heckler lines for kids(rude Kids)

[scot]

You would be perfect for my mulcher

Why don't you go play Dance Dance Revolution?

Do you pay those kids to hang out with you, or are they really stupid?

Go to Deja Vu and you'll see what grown men see every night. Your mom.

Go get a straw and some foil and I'll show you how babys like you are born.

[jester]

Hey Eric

Hey Eric

Dream On!

[mini mansell]

insecurities

based upon the insecurities of teenage boys.


shut up big nose
shut up spotty.
hey fat boy. shut up.


tends to silence them

[The Amazing Beaumanz]

Since we work next to a playground, and i had an extremely obnoxious 11-13 year old heckler, i recently used:


"hey kid, if i hear one more word out of you, I'll tell everyone here i wittnessed you eating a booger on the playground!"

Audience loved it (they were just as agitiated as I) and the kid shut up!

[scot]

"there's a reason your parents don't give you rules. They want you to die."

[Dan Tastik]

"there's a reason your parents don't give you rules. They want you to die."

brilliant.

[zoobie]

I'd hate to see stupid

I'm sure parents won't appreciate these...but you'd have to be a parent to understand

Nothing like shooting yourself in the foot

[Keith Eveslage]

To an over enthusiastic kid who keeps talking over you lines -- "Do you want to help me? Be quiet! that will be helpful."

For a magician when confronted with " I know how you do that." -- "Well don't tell any one now when you can sell it to them later."

and scot, did you mean "(non attacking) "Yeah, 'you suck.' Really funny until you have to make IT a living."

K!

[Pyromancer]

Ok, this is gonna make me look stupid, but what is a booger? Looked it up, but my dictionary doesn's show slang?

(And forgive me, I read in the paper today that dutchmen are a lot worse in foreign languages as they always asume)

[Doctor Eric]

a dried up piece of mucous that takes up residence in your nasal passage.

Lately I've been taking out time in my show to kneel down and explain the way of the world to a small child.

"Hey kid, shut up.

"God, that's not going to work, at this point you probably think that's your name.

"Look, I'm pretty sure I can take you.

"I'm serious. Don't screw with me, I live under your bed.

"You have to understand, I've been doing these shows for years, and one thing I know for sure, is that if I drench you in gasoline, and light you on fire, all of these people will clap."

[Pyromancer]

I like the last line...

[scot]

I meant "Yeah, 'you suck.' Really funny until you have to make a living." as if they will learn that making a living is tough.

"You should watch more TV. Right now."

"I hope you catch SIDS"

"Go play cops and suicide bombers."

"You're here early. tomorrow's trash day"

"I know your parents aren't going to pay me."

"When passover comes, make sure your door's clean."

"This feels like the begining of a TV reenactment"

"shouldn't you be bleeding?"

"parents, buying the right toys can prevent this kind of birth."

[AJJames]

be careful

I would urge people to be extremely careful using agression to entertain people, its not big and its not clever

[jayrodin]

I agree. I don't see how that could be funny in any case if the kid was only 6. I rarely ever attack the kid himself but make cracks about bad parenting or peuberty although humiliation is very usefull in extreme cases but it's always playful never forceful or spiteful. Whatever you do I think it's a bad idea to get frusterated infront of the audience.

[AJJames]

re.family environment

I just read the other pages on this thread and want to just say respect to the USA Breakdancers, for their take on the subject.