Crikey!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!
Present yourself....
as a present...
to a lovely fairy....
& see if she fancies...
it...
but don't try
& get too saucy...
with her...
or she'll...
wish you away!!! <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Don't pin your hopes on that weasel....
because he likes to piss in the pickles
while putting on the ritz!
He's a frigggin' plumb loco gonzo..
all spruced up..
to suit himself..
& not your fancy!
I suggest you squirrel away...
you wretched prima donna..
& try & pull it off..
with your hiddeous goblin chauffeur...
or something...
& get off your high horse...
as it takes two to tango...
& a goblin should...
surely be your piece of cake!
<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Comb your kiss-curls...
& show the world...
you mean love!
If a saucy imp...
passes by...
kiss it off...
with the kiss of death...
& wait til...
you're given..
the magic pearl...
which will probably...
come from the mouth...
of a goblin girl?
[img]rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Come on mean business man...
does it look like i mean business?
Come on you serious coin...
depart with some worthy dough...
& show me up some of your success....
& i may fork out some...
priceless nonsense!
Just joking...popcorn brain...
go & plug yourself into...
a donkey's rump! <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" /> <img src="graemlins/haha.gif" border="0" alt="[ha ha]" />

[ 02-01-2003: Message edited by: Rumpelstiltskin ]</p>

[Rumpelstiltskin]

The Princess Of Quiche...
raised eyebrows...
with her legs
as all the old fuddy-duddy
men within eye-shot..
were hypnotised...
by her itsy-bitsy polka-dotted...
shocking pink tights.
They became a tribe of horns of dilemma...
as a hush-puppy pimp gave em' a dose of viagra...
before they knew it.
The whole event was completely out of tune...
as their eyes were tricked...
by a tranny granny...
posing in disguise!
What the heck...
the whole shebang was not...
a goer for them all..at all
as they were all off their rockers!
[img]rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Give me a pretty penny...
as i'm getting mousy!
Fork out for a weasel...
will you?
Blimey!I'm on zilch...
Mr Money Bags!
I guess that's the price...
you pay....for being a pixie!
Oh well...
the best things in life are free!
<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Blimey!Am i a lost cause?
This middle-of-the-road shit...
is doing my head in!
Got to be more familiar...
with the majority...
& straighten myself out....
& the mainstream....
will give me so much common sense...
that the dollars will really add up...
until i'm mean business!
Oops!Just joking...
i'm a no frills weasel...
raking in priceless nonsense!
<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Stand behind a weasel....
& put a squirrel on his shoulder!
Whisper.."goose",in his left-ear..
& put a gherkin in his holster.
Watch the weasel strut his showpony antics...
in front of a group on nincompoops who couldn't make it in any team.
He'll pop questions...all over the place...
& shield off unwanted answers...with his gobbledygook..gooOsey shield.
This will be one heck of an owly experience...so i advice you...
to put on your goose-boots & let yourselves go...like no chance to lose any favour at all....as there's no perfect picture to be had in this game!Be prepared to be goosed by a weasel! <img src="graemlins/haha.gif" border="0" alt="[ha ha]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

What is the meowy cat doing in the pantry?
It's probably also purring..itself....
all saucy on my mousy jerkin?
It's a real junk-cat...
& it really fancies...
my cosy garb!
It's not even my cat...
but it think's it knows where i'm at!
I should introduce it to some forgotten cheese...
& see if it likes that?
Does it really make any difference...what i do?
<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Blimey!I may aswell turn my hat inside out....
& see if it works in reverse!
I'll go from rags to riches....
as soon as i start putting on the ritz!
I'm an out-of-pocket scrapeskate weasel...
as money doesn't favour fools!
Come on fix a weasel will you!
Frig it!I'll pixy on...
mad as a hatter...
until you go funny in the head...
& mind the gap...
& fork out some real folding lettuce...
to a goose!
Are you with me....
or are you minding your own business?
<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Come on milk it hard....
Megabucks King!
Vaccuum it all in!
Make yourself count!
Go hard!
Go for a stonker!
Go for the kill!
Go for gold!
Nothing succeeds like success!
You need money to make money...
so make some more!
Know the score!
Think Big!
No be a weasel...
aim for the goose bucket!
leaf it out....
spare a rusty penny...
make no sense of it...
miss the point...
be a no-frills patron..
pay the goose out...
Go your way...
& keep my business to youself!
Oops!I'll win some money sooner or later...
& rhyme with the bingo...
lingo!
Oops!I've lost it....
but i'll sooner or later...
make sense of it all!
<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Love is where you find it....
so perhaps you'll find it....
in a stray rotten gherkin...
ready to be thrown at you....
by a hiddeous goblin gone wrong?
Why don't you try & make ends meet...
with a cheap sex poodle...
or wave your wand...
& hope a fuddy-duddy fiddle-sticks Cat Worzel...
plugs you into a heart-broken love machine....
which will make you even eat your own y-fronts...
whilst eyeing off a sexy guinea pig in a bikini.
Oops i suggest you get your gherkin out of that goblin's bum....
& run through the woods as a completely lost streaker! [img]rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Don't shake a stick at that weasel...
or he'll talk turkey!
Hold your nose...
& look the other way...
while hitting it off with a rooster!
Look at the sky!
What alot of birds!
Set yourself off...
keep an eye out...
for a kooky thistle...
& wish yourself...
as happy as a peacock...
& you might get as ripe...
as a cuckoo-clock! [img]rolleyes.gif[/img]

Oops keep missing letters! [img]rolleyes.gif[/img]

[ 02-01-2003: Message edited by: Rumpelstiltskin ]</p>

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!
What the big picture...
all really about?
Can you pinpoint the truth...
on the dot?
How many atoms...
dot it all together?
It all comes in many shapes & forms...
& there's just too many pieces...
to piece together.
Anyway my plate is presently full....
so i need to eat up some silence...
or just station myself as a fly on the wall! <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!Give me $10 & i'll give you a receipt! [img]rolleyes.gif[/img]