Is Martin gone?

[Dan Holzman]

I have not posted for a long time because of the harsh treatment I recieved last time I wrote to p.net at the hands of a perfromer named Martin Ewen. I feel I have a lot to contribute, but refuse to do so as long as he is still around. Many nights I have sat up thinking about the secret techniques I could divulge that would make huge difference in other people's shows and hats, but have decided to keep to myself because of him.
Why I should worry about a one time juggler turned Gustav the mime clone who is not even a real Australian is beyond me, but I am worried about the repreccussions an entanglement with an unstable performer could lead to. I have heard from a reliable source that he had been a stalker in the past and once refused to go to Perth for a short period of time, due to personal reasons.
Now please remember this is all hearsay and second hand reporting. but that is enough for me to be very afraid for my personal safety. I will wait a couple of days before I post again, if I don't see a response from Martin I will assume he is too scared to respond or has gone into hiding to escape facing up to the many emotional and financial debts he has probably left in his wake. Hopefully this forum will remain Martin free and I will be able to dispense the gems of wisdom that are within my ability to dole out like candy to the starving masses.
Hope to write again soon,
Dan

[Steven Ragatz]

Dan,

You're really weird. Martin won't get you.

If you really want to post and don't want to be hassled Martin's posts, you can go to your profile, click on "edit ignore list" and type "martin ewen" into one of the fields. It doesn't make him go away, but it does flag his (and anyone else whose user names you might enter) as being ignorable...

Or you can devote your excess creative energies to mentoring jugglers through the IJA...

Steven Ragatz

[Lee Nelson]

i hope martin never leaves

heya, i cant be bothered looking thru past posts for the time that Martin spewed verbs over you in such a way that has made you fear for your life.
I do know him as a person though......if ever a saying was correct it is this
"sticks and stones may break my bones....."
martin does not have the genetic capability of hurting you. Words are his weapons and I personally respect them more than a left hook. He is the most valued contributor to this forum, in the sense that he always will speak from his heart and damn it, he is one of the only performers who posts here that was working when i started so I value his contributions. If you have incited debate in the past, be proud. Not scared!!! Grow up, its the internet!!!! Noone is gonna hurt you.
If you have something to say, say it.
If you are scared of using your real name, use a fake one, its the internet!!
If your pride stops you doing this........
Only you answer to you

I want to hear what youve got to say, I want you to double my hat (good luck), I want Martin to share his point of view on anything you might have to offer
Thats why I come here
Use the force
lee

[Doctor Eric]

Screw doubling my hat... I'm much more impressed with your abilities as a fisherman Dan. I've never seen anyone catch so many red herrings with a stale gummi worm on a plastic hook before.

[Dan Holzman]

What?

Dear Mr Eric,
I would call you Dr Eric, but I have too much respect for those individuals in our society who have done the neccessary schooling to actually deserve that title( If you are an actual Dr. I apologize). I am not sure what type of stale gummi worms you are referring to. If that is some kind of thinly veiled anti-american jingoistic claptrap I am deeply offended. On the other hand if it is a compliment I thank you for the kind words.
I remember you from the last time I was on P.net. You seem to be a decent sort I hope I don't have to add you to my list of bad apples that has Martin at the very top(The butterfly man is third on the list, and I am sure you can guess who number two works for).
Daisy and Derek,
Please don't underestimate Martin's capacity for evil, The grocery store in my neighberhood just closed down so a larger chain could move in. I am not blaming Martin, but I think the coincidence is too great to ignore.
I am sure I could double your hats, I have developed a comprehensive training program that you might be interested in. I have not done any research into your act, but judging by the name Daisy and Derek I think you need extensive revsions to work in any market that might be interested in hiring you. Please let me know if I am within your budget as an advisor, I would be glad to look at your webpage for a small preliminary fee. You might think about changing your name to Daisy and Dereck( I think it has a better sound then what you had before) That tidbit is free, I hope to work with you in greater depth in the future.
Your friend,
Dan

[Barry]

wow

Dry, Dan.
very, very dry

[Lee Nelson]

MARTIN!!! Here boy, cmon. MARTIN!!! Its Dinnertime.....

[Peter]

Re: What?

Originally posted by Dan Holzman
... Please don't underestimate Martin's capacity for evil, The grocery store in my neighberhood just closed down so a larger chain could move in. I am not blaming Martin, but I think the coincidence is too great to ignore...

Dan, you sound like you need to see the big men in white coats that have a jacket for you. Of course the jacket has really long sleeves.

How in hell can there be any "coincidence" between Martin and a grocery store closing in your neighbourhood? Please start taking your medication again.

[Barry]

verständnis

oh dan,
i am choosing to beieve that i get the joke. that for that matter, there is a joke. if i am mistaken, i choose to believe that the white coat will look very good on you.
chers, barry -

[Barry]

also

am choosing to believe that i am the only one who does get it
-b

[Barry]

martin evil,eeek

okjay, i have thought about it and thought about your mental state the last time we met, the more i think about it, the more i realize...dan, you havre simply come unhinged. matin IS out to get you, and you are paranoid...

[Doctor Eric]

Re: What?

Originally posted by Dan Holzman
Dear Mr Eric,
I would call you Dr Eric, but I have too much respect for those individuals in our society who have done the neccessary schooling to actually deserve that title( If you are an actual Dr. I apologize).

Okay Dan, it's winter, you're bored, you're lonely, and you're aching for some hot, snarky, sarcastic, sado-masochistic p.net action. I can understand that, hell, I even respect it, but try a little harder, that bit that I quoted is word for word the same !@?@ that you said to me a year ago.

The rest is okay. The bit about the grocery store almost made me smile. However, right now you're only gaining points for people taking you seriously, and both of us know that that is a cheap and hollow victory at best.

[Dan Holzman]

Go read about spoiled fruit !

Dear Eric,
So, you don't deny that I wrote the same thing a year ago, do you? It just goes to show that I am not the only one disturbed by your use of a phony sobriquet. Get off your altitudinous equine Eric. and talk Turkish like the rest of us. Maybe you have time for research , but I my friend do not. Between my serious golf habit and need to lose money at 10 dollar sit and gos I barely have time to read what I have written five minutes ago let alone research the pathatic ramblings of a man at least one year my junior.
If you wish to correspond with me again please refer to me as Judge Dan phd esquire the third( see how does that feel spank master), and I will refer to you as third year med student Eric, until I feel it is time to confer on you the title of Dr. Do you like Granny Smiths, well I got your number 3rd year med student Eric, how do you like them Granny Smiths.
Judge Dan phd esquire the third

[Doctor Eric]

same joke=same reaction.

It's really not that funny, just kind of boring.

Youngsters and aspiring performers, see Dan's behaviour and take note: This is the end product of years of successful organ-grinding for corporate America. It's a trade really. Sure, all of those high dollar dancing-monkey-for-the-richest-CEO gigs, may very well sap, twist and completely deflate your sense of humor. But what you lose in funny, you gain in self-confidence. And who wouldn't want to be that self-congratulatory white guy? The one with the @#?! eating grin and the booming voice that proclaims "The more my jokes suck, the louder they shall RING!"

Who needs a soul anyway?

[Dan Holzman]

am I right?

Really not that funny = not completely unfunny
Kind of boring= at least a little bit interesting

Another lesson that can be learned. Never attempt to write anything funny and there is no way you can fail. Good job Eric.
Dan