heckler lines for kids(rude Kids)

[AJJames]

fair enough

fair enough peter, I thank you for you words of wisdom, I am still young and impetuous, instinctive,
i can only reiterate, i have been in many extreme situations and never reacted like that, i am 31 and have only done that once
and i am not proud i reacted like that

[Stephon]

Re: proud

Originally posted by AJJames
Has anyone noticed that the people having a go at me are none parents and no one having a go at me actually knows mat ricardo funny that

Butterfly Man is a parent. Taxi said he has a daughter. I am a parent, and I know for a fact that others who posted are parents.

My child knows how to behave in an audience. As a performer, I feel there is no excuse for my child not knowing what is and isn't acceptable at someone else's show.

And knowing or not knowing Mat(t) is immaterial--you are not responsible for his behavior, you're responsible for your own and your child's.

[scot]

My favourite Daniel Packard heckle line: "Crouching heckler, hidden agenda"

"Be good or santa will bring you AIDS"

"Could you please have a moment of silence for (name a tragedy)" then, if they interupt again, "Have you no respect for the dead? shh!"

[jayrodin]

I don't agree with punching people and yes AJ should've corrected his kid but come on guys. I think he's admitted he was wrong and yall seem to be saying the same thing over and over again now. If you need to, go call me stupid in my fire eating thread some more.

I like the Santa will bring you AIDs line.

The fire eating is coming along great by the way. Don't think I'll be performing it much ever really though...

[AJJames]

ok

"sorry i don't speak pubic"

j-p's line i think

[scot]

You guys are spoiling a good thread. Punch all the people you want and eat fire. Just do it somewhere else.

[seagull]

I heard Johnny Cash use this once at a prison gig:

"I sorry I couldn't hear you, I was talking."

Works pretty good with kids too...

[Doctor Eric]

It's not a heckler line, but I was using this for a while...

I had a joke with the word douchebag in it, when I'd get the "OOOHHHH!" I'd say this

"Come on parents, how would any of your kids know what that is? Look..."

I'd walk up to a five-year-old

"Do you know what the word 'douchebag' means?"

He'd shake his head "No"

"It means 'The Greatest Father in the World', is your Daddy a douchebag?"

nods

"Go ahead and tell him then..."

"Daddy, YOU'RE the DOUCHEBAG!"

[jayrodin]

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!" then stick your toungue out and wiggle your arse.

It's an oldy, but a goody.

[theincrediblelarry]

Kids, this show is sponered by broccoli, so eat it!

[jesus]

I dream of a world where we all use all of the same lines.

[jesus]

Towing the Party Line

'You're the reason some species eat their young."

[gav]

I know Aj, I've met Mat on a few occasions.
AJ is actually a very decent guy. Mat comes across as a very 'dark' person. I couldn't comment further except to say that in my opinion a line like 'if you don't shut up I'll kick you' is unliikely to come across as comedy from him.

You all mostly seem to be missing one point which is AJs' son wasn't acting out of line because Mat had solicited the boos from the crowd. AJs son simply was a little more enthusiastic than the others probably because being a performers son he had learnt that it's good to support the wants of the performer you're watching. For this he was threatened with violence.
Not funny or clever.
If you're having to heckle kids in your show so much that you need a whole bunch of lines for it, to me it seems that there is probably something wrong with your show.
Don't forget you perform your show in a public place for everybody that happens to be around. If you don't want to keep kids as well as adults entertained, than you should move indoors and inforce an age limit on entry.

Don't pay out on little kids just because they are enjoying the show in a way that you don't like.

[gav]

Living where I do, i rarely have any trouble with kids in the show. In fact I just finished 5 days of work in Serbia where the kids have far more respect for adults thatn they do in most places I've been.
If I do ever have any trouble with them I simply say ' parents please take responsibilty for your children. If you don't, I'll sell them to the Gipsys.The next time you see them they'll be 35 and doing what I do for a living only without shoes and success.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Gav,

We're enjoying posting and reading heckle lines for kids.; this doesn't mean any of us are heckling kids so much that we need a bunch of lines for our shows, but thanks for the educative tip.

Saturday, partially out of thoughts from this thread, I blurted out "Who is raising these monsters?" Very big laugh, actually, except for two people.