a much more united Happier World!Give me some money & i'll make more sense!Well money isn't a bad thing....as it's energy!It's just how you use the energy!Gosh!You could probably feed a poor village in India for a day on a hundred dollars!I guess our standards are so high....because their standards are so bad!Anyway the World is too complex to put into a sentence!Cheeers & Toodleloo!
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"Fuck War!"
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Isn't it a nuisance when you get a bread crumb in your wind-pipe!Also when you don't have a hankie to wipe the snot out of the corner of your eyes!Also when you get a protruding taste bud.....& also when you go to laugh on a freezing cold day...but you can't as you might split your lips!Always remember to lick them when they're a bit frosty & you want to laugh!P.S
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I remember once that i dried my jester's outfit on someone's heater....& left it there for hours!It was a red-coil heater type & when i thought it was ready....i noticed that the heater had cooked it!All the buttons were starting to fall off as the threads were frayed from over-heating!I couldn't believe it as my jester's jerkin was totally covered with hundreds of buttons that took forever to put on...& now they were all falling off!I had already stitched each button on individually with 3 different kind's of thread...as i had to keep re-inforcing it with stronger thread!The next time i got linen thread to really to the trick!CHrist!It took me year's to get all them bastard buttons back on!Anyway thank God for fool's...so other people can learn from them!
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It's totally intense....that 1000's of hectares of bush in New South Wales has been wiped out & is still burning out of control!That's a real World fucking disaster.....so much space.....& so much natural oxygen gone to waste!It's a real global catastrophe!God!What a full on year last year was!What's this one going to be like?The fires still haven't gone out!
How can we all keep this World in healthy shape....so it doesn't completely spiral out of control in the most unfortunate way?
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Gosh!It's a drag when you're in another country & later you realise that you got the colour of the notes muddled up!I;ve done it a couple of times & given them far more than i should have!You have to have your wits about you too as there's those once in a blue moon times that they purposely short change you...& then you get really confused!
In Bulgaria i thought i was getting a good deal just to change $10 US....on the street as he said the rate was so good!THen when i went to change it...he backed out....& there i wanted my money back...& all these blokes come from no-where....so i quickly grabbed my money back.....but later realised when i got to a Chinese place to eat(when the bill came)...that i had been shorted from 10-1 US.I was skint so it was alot for me then...as the meal was only 1 US.Ontop of that the 1 US was a fake counterfeit one(it had been folded so you couldn't tell the different at first from a 10-1!Very clever!Anyway i'm off to rob a bag-lady of her last 3 pence & then i'll go to the op-shop & haggle down a pair of used old odd socks!P.S.GooOsE!
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I remember in Lismore in Northern New South Wales....i saw this house there & it was the highest up house on stilts you've even seen in ya life.I know Lismore get's flooded every so often....but this house was ridiculously too high up on aluminium stilts!I would hate to forget my keys & keep forgetting other things & have to go all the way back up the stairs again & back down!Crikey!
Another time i was in Lismore....this friggin' magpie followed me all around town & kept trying to nose-dive at me while i was riding my bike!It was friggin freaky!On a couple of occasions i stacked my bike as it nearly scared the living day lights out of me!I know it was nesting season for magpies but this was taking the piss!Lucky i had my helmet on!I even raced into an op-shop for safety....as this was on the back-skirts of the town!I waited for a while & even saw a plastic-feathered white dove with i i bought for about 20 cents & then stuck it on my helmet & then took off on my bike again....only to get the same friggin' magpie....charge at me!I eventually got the thing to Fuck Off....& i was right!Crikes!The flippin' magpies were a nuisance like that in nesting season in Lismore at times!Their beaks are very sharp!I read somewhere that if you wear really bright rainbowy colours that are a bit freaked out by that!Next time i'm in Lismore in magpie nesting season i will wear a rainbow clown wig!Anyway Toodleloo to you all!
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I think you've all got the hots for Tiny Tim!
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God!This was weird!I was at the circus festival in Australia in Mullumbimby in Northern New South Wales a couple of years ago....& when i went to the toilet....i saw a green frog...in the toilet munching on some poo stuck to the side!I guess we all have to make a living somehow?Yuck!!
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Gosh!If you were deserted on a small island for 12 days & only had 1 juggling ball....you could survive....as you could sprout it & eat it!That is,if it's stuffed with millet!
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It's a bit weird when you get a pimple on your eyelid!
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