Rumple-Idiot Worship

[martin ewen]

Peter panic's asked for more stories on Rumple.
I wondered if we might collect them all in one spot.
At least the titles.
Pete mentioned
The one about the 18 hour show
The one about british customs and hat as proof of income.
I can add
The one about being turned back at the (now defunkt) Czek border for among other things, wearing a false nose.
The ones about abandoning large audiences while he goes in search of things.
I know nicks got a bundle.

[em]

Hi Martin
where are ya?
hopefully rumpold is gonna tell us the stories himself, cos they gotta come from the pixies mouth to really get the full impact!
see you soon??
em

[Dead Wood Records]

It's about time Rumple came into the limelight Iv'e met him quite a few time and the last time I saw him was a few weeks ago at the Rotterdam Juggling fest, I was playing music to get em rocking a bit.

Aparently he did a twenty four hour non stop show there.

Rumpole just appeared from no-where which is what he normally does any-way. The tear before He stayed with us and we had a couple of great days with him, but as you all know you have to move him on because he can be a pain in the arse, but also great company.

He's definately not as stupid as he acts, he gets all around the place and he has no doubt played in places we would never have dreamed of.

He's a bloody hero and I have quite a few stories about him, he's an exellent artist and if you havn't set eyes on his book of noses they you haven't seen anything yet.

His pen drawings of Jesters and Characters made out of clocks and things are absolutely
wonderfull.

I've promised to help him make a book out of them but he's never around for long enough to get things organised. He's always loosing things, leaving everything till last minute.

He's a hell of a guy and the first time I saw him bouncing around on his springy shoes was in Sydney ( Circular Quay ) five years ago.

I have Rumpoles private e.mail address if you want to contact him.

Trevor Rooney

PS: He does check his e.mails periodically!

[Noel]

I think I can probably say that I've never met another street performer (apart from brand new ones), who didn't know who Rumple was.

He can turn up anywhere, no matter how unlikely it seems, and to be honest, I don't think I'd be surprised to see him wherever I was.

I think the topic heading 'Idiot Worship' is unwarranted though. The guy goes everywhere, his publicity material is great, and you can't say that he doesn't really live the part. Plus, he's a nice guy.

After some debate, I've come to the conclusion that he's a genius, although I can't remember how.

[Peter Voice]

This was in this months Artmedia newsletter from Alan Clay.

"Hello Alan it's Rumpelstiltskin here in London wishing you all well and all!! Crikey! Have been doing a few fests here & there! Did the Comedian's Feast in Romania a few mths back which was fun....well hard strange fun work! Also did a 24 hr non-stop jestering stint at the European Juggling Convention in Holland a couple of weeks back, in the No Fit State Circus Tent. Crikey! I would really like to do the Circomedia Circus course in Bristol England which starts in late September but i simply don't have the money! It costs £4175 for 10 mths! Does anyone have any suggestions for swift funding or whatever so i can make this course a reality? Please let me know a.s.a.p if you have any hints!" Cheeers & best regards Rumpelstiltskin. The Worldly Kangaroo Jester Of Oz! Crikey!"
pixiejester@yahoo.com

The Artmedia newsletter is a beauty, it's free and you can subscribe at http://www.artmedia.com.au

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!Put your hands up if you think i'm a GooOsE!I'm going to do a 43 hour show next year at the Festival Of Nincompoops,providing that there is an on-stage kitchen,shower,bar,bed & toilet!Signing Off The Worldly GooOsE Of Geeese!P.S.Oops!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

P.S.GooOsE!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Gorblimey!When i was in Instanbul....i met a lovely black girl.....who invited me to check out some belly-dancing in some venue near the famous old blue mosque!When i was outside the mosque......i saw a big dog in the bushes....& thought"i'll be alright!"i turned my back on it and the sneaky bugger came up from behind & bit me fair square in the left leg!Crikey!Getting bitten in in the left leg by a wild German shepherd in Turkey is a bit of a culture shock!Signing Off The GoOosey Weazel!Gosh!Maybe i'll just write 3 trillion write ups,write now!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Oh crikey!I arrived at a town in Romania on the train & some attractive girl came to my assistance as i got off......& then my silly wheel rolled right off my trolley straight away!What a drag!I had to get my bearings together & fix it up on the spot!Gosh!I've got 4 minutes to finish this marathon story!I'll never finsih it in time!I looked all over this town to get bits for me silly gooOse of a trolley...to get it rolling again!Gosh!53 seconds.......i have to go by crikey!Oops eyrh GooOsen GoOOse euoioeinn2u388u8u8ji3k342%566%768*(U8HHt^&67t*
(&8yu*&8u9uiui8&XxXXx?/:;")(8*&727y&72
t76t67T^&t62t6t^T672 P.S Oops!3 seconds!



