Martin Kicks Arse

[Magrat2005]

bye bye

I didnt think anyone would, see ya!! *waves*

[jester]

Hmm Ettiene.

Actually this is between Martin and myself. I am not for one moment suggesting that Martin should not be your friend but he certainly isn't mine.

Maybe it's because he chose to have me as an enemy. Martin actually started all this when I made a light hearted joke, I was laughing with you, but Martin used it as an opportunity to fight me. (Which a lot of people thought was very funny.)

I have to say that your reasonable challenge to me is very refreshing and I think I have explained at some length to both Martin and yourself why I like you. And I like you personally very much indeed.

Now Martin would have us beleive that he is in control, so maybe you should ask him. I don't think so. Read below if you are really interested.

I think you will agree that I have never insulted Martin as a performer and I think it is nice that you are being so constructive a peace maker.

[Magrat2005]

someone has to play 'peace-maker' around here, but its not going to be me, I've had enough

[martin ewen]

Pick him up dust him off, sponge off the spittle and start again

Wow, YOU start a thread called "Martin Kicks Arse"
and now you're suffering from primary school flashbacks complete with spittle. Heres a clue, I am in no way responsible for the dispair and hopelessness that you felt as a child and if it comes bubbling up now that you've picked a fight and feel a bit bruised then gee maybe its an opportunity to learn something .
Adapt or perish, your methods don't work, you can attack me and the other contributors for being brown shirts but the simple fact is YOU are responsible for what you bring upon yourself, you pretended to be a lot tougher and less sensitive than you are and you were seen through and tested and found out. You have every right to be hurt. I flayed you, you can pretend I didn't and make like its a character deficiency on my part but you asked for it and I flayed you like a dead donkey.
Now my advice is to leave this particular thread and never return to post on it again and my advice to others would be to try and do the same, come read it sure but really its like kicking someone all the way home.
Go and make a cup of tea and come back and start a thread called something like, "martin actually likes my bottom" or "Jesters kindler gentler thread where everybodys nice to each other."
Who knows what might happen

[firegirl]

YOU are responsible for what you bring upon yourself

truer words were never spoken.

peace out,
k

[jester]

Ah now you made a little mistake.

It is not I that is hurt, nor is it for I that I ask for compassion. I said show me compassion as in show me you can do that.

I do not hold you personally responsible for what happened at school.

Firegirl, learn to speak your own mind or get out of this thread. It may have escaped your notice but this thread is in writing so there is no need for subtitles.

No you see you aren't thinking Martin. That is your problem. You are being defensive and you aren't listening.

So I am responsible for what I bring upon myself. Here we go again, you think I am weak and therefore I deserve whatever I get.
When I was at school I was like Dan Tastic. I advised the bullied to keep their heads down. "I'd be quiet." means "know your place." I too blamed the bullied for being weak. They brought it all upon themselves. In truth I was just grateful that it wasn't happening to me.

When I was at school, unable to compete with the Alpha males, I kept out of their way, and when the Alpha male (that's you) decided to spit on the anarak of some poor harmless omega kid who's face didn't fit that day, I was an accomplice. Not because I spat too, for I did not. I was an accomplice because I dared not speak up for my friend while everybody joined in. And this happened regularly.

In your last thread you basicly said "I am not weak. It is not my fault you are weak." That is not the issue here Martin. The weak are the Firegirls and the Peter Voices who rejoice every time I get a verbal duffing up. Next in line are the Dan Tastics who advise "I'd keep quiet."

Well I'm not going to keep quiet. You are a bully. You can't see it because you haven't threatened me with violence. However, you have attemtped to bully me, and that is what I object to.

Since I was at school, I have been unable to stand by and watch the bullies. I'm not talking about the playful ones. I'm talking about the clever ones who pretend that they are not so.

You are in theory well above bullying, but somehow you fall into the trap of deluding yourself that you are not a bully when you do it.

It isn't me that you are bullying Martin. I'm just the Jester that is standing up to you. And it isn't the spittle, the spittle washes off. It is the petty mean mindedness of the strong doing that simply because they can. And when the intellectually strong start doing that, I begin to understand why tyrranny rears its ugly head, propped up by the most unlikely supporters.

You are arrogant, and therein lies your real stupidity, which I could forgive, if it wasn't so dangerous. You are like Dr Faustus. You have the power to change the world, but you are too busy making antlers grow out of my head.

[martin ewen]

You confuse stoic self pity with wisdom.

So you didn't help your friend who was spit on and now I'm your chance to redeem your lost pride.
But this time its different...This time your not going to back down..this time your going to face up to that bully and he's going to realise your stronger than him and he's going to break down and be all weak and pitiful and scared and your going to forgive him and everyones going to gather about and slap you on the back and the credits will begin to roll and then they'll be commercials followed by the traditional sunday night leukemia tragedy TV drama.
Excuse me while I fit my welding strength oh-my-god-its-the-new-messiah wrap arounds on.
Thats better.
Now...I'm going to have to ration myself in my responses else You may well exaust me.
You bait and bait and bait.
You leave juicy loopholes so large that they simply cannot be ignored.
But for the moment I really must stop entertaining.
You keep calling me a bully. I've admitted as much repeatedly. Is this like some sort of attempt at interventionary reprogramming? You hooking me up to your tediumotron till I become a nice person and get with the program and change the world?
You bore the living fuck out of me and I attempt to entertain and dilute your almost overwhelming lack of humour. I guess we'll just have to see who lasts the longest.
Oh and one last thought
You're a bully your just a sanctimonious wee hypocrite with it, You just attemped to bully firegirl, yesterday you got snarky at steven ragatz of all people, you dish it out but when it comes back in spades you pull the 'we are the world' defence. Transparently facile and shallow. Fantastic! I feel my second wind coming on.

