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Stiltskinny here againy!I remember being in Melbourne years back busking on Bourke St while wearing a kilt,boxing boots & hair in pony-tails with purple lips & eyebrows!Suddenly this cow cocky from Darwin with a big leather rodeo hat said"Are you a sheilah or a bloke mate!"Before i had time to answer.....he shoved his hand under my kilt & grabbed my nuts!What a fuckin' fruitloop!Sometimes i feel like i'm a bit of a fruitloop magnet!Siging Off Crumbleforeskin!
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I remember when i was about 14 my mother & step father & i were going travelling in my mum's green car up north around the hills & out of the blue......came this town called Nimbin!I thought"WoW!Check this joint out!Psychedelic murals all over the shop fronts & that!Gosh!"We came across adventures there without even trying!They came to us!
I thought i have to go back to this place some other time when we left!
When i was 15 or 16 i hitched over 6000 kms all over the place by myself in half a year!I made it back to Nimbim & met this older hippy lady at the Nimbin Neighbourhood Centre......& she said i could stay at her house for a couple of weeks...which i did!
While i was there i saw some Women's Weekly magazines lying around!This is my shame to fame.....here it comes!I learnt how to juggle out of a Women's Weekly magazine!I've got 3 chokos(really bland Ozzy light green vegetable)out of her garden & learnt how to juggle the buggers!I even ended up living in an octagon stone house run on a 12 volt battery in the hills of Tuntable Falls for a bit with about 15 other people!Crikey!The bush turkey's were a real laugh....well not for people's vegetables though!Gosh!Sime wild nights with luminous green mushrooms,glow-worms & fireflys whizzing about!I've even ridden my unicycle from Nimbin to Tuntable Falls & back quite a few times!It's 13 kms each way!One time i did it up hill with no moon & it was raining!Another time i did it up hill when it was 36 %!Gorblimey!I'm off!Comment
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When i was 12.....i was hanging out with some friend's late at night in Templestowe way out in the suburbs of Melbourne & we camping in the middle of a large roundabout in the middle of a cross section!There were even a few trees so we looked a bit hidden.It was cold so a friend & i went walkabout to see if there were any clothes hanging outside the local Brotherhood bin!When we got there....my friend said"Here i'll give you a boost so you can grab something!"He boosted me in.....& also when i was half in...he pushed me right in....legs & all as a joke!I was stuck upside....squashed...that i couldn't even wiggle my way out at all!How was i to weasel my way out of this one?I was upside down,banging on the Brotherhood bin,whilst completely wedged amongst the junk!I could hear him ouside relentlessly laughing...until it faded out.Moments later my hand touched some toy batery-operated police car....& a flashing red siren went off!Also coincidently i went a much louder police siren from outside the bin!The police came to the rescue & open the lid & pulled me out gradually by the feet & thought i was a fuckin' idiot!They took me to the police station in East Doncaster & called my mum!She came & collected me at 4.00 a.m. in the morning......from way over the other side of town!She wasn't so amused.....even though the whole thing was a little odd!Crikey!I'm Off!Comment
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Back again!I'm a born again weasel!I used to have a baby sitter called Henry who would squinch Vegemite sandwiches in my face!He would favour my sister & let her watch Wonder Woman when i'd want to watch The 6,000,000 Dollar Man!He would also drop me when giving me a piggy back!One day i was on the monkey bars in primary school & he unravelled my fingers until i hit the ground!I have scar under my chin still!Crikey!I made sure my parent's gave Henry the flick!
When i was 5 invited all these little rascals to my 5th birthday!I even got some green slime for a present...which i thought was great & we stretched this green slime all over the house....& jumped up & down all over the cushions & all.....with hundreds & thousands all over the place!It was such a wild party....i'll never forget!We totally trashed the place....& my mum went berzerk!I got a bit carried away on the chocolate crackles & nearly overdosed on them as i ate much more than i can remember....probably 35 or something!I was really really sick for days after that!Party on!Comment
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When i was a toddler......i somehow disappeared from my Grandmother's house.She was freaked out & didn't know where i was.She looked all over the place & i was no-where to be found!My auntie had this dog called Jedda who was a bit like Lassie.Strangley enough......Lassie(Jedda i should say) gave them a lead & my granny & aunty followed the dog out of the house & down a few streets & there i was still crawling!NO joke!I crawled out my cot & out of the house & down the street,into another street & another!Crikey!3 Cheeers for Jedda the wonder dog!Hip Hip Hooray by crikey!Comment
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Once i got done for stealing a nasal spray from a supermarket called Saveways!Gosh!Got a 6 mth behaviour bond for it!
I also nearly got done in Adelaide for stealing a 20 cents plastic bag from Myers.I was with a punk friend & we were followed right to the end of the mall & the police took us back to the office!We had to laugh as it was a bit ridiculous....which almost got us nicked in the bad books!Lucky we got let off in the end after a strip search!What's the coming to.....i even thought back then!Gosh?Comment
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Gimme Five!Mr Rumpity-Bumpity the pixie on a long bumpy ride here wishing you champions well for crying out loud!I'm on a hoiggledy-piggledy mission to find the Holy snail so i can be initiated into the tribe of long forgotten Oompah Loompahs.....somewhere in Oblivion!
