Rumple-Idiot Worship

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I Wonder If It Was A Goblin's Hair-strand?
============================================
A goblin once put a hair-strandin my left hand.
I looked at it
& saw it split
into a forkey end!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I Wonder If It Was A Goblin's Hair-strand?
============================================
A goblin once put a hair-strand
in my left hand.
I looked at it
& saw it split
into a forkey end!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Garage Sale
============
Garage sale
garage sale!
Tweezers,thimbles,
noses,baubles,twisties
& painted snails!
Come get a bargain!
Bargains,
bargains,
bargains galore....
Come & explore!
these bargains galore!
2 cents,3 pence,13 cents,4 cents!
Come buy a bargain
for sense
or no sense
or just for nonsense!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I Have The Best Snail In The Whole Wide World
=============================================
I have a snail worth a million dollars!
It even has a cute little collar.
It is a World champion snail
& it's definately not for sale!
It's worth more than 80 steamrollers!
It's as fast as a snail can get,
so if you're interested,place your bets
& try to win a million dollars!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh I Wished I Was A King!
=========================
I wished i could turn this trash
into cash!
I bet i don't sell a thing!
Oh!I wished i could be a King,
but this rubble
is only worth a pile of ash!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

God!Life's Expensive!
=====================
Life is an expensive quest!
I'm a poverty-stricken jester!
You need money
everytime you turn!
Some people have plenty
of money to burn!
I'm a second-hand man
that's as cheap as a dustpan
I thrive on thrifty bargains.
I look through any old bin.
I'm a filthy Harlequin!
My name is Crumbleforeskin!
There's nothing like a freebie!
There's nothing like something
for nothing!
I've got a free frisbee!
It didn't cost me anything!
Why does everyone
expect to pay for everything?
They'll pay for almost anything!
Crikey!Why did they have to
set up society
so it runs only on money?
It gives me permanent
anxiety!
It's not funny!
Give me some money
& i'll be funny!
Where has all the love
gone in the World
or is it in an Afterworld?
Crikey!I'm going to
the opportunity shop
to knock off a pair of socks!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

There Goes Mr Humpty Dumpty!
=============================
Higgledy Piggledy,
there goes Humpty Dumpty
ever so hurly-burly
with his hurdy-gurdy
hopping along
& singing a song
like Humpty Humpty
Dumpty,
all proud
& hoity-toity,
ever so keen now
to do the hanky-panky!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh Give Me Some Money $!
========================
Money is everything!
It will solve anything!
You can buy your way
ouy of trouble with money!
Money is God!
God is money!
Money will do anything!
Money makes money!
What won't money do?
People worship money!
Money opens every door!
Money governs the World!
Money talks!
Give me some money!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Notice My Hat!
==============
I can barely scrape
40 cents together!
I don't know whether
i'll ever escape
from being poor,
i'm pretty sure
of that,
so notice my hat
& feed it lots of money
& i'll continue
being funny!
Throw once!
Throw twice!
Throw three times
or even nine!
Just throw
everything
& anything
into my hat!
Come on!
I'm worth
more than nothing!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

The Jester Should Of Bought The King!
=====================================
There was a king
who had no money
but he did have a jester
who was very funny!
The King
was always on a shoe-string
but the jester didn't care
because he was a millionaire!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Feeling A Bit Dizzy Yet?
=========================
You must be out of one's elephant
or out of one's element!
You're pissed up to the eyebrows!
You're as pissed a s a newt!
You're completely poggled,
you pop-eyed
pisspot!
You've shellacked the goldfish bowl!
You're snozzled!
You're snoozamarooed!
I wish you'd get off the ground
& stop staggering around!
You stink
like a squished
fish!
You're swizzled
& swozzled!
I bet you've got fur
on your tongue!
You would make anyone
highly strung!
You're topsy-turvy
& topsy-boozy!
You're an oozy
whoozy
woggly womble-ty-cropt,
zigzag nitwit
that's completely zigzagged,
zipped,zorked,zonked,
zapped & zozzled!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh You're A Weak Weasel!
=========================
Oh!You wobbly weasel,
is that all you eat.....
bark weevils?
That's completely offbeat!
You must be weak!
Let's have an arm-wrestle
you pissy sissy pretzel!
Your arm will probably
break off!
Crikey!You smell off!
Ok!Let's wrestle
at the count of 3!
1....2.....3!
If you win
you will get a free
gherkin-pimple frisbee!
Crikey!How did you get me down?
Now i'll be down
with a frown
forever!
I may as well
turn my life upside down!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh You May As Well Keep On Guzzling!
====================================
All you ever do is guzzle
& play with jigsaw puzzles!
You're silly,
you're a nilly!
You're a poopy nincompoop!
Why don't you join
a chess group!
That's a bit more
exciting at least!
Oh God!You're always
sloshed!
You may as well
continue to fix
your puzzles
& guzzle
until you're all worn out
like a horrible pair of boots!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I Can Get Away With Anything?
=============================
If a cat can look at a king,
so can a jester!
I can get away with all
sorts of things!
I think i can get away
with nearly everything!
Oh....Crikey...the King
will almost let me do anything!
I can make a complete
mockery of jim
& he won't even move a limb!
I guess i have the gift of the gab?
I can even back-stab
the King
& nothing
will happen to me!
I'm free!
I think he sort of likes me!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Have I Had Too Much To Guzzle?
==============================
I don't think i know
where i'm at
because i can't even
hit the ground
with my hat!
I'm a little tipsy
topsy turvy!
I hope i don't get scurvy!
I've had some walnut whisky
& now i'm as frisky
as a shaking
weasel
wearing a skinny skivvy
inside out!
All i want to do is"Shout!",
but i might throwup
if i hiccup?