heckler lines for kids(rude Kids)

[Doctor Eric]

" I don't work on heckle lines I work on making my show stronger and tighter"

Congratulations. This thread is for heckler lines and lines for children, you are perfectly free to start a thread called "unsolicited advice" and post there.

[AJJames]

what?

what?

[Butterfly Man]

I am the kid whisperer!

I wonder how much emotional damage a child might incur while he watches his father knock an entertainer out after their show.

Maybe if you had stopped and corrected your child when you were supposed to the situation you created could have been avoided.

That's my unsolicited advice.

And if you don't like it I'll can always come over there and kick your ass.

[Evan Young]

Re: is that a heckle line?

Originally posted by AJJames
Really sophisticated man, you should try that line in manchester some time, I'd love to watch as they try to see if it works in reverse on the fuck wit american

Says the "sophisticated" Brit using blue language, a run on sentence, and bad punctuation.

[Doctor Eric]

Jim, there's something wrong with the forum code, every time I try to read one of AJ's posts, it just displays as
EGOinsecurityDADDYissuesEGOinsecurityDADDYissuesEG OinsecurityDADDYissuesEGOinsecurityDADDYissuesEGOi nsecurityDADDYissuesEGOinsecurityDADDYissuesEGOins ecurityDADDYissuesEGOinsecurityDADDYissuesEGOinsec urityDADDYissuesEGOinsecurityDADDYissuesEGOinsecur ityDADDYissuesEGOinsecurityDADDYissuesEGOinsecurit yDADDYissues...

Here's one, mostly for San Francisco

"You speak Spanish? And English? Great.

"I hate bilingual kids.

"You're six years old and speak two languages. I'm 29 and still work on a street corner, thanks a lot kid."

[jester]

I think threatening to hit a kid is bad. I think actually hitting somebody is even worse.

I think pretending to hit a kid is funny if it is done in a playful way. Everybody knows that hitting somebody is wrong.

Mr James, one day you may unwittingly do something under pressure that is rude or out of turn, would you really want to be decked for it?

Matt Richardson has not learned anything from you, except that you are a thug. Your son has seen thuggery endorsed by his father.

You have given away the moral high ground. However, you've done something Henry Kissinger never managed, you've made me agree with Dr Eric about something.

[scot]

I was just about to post exactly what Robert said.

now, back to the thread at large.

"you got out of the trunk... wait till I tell the ventriloquist."

"do you know what beastiality is? looks like your dad does. ask him."

"if you shut up you can grow up to be big and irresponsible like your parents."

"your dad's only punching me because he feels guilty for being a bad father."

"see how my shirt's all bloody, that's how mommy's panties should have been 6 years ago."

"when daddy goes to jail, it's only because he doesn't love you."

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Originally posted by Doctor Eric
" This thread is for heckler lines and lines for children, you are perfectly free to start a thread called "unsolicited advice" and post there.

Ahem. I'll refrain from mentioning flaming rubber chicken threads, because you two are posting some damn funny lines here.

Jesus, AJ, when was the last time you saw "funnier than thou" work?

When my daughter was two, it took me about five seconds to explain to her how to behave at a live show.
She had been talking out of turn during someone's act at the time. If she had been a difficult child, it might have taken longer. Still, its much less effort than punching someone.

[Guest]

Re: be careful

So he DIDN'T hit anybody, and you DID hit him...sure you're not a Yank?

I thought martial arts were s'posed to teach self-control.

Originally posted by AJJames
I would urge people to be extremely careful using agression to entertain people, its not big and its not clever as matthew richardson aka mat retardo found out the other day
, i saw a 6 year old kid sort of heckling mat retardo, just smiling and saying boo, recently, the response was to march up agressively with hand raised as if to strike him, it was outragously agressive and un proffessional, the heckle lines used were , if you do that again i will kick you, and everybody hear hates you, we all hate him don't we?

what he didnt know was it was my kid,

so after the show , i knocked him out , i can't believe i had the self control to wait till the end of the show, i can't believe i actually gave him the opportunity to appologise.

he was really cocky and it was so satisfying to wipe the smile off his face, he thought that the his audience would protect him, because three or four guys stood between me and him when i warned him that i would deck him, so i had to take him out Ong Bak style. wish i had the cctv footage, would make an ideal xmas present for any one who knows him

[AJJames]

out of character

Thanks for the comments,

[Stephon]

Re: out of character

Your post would sound more contrite, AJ, if you hadn't sounded so proud in your first post.

And by your own description, your son was heckling. His behavior was out of line.


bloody panties. . .damn, that was funny, scot

[AJJames]

proud

I am proud that I make my living from entertaining and educating children and not bullying them in a humourish manner.
funny that

[Peter]

Re: out of character

Originally posted by AJJames
Thanks for the comments,
hi, look you don't know me,
I just had a really traumatic extreme situation happen to me, I am a little sensitive right now, please take it easy ,I am a parent of a 6 yrold boy and a six month old girl ... please don't kick my ass.

AJ, There is a difference between a parent, or an adult whichever term you perfer, and a 6 year old. The 6 year old reacts to an "extreme situation." An adult steps back and thinks things through before responding to an "extreme situation.

Seems like there is no difference between you and your child. Oh, BTW, I have 6 kids, 13 grandchildren and 1 great-grandson so I do have some experience with raising kids.

[jayrodin]

Lean in really close and put your hand on the kids shoulder. "Alright, I know you must be going through puberty right now, your body is changing, and this is a very exciting time for you. You’re experiencing all these new feelings and thoughts and they can be confusing and they can make you act a little funny sometimes, and I’m not sure but I think this may be what is happening right now. You see, you think by acting all tough and trying to ruin my show it makes you look cool but none of these people think you look cool right now, infact you look very uncool, and everyone is very annoyed with you. If you would like to continue watching then please take a seat and enjoy the show but if you feel you cannot control these urges right now I think it would be best if you would leave. Run along now, bye bye."

I was watching a movie a while back and a group of kids in the next row were being super obnoxious and I just blurted something like that out. It shut them right up. Please sharpen it up a bit if you like.

[Evan Young]

14(ish) year old girls in groups can be annoying, and are probably my bigist problem if they start harassing me. I underestimate their age by a few years and say.
"It's okay, I remember what it was like to be 11, it's hard, keep it comming." then you ignore them.

they scoff, yell out their real age as if anyone cares and will soon leave, trying to look like they arn't embarressed. if there are there with any guys the guys will laugh. it has NEVER failed me.



it helps if preface by niceley asking if they are going to be making sarcastic comments that arn't funny for the rest of the show.