[This message has been edited by Jim (edited 12-27-2001).]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I arrived at some town in Romania by train....& some attractive lady,a friend of the festival organisation came to greet me & as i went to wheel my silly trolley....tone of the wheels rolled right off!"What a gooOse i am!",i thought!All the bearings fell out of the wheel so i got the buggers together & temporarily fixed it...which surprisingly worked for a bit!Gorblimey!I went all over town trying to get bits to do a makeshift fix....but the silly trolley wheel kept falling off!THen another one fell off!I had to carry to trolley around & get helpers at time to help me carry the wretched thing!Gosh!I must of looked like a nincompoop in full jester's regalia carrying my silly trunk around the place....in Romania!Oh crikey!I've got 101 trolley stories!I personally think the 4-wheeled granny trolley's in Australia would have to be the Roll's Royce of granny trolley's!
Oh golly gosh!There's 3 minutes left.......it's a marathon of a story to get through..........arh....crikes....!I ended up doing eight 50 minutes shows...........ect!When i got to Hungary....Budapest......the trolley finally collapsed.....& i had to carry my gear to the left luggage!Luckily i haggled like a weasel for another trolley off some lady selling socks on the street jsut in the nick of time before my train was leaving!What a fluke!Golly......OoOps running out erh ^5$#234%56279)@&!+"':.?/17^hGY7898H
!*8!*&7&7167Y717Y871097^!^6!&7Y177h!
*8799*!OoPs!P.S.?



[This message has been edited by Jim (edited 12-27-2001).]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!I lost the other trolley story....& now it get's found again!I had 2 tickets left with about 5 minutes on each!Now i can go forever on this unlimited ticket!Gosh!I wouldn't mind an Unlimited International food voucher someday!I'm almost living on a diet of red & green velvet!I'm a breatharian barbarian!Mr Puniverse The GooOse!
The all time worst busking story i've ever had is absolutely nuts!I went 2500 kms from Sydney to Cow Bay(way up north past Brisbane) to make it to a 1 day festival..with my granny trolley,unicycle & guitar(even hitched quite a bit)..& then i missed the last ferry over the crocodile river by a minute & a half on the other side of Cow Bay.....& had to sleep behind a tree with drunks roaming around town all night!I got up the next morning & got the ferry.....but the whole festival was over!Gorblimey!I'm a fool!To break even i thought i'd try & do some busking at the Port Douglas markets a few days later & set up outside some old geezers stall with a long white beard.....& i went for about 2 minutes & he said "Look mate!Fuck Off!"I said to the audience "should i keep going!"He said again"Look mate!Just Fuck Off!"I thought"Crikey!"....Again & again he kept going everytime i went to utter some nonsense!Gosh!Everyone wanted me to keep going.....but i bailed it & made $2!I ended up going back to Sydney soon after as i was in a hurry to get to my friend's 80th birthday party.....Harold The Kangaroo!He's an artist that's painted from head to toe & painted the 1st Bulldog Cafe(which is supposed to be the first)coffee shop in Amsterdam in the red light district.He helped promote the McDonald's of coffee shops.......& it's a paradox as he's never smoked pot in his life.He hired a stripper for his 80th birthday bash...& some school made him a tacky cake with ugly blue icing!He charged at his cake....put his hand in the air & said"da da....i'm 80!"I did some gooosing about at his party which was fun!All in all i went 5000 kms for $2!The things you have to do for 2 bucks!No wonder i have to do a 24 hour show to do a good hat!Maybe i'll do the biggest hat of all time oneday but it will probably take me 83 hours to do it!I'm gonna do it by crikey!Signing Off Crumbleforeskin The Jestering Marathon GooOseweasel!Maybe i should hurry up & become a transvestite jester with a rooster sidekick called Henry & not to forget Ethyl the Mexican walking fish!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Years ago i was ontop a steep hill in my dad's red Mazda 626 & was fooling around with the handbrake!I pushed it & the car rolled down the hill a bit & then pulled it back & it stopped!I thought i'd try & be a little bit tricky & said"Hey dad check this out!"He folded his arms & smiled from across the street & i pushed the handbrake & the car rolled down the hill a bit.I pulled the handbrake back....but for some reason the car didn't stop!I sort of froze....& i saw the car really picking up pace!I was in the left hand side.....& then it eventually stacked into a Mercedes Benz tow-bar!The front of my dad's car crunched up like a squeeze box accordian!All the neighbours came out to see what all the racquet was about!My dad got down the hill & opened the door & said "You're Fucked!"It was so terribly funny that i burst out into tears laughing!I couldn't help myself!My dad certainly didn't let me off lightly as it wasn't insured!I'm Off like a stinky goblin's cough!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