It's a fair dinkum,fair square off the dial,off ya trolley,Pixitarian Whatever calling in here almost in solitary confinement with a keyboard with the letters G.O.S.E on them!Go GooOse,Go!Go GoOosE gO!Go,go,Go,gO,GO,Go,gO GooOse Go,GooOse Goes go go go,see GooOse go go,so go GooOse so go go go,go goooOse go,go geeese go GooOse go!
The first night i was in Bangkok,3 ladybird's try to carck onto me!The 2nd one was only about 13!The first looked alright....until i heard her deep voice!The last one....caught me by surprize when i was walking back to my room late that night...when i turned a corner!She said"Hi where are you from?"I said"Oz"She said"Oh Australia!WoW!I'm from Singapore!Can i go with you?"She then immediately linked her arm in mine & proceeded to walk me down the street!I unhooked myself & she even followed me right down the street until she went"Damm.....silly little boy!"& i quickly picked up the pace & got back to my room before she got me!
Crikey!The World's Twisted!Comment
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Oops here goes another........................................... ............P.S."GooOsE!"Comment
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There once was a tragic thimble-collecting,frisbee throwing fruitcake who made love to a heart-broken rhinoceros called Gertrude who was always in lethargic overdrive,probably from eating too many second hand moth's balls!They however had a lasting fling,until oneday Morris accidently choked on one of his thimbles,which unfortunately flipped Gertrude completely out!
DOt,dot,dot to dot,alot of dots to dot to dot!
Do you think i'm complete nonsense
Well i'm all eyes
& i'm all ears
well as for my nose
i suppose
i'm all sense
I'm complete nonsense
That's worth more than 6 cents!
There was a weather-beaten weasel
who ate too many gherkin cheezles
it made him sneeze
it made him weeze
Why did it give him the measles?
Ooops.......I have to go to a Sneezing Festival!Comment
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I sometimes wonder whether i should change my name as Rumpelstiltskin is a pre-conceived name & i don't closely associate myself with the character in the story all the way!I got the name when i was in Tasmania years & years ago!When i was 20 i think?I went to an Opshop(second hand shop) & straight away saw this picture of a weasel spinning straw into gold!I thought"That's me!"I just walked in & Rumpelstiltskin walked out with me!Great record!I still have it!
Another amazing time when i went opshopping was when i was in Melbourne years back!I bought a tacky violet nylon fabric cape,tacky bell bottom...off-colour....patchy flares & also a crass satiny minstrel top,kind of almost medieval 80's vibe to it & was happy with my scores from different op shops!When i got back i realized i left my plastic bag of clothes back in the op shop....but it was on the verge of closing so it wouldn't be open anyway!The next day i went back & they were all dressed up on the mannequin....in the display window....the cape,the top & the flares!I told the opshop ladies that they were mine but they didn't beleive me!They just wouldn't but my story at all!After struggling & struggling with the ladies they eventually gave them back to me with suspicion!Crikey!I never really felt so comfortable again when i was in there in times to come when the same ladies were on duty!You've got to fight for your rights when you're a friggin' weasel!CHeeers & all the jolly best by crikey!
[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 12-24-2001).]Comment
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GooOsE!Comment
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Oh no.....here i go again!My debut to the busking world was in King's Cross in Sydney!I wore a tacky tartan minstrel top,purple satin flares,platform shoes & hair in pony-tails while playing really bad made-up songs on the guitar.At one stage a whole group of bikies appeared & watched me as i proceeded to sing songs that sounded like they were coming from the juke box from Hell!They all started laughing that they were so bad!It's lucky that they found them amusing or else it could of been almost curtains for me!Anyway i'm falling asleep so cheeers for now & catch up with you on the next lap!Rumpel The Pumpernickle Pip-Squeak!
[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 12-22-2001).]Comment
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Thank you so much for your meandering tales of surreality and humour they have brightened us daggy lot stuck in Melbours ,theyve been both an inspiration to getting out of town and reality, love to you Rumperstltskinny,during this festive season .Comment
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2">Originally posted by Rumpelstiltskin:
Oh no.....here i go again!My debut to the busking world was in King's Cross in Sydney!I wore a tacky tartan minstrel top,purple satin flares,platform shoes & hair in pony-tails while playing really bad made-up songs on the guitar.At one stage a whole group of Hell's Angels appeared & watched me as i proceeded to sing songs that sounded like they were coming from the juke box from Hell!They all started laughing that they were so bad!It's lucky that they found them amusing or else it could of been almost curtains for me!Anyway i'm falling asleep so cheeers for now & catch up with you on the next lap!Rumpel The Pumpernickle Pip-Squeak!
[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 12-22-2001).]Comment
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2">Originally posted by Rumpelstiltskin:
Crikey!
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Rumpelstiltskin
[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 12-24-2001).]Comment
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