Rumpelstiltskin GooOse Worship! VOLUME 2

[Rumpelstiltskin]

MERRY NEW YEAR!
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For crying out Friggin' gooOse-pimples!It was like a cosmic war-zone.....here in Amsterdam.....for the Turn-Over.....as i crusaded through all streets full of colourful explosions....through Sex-O-Ramas-Ville & beyond!It's a bit freaky....as it's unpredictable....with all these whizz-bangers & cosmic-explosives...going off all over the joint....& also alot being thrown by potseyed people left,right,up & down & anywhere?THank God!I wasn't wearing my jester's outfit....as people don't have much sensitivity in these situations & they'd throw them right behind you....just to scare you out of your living daylights!I know as a few year's ago i crusaded through the cosmic-war-zone in full jester's regalia with a bag of nonsense...whilst riding a unicycle all over the place!They would throw em' on your trail....as a jester....would be an obvious target for them to get their rock's(should say rockets)off for the New Year!
Anyway i'm going to party hard & pop a part-popper!Merry 2002! P.S.GooOse!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Gosh!What a way to go!Some Iranian bride somehow got her husband's fingernail...stuck in her throat & choked to death!What a way to go!
I bet there is someone in this World that would of died by getting hit by a car door whilst riding a bicycle & looking at a pretty girl!
To die from 1 single mosquito really would be a drag!
My friend once told me....that he was out in the Outback of Australia & he was almost on the verge of collapsing & he saw a cockroach......& ate it!It gave him enough sustenance to get by....& carried on through!If it hadn't of been for that cockroach......God knows what would of happened?

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Godblimey!Most of the time i go to the Male's toilet i have to wipe the toilet seat round & round in circles(ovals)as half the time they can't piss straight!I always get 2 lines of toilet paper & put it on both sides before i sit down!I don't want to get scabies or something!
It's a real drag when you discover there is no toilet paper!Somehow....we all mange to get by!Well the Krshna's don't even have toilet paper when you eat at their Temple!
Also it is a part of Indian culture not to eat with their left hand....as it's the one they use to wipe themselves after going to the toilet!HAve i got the hands right?Maybe it's the right?
Anyway i better no write anymore so Toodleloo! P.S.I wonder how much of a story i could write on a roll of toilet paper or an unrolled lollipop stick?P.S.

[Rumpelstiltskin]

It's weird.....when you're out for the night.....at some party or something & coincidently your fly goes off the track...& then it is kaput.....so you can't do the bugger up!Also the pants i'm wearing now....(as they're about 8 year's old)....i have to keep constantly doing the fly up!I'll have to try & find a safety pin somewhere!
Maybe that's why people can sometimes laugh at you?I usually think it's the voice!Sometimes you totally get it all wrong!Anyway signing Off Mr Wrong!I'm going to the Wrong Shop to by some more pants.....or maybe i should buy another fly?P.S

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Gorblimey!I remember i went to a horrbile Marist Brothers Catholic School once....& i couldn't stand it!I uncle advised my dad that it would be good discipline for me!My dad wasn't exactly well off either!
One day my name got called over the school loud-speaker & i had to go & see the head-master!THe headmaster told me that the student's complained that i stank!Well i never had showers so often....& was alwys late to school!Ontop of that he said that i should iron my clothes....as they were as scruffy as Hell.I wnet back home & threw a tantrum....as i hated the school & ripped all my school uniform to pieces!Surprisingly my sister's friend was a very good seamstress & sowed them back together again!Crikey!
I was always on detention at this school & would have to write hundreds of repetitive lines out over & over again!I eventually came up with a system of getting 10 pens together so 1000 would be 100.I would totally take the piss in class & say.."Give us another 1000 for Christ's Sake!"
THe class would roar with laughter....thinking a was an oddball!
Anyway what the heck!
Another that horrible school....i was sent to another boarding school in the country...in Western Victoria & i hated it!I was there for a whole year....until i eventually ran away & hitched 300 kms back to Melbourne!
Cadets was compulsory there......& i just wasn't into it at all.You would have to spend so much time marching in a platoon at that....on cadet days & it would bore me to Hell!We would train for months in the build up more the Annual Ceremonial Parade Day!All the school would do this huge big Cadet show....with so many different platoons!
There was also quite a nbit of preparation to do....for it...like ironing your clothes & getting your boots so polished up that you could see your face shine of them.
When we were...ready to march onto the oval for the bid day....i was in a real scramble to hurry up...& everyone was getting pissed off with me....in my platoon!Eventually we just marched onto the oval...& made our prsence & the bottom of my pants fell over the top of my gaters as if i was wearing daggy pants!Also i couldn't get in step!When we were all out in the middle of the oval......our platton master would say"Arrivior dare(something like that).....15 paces forward",& then say"HAlt!",& we would all have to halt!
I would then notcie that i was too far out....as everyone would be together!THis kept happeniing co-incidently!Also when we all had to do a lap of the oval & then acknowledge the officials as we passed by them....i would forget to salute them!THis really drove my whole platton nuts & they wanted to have me.....as i fucked up the day for them....after all this preparation & our platton ended up getting the lowest score for the whole day!Oh well!What the heck!No-one is perfect!I knew i would never become a soldier!I guess by being a school oddball....evolving into a jester was a natural transition!I guess i still was a jester even without the costume!Sometimes it's a fine line between a jester & a fool because they are pretty much....a much of a muchness!I am a fool & a Classical Archetype Costumed jester all in one!P.S.I should of been born with spring-shoes on......& with a kangaroo's body & a jester's hat on!JUst joking?