My mum once picked me up from school!I went to a school called Karajong(which is a Koori name)for a few years when i was younger.It was a really hot day & as she was driving,i went to wind the window down.....but clumsily miscued the winder & fell out!She said "Did you have a nice day at school today!"No response!Again she said"Did you have a nice day at school today!Still no reply!Eventually she looked around & saw the door wide open & then saw me lying on the road with skid marks on my dacks out of the rear vision mirror!Oh well what the heck!No one is perfect!P.S>GooOsE!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Hello it's Mr Rumpity-Bumpity here sending greetings!Oh no not another story!I'm on one!Another time years ago i was going to Kensington Community School in Melbourne & i had fully painted clothes.....top-to-toe & had rainbow coloured dredlocks & pixie shoes on!I was riding my mountain bike down Mt Alexander Parade as fast as i could & all of a sudden some Asian bloke opened his car door!The bike hit his door at full impact....but i flipped right over his window....& scraped my arm along the ground!A huge semi-trailer nearly ran over me......almost within a bee's whisker.A humungous fat truckie with hairy shoulders got out & yelled"No wonder you look like that ya Fuckin' Clown!"& got back in his truck & took off!The Asian guy embraced me & said"Are you alright!"I said "yeh!"& picked up my new bent wobbly bike & carried it to school!What the heck!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Years back i nearly bought a second-hand clown car back in Oz!I rang up & said i don't quite have the money yet but i think it will go well with my character.I said i ride a unicycle & i'm a clown!He said"Stick that unicycle up your arse & hang up!"I rang back a little later....& said"No I'm not joking!That clown car sounds ace....what can i do"!He said "okay....i'll let you put it on lay-by!I bumped into a friend a bit later & coincidently by fluke he lent me some dosh!Another friend drove me over to the place where the clown car was.....as i gave him money for petrol.When i got there....the owner said "How do you like it?"I said"Yeh...it's good by golly!"He showed me through all the features.It was 2 halves of different tiny cars & would rock from side to side when driven....as well as having off-centre wheels so it would rock & wobble.It was cosmically painted with bright colours & had silver stars & circles & a sun-roof & you wind it up at the back & it like a Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang car.It also had a parade licence & about 70 large glossy photos with it all for the price of $600.I thought this will blend into Nimbin(Nimbin is a hippy town in the North East Coast Of Oz.There was an Aquairius Festival there 27 odd years ago or so )like a psychedelic dreamI said it's a real piece!I'll take it!He said there is only one problem"It's Sold!"I said"What!"Another bloke came out & said"Yeh!It's mine!Just bought it!Sorry!Too late!"I couldn't beleive he sold it on me when he said he'd save it for me...as i got there...which wasn't so long after!THey walked back into the house & i stood at the door....saying"That's not right!"The bloke who bought it....gave me his card & said"If you ever want to hire it here's my number!"I couldn't beleive the whole scenerio!I took the card & left!Some days later i rang up the bloke he bought it & said"Do ever want to sell it!"He said"Maybe oneday...try some other time!"While having his feet up listening to the races!Again i rang up a while later & asked the same question!Some girl answered the phone & said you're not Rumpelstiltskin......I know who you are!Stop hassling my father!"I said"Who are you?"She said"I'm not going into details but i used to go to school with you!"I said"What!"& she said"We're gonna sell it to the Moscow Circus for $4800!"& that was that.Year's later i was walking down Swanston st in Melbourne & a girl jumped out of a music shop called Dynasound & said"Hi!Remember me?"I said"Oh yeh!You used to go to school with me!"She said"That right!I am the girl who's father bought the clown car!Well you know what happened!It didn't go to the Moscow Circus after all!I was working in some circus brushing the animals...& elephants etc...& some chap wanted to trade the clown car for a camel....so i did!Now i have a camel on my dad's property!"I said "You're joking?"She said"NO i'm not joking?!THat was that & i never saw her or the clown car ever again!I have got a photo of it still somewhere!Anyway see you laters!
Gorblimey!Camel have teeth!I got a good view of some camel almost having a go at me at the Sahara Festival in Tunisia!On arrival the boarder guard....said "Oh you're an enetertainer are you!What sort!I replied"A juggler!"He was curious....so i got 3 pairs of socks & did a number!He laughed & let me in!I'm Off!Laters!