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I remember earlier last year.....i was at the beach with a couple of friend's in Australia & i pulled my friend's undies down....right in the open for a laugh!
In return he quickly poured water on the end of his towel & gave me the tea-towel...right on the arse..with a thwack ever so hard that the sting....gave me the reddest rash of goOose-bumps...you've ever seen in your life!
It certainly gave him the total hysterics that he almost could of died in a fit of laughter.....which eventually got me...laughing like a GoOose aswell!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I remember when i was 5 i went down some back street lane & saw a rat in the corner of a wall!I picket it up & the bugger bit my on the end of the pinky finger & it was hanging off my finger while i was screaming!That was a real freakout!I didn't know what i was in for!THe bugger let go....& it hurt to friggin Hell!Oh well!I learnt my lesson! !

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Gosh!I was in the Portuguese Azores in September last year.....at some clown festival....& i lost my squeaky crab after the Gala Show!I did well in the show....but my squeaky crab went to the Azores!At the end of the show we had to all bow & run out in the aisles & to the front of the theatre!I just wanted to stay & retrieve a few of my remaining props hiding behind the ballons on the stage!I had to go with the other clowns & when i got back to the stage....i figured the kids nicked my toys left behind!Someone said they saw a little girl with my squeaky crab....but by that stage it was too late!Crikey!The little one's can be thieves without even realizes it!I also had all my snakes that cames out of my exploding snakes tin...nicked by the kids when i was in Switzerland busking once!Also another time i had...some kids tear my snakes apart when they exploded at another festival!Crikey!The Show Must Go ON!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh sorry i forgot to mention that also at this festival in THe Azores.....i realized that i lost a corner on my trunk...but i few days after i arrived.It must have got lost on the plane or the conveyer-belt!When i was leaving the Azores i went to the lost & found room & asked them if they had seen a corner!They msut of thought i was off my trolley!"What they said!"(well they could peak English at this luggage place).I said "Have you seen a corner!",& then added"Off my trunk!"...No luck though!
Anyway i'm going!Toodleloo!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh Crikey!I think we would all be shocked if we all knew the real truth of what is going on in this World!It would be too unreal to read the real writing between the lines!Money talks!The World's a fucken disaster!Worship media hype if you want to be fooled...but if you're a truth seeker...make up your own mind!It's all a circus....but not in the best possible taste!We want Ronald!We want Ronald!We want Ronald!The truth hurts!What's popular isn't always so positive....but i guess it's easier for alot of people that way!What a World!It's just too depressing when you try to analyse it in full!It's good to have an awareness...but not let it totally drown out your sense of humour!Life certainly is a tragic-comedy!I guess everything has it's good & bad points.....so there is also....an abundance of positive things out there to focus on!I guess we've all got to do the best we can!It's embedded into the animalistic instinct of all species on this Planet to wipe each other out(have i said it right?)!Maybe it's all just un-naturally natural?Inorganically surreal?I must confess though...that human nature these days.....is getting more & more isolated from nature!Just about the whole human race is paradoxical?I'm lost!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I can't believe it sometimes when you're at someone's house which is almost spotless & they complain what a pig-sty it's in!It's amazing!They must spend all their life cleaning.....like a real powder puff...relentlessly dusting away every single spec...everso spic-&-span!
Also i can't believe these people who end up renting an absolute huge studio space & only fill it with one art deco vase & a bed,table & chair...& then paint all the walls white!What a waste of space!I guess some people have alot of money to play around with!
Anyway have a nice day!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

It's weird those times when you've been awake for more than a day & you're really tired & your vision starts to get surreal & then you catch a red & blue striped billboard or something & then you feel like you're on one!
You should see the old new 10 guilder note here in Holland after being awake for more than 24 hrs & catching it under a fluroscent light at a nightclub!My God!What a flippin' eye twister! I did this once!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I remember when i was about 11 & i was at the beach with my mum & sister & as we were leaving & lining up to get out via the stairs...we noticed an old man standing there whilst reading a book...not knowing his dick was hanging out the one side of his shorts!Of course this sight made quite a few people laugh....but he wasn't even paying attention to the laughing!Gosh!People can sometimes be funny without even realising it sometimes!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I once had this German baby-sitter who went totally ape at me because i accidently flung a rubber-band at her!She chased me down the hall of the house & i quickly shut my bedroom door to sheild myself from her!My sister & i put the wardrobe against the door....but she pushed the door so hard...that the wardrobe fell ontop of us both!Lucky we both didn't get knocked out!The German baby-sitter was expelled after that....as we lagged her into our parents...& they gave her the flick!Hip Hip Hooray for us!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Who's with me?
Have you had enough of this Pixy Shit?