[firegirl]

SPEAKING MY MIND

Originally posted by jester

Firegirl, learn to speak your own mind or get out of this thread. It may have escaped your notice but this thread is in writing so there is no need for subtitles.

first - that isn't a subtitle - it is a citation. I am citing from another post and responding with my opinion that it is a correct statement.

second - I have spoken my mind quite liberally throughout this thread.

third - I will cut through the bullshit of hyperbole at this point and be very straightforward with my opinion of your antics: you are an antagonistic, frustrated, unoriginal, redundant idiot.

this is much similar to what I "edited due to drunkness" two posts ago. I actually edited it due to compassion - as I felt I was being far too harsh and judgmental of you - I felt you couldn't possibly be such an idiot or as desperate for attention as you appear in your writings... but, you've left me with no choice except that conclusion at this point.

jester - you need to get a life. I don't know what the hell your deal is - I don't think I want to know. I’ve surmised from bits and pieces that you've been laid up with some sort of injury and this could be adding into your boring pedantic rambling... you've stated that the plaster is off your leg & you're in physical therapy... I suggest you focus your considerable energy on that - instead of the p.net. I’ve noted that in all your threads you keep saying the same things over and over and over and over and over...

and, over...

and, over...

and, over...

you even start new threads to harp upon those SAME POINTS in different formats.

we get it. you don't like martin. you don't like eric. you don't like peter. you don't like everyone. you feel attacked and unloved. we GET IT. now just shut up, already!

at least martin makes me laugh. you just bore me.

find something else to do, eh? you're really making yourself seem pathetic and desperate for attention... and, it's really sad.

[jester]

Firegirl

You can chose which threads you want to read. You have taken great pleasure out of getting involved and have sniped on the sidelines like a little parrot. That's your choice.

You don't have to like me or read my threads, it says who started the thread on the board.

I was not bullying you. I think I was being witty. It was like you were repeating everything everybody had to say. It was pointless, like a telephone for the deaf or subtitles for the illiterate.

You were acting as a cheerleader to the crows. It was pathetic and undignified and had far more to do with your desperate need to cement alliances.

This thread was never very pretty, it was not meant to be, However I have done nothing to you, or to provoke you. I do not feel hurt or harshly treated, and I really don't need your pity.

This thread is so that Martin and I can scrap it out, without polluting other threads, which is something Martin and I have been prone to do in the past.

Fare thee well

[martin ewen]

Oh boy oh boy oh boy

I don't think you should have done that.
It should be fun mopping up afterwards though.

[firegirl]

you're right jester - i can choose the threads which i want to reply to. but, it would seem that you insert yourself into ALL threads. so, what's the point of trying to avoid you?

and, at first this thread was slightly amusing to me. there were some good insults going on - it brightened my mood.

if by stating my agreement with other's opinions i'm a cheerleader - then so be it.

you say you haven't insulted me - and, to some extent you're correct - i have never felt insulted or hurt by things you've directed at me via this thread.

however, if we go back through this thread i'm positive i can find at least two places where you have ATTEMPTED to insult me or provoke me. just because i haven't given in and taken a swing back doesn't mean you didn't try.

and, honestly - i'm sure you're a fine individual in person. however, your obsession with trying to get martin to fight is bordering on a sick obessive type thing. and, you do bore me. in fact - that is what i've read most people saying to you - you bore them. yet, you persist in saying the same thing again and again... you are redundant. hardcore. here's a thought: before you post replies to martin you should read them twice and think, "jester? did we say that a couple of posts ago?" if the answer is "yes" - DELETE IT.

here's a clue - you're not witty. you're not funny. much. you have had a couple of "golf clap" moments - and, that's being generous.

here's another clue - the fun people do extract from you is poking your buttons with a sharp stick and watching you go off. that is why people respond to you. you should be aware of it. because, your predictibility is the funniest thing about you. that if you glance in the directon of your dark corner of the p.net and sneeze the words "MARTINEWWWWWWWWWAACHOINNN" that it sends you off onto a twelve page non-sensical rant about how martin is an ass.

people find it funny to watch you whirr your tires in the mud and to watch martin stand there in front of you dangling tire chains just out of your reach.

i've been a member of these boards for 4 years... i've seen people like you come and go... they (for some reason) always seem to go after martin. perhaps martin brings that on himself - i don't know - personally, i find him quite funny and he often has intelligent things to say. point being that you are just like everyone who's come before you... members of the faceless frustrated who fade into the collective conciousness of p.net... you're JUST LIKE THEM.

and, martin has been very patient in giving you what it is that you want/need - validation that someone is reading your drivvel.

jester: be unique. be something better. inspire awe instead of pity.

but, for god's sake - shut up on this martin thing, eh? it's boring us all to tears.

MARTIN,
i'm sure you're right - but, i'm feeling quite cranky this morning... and, if i were replying to you i'd more than likely have rethought posting that - as i recall you've taken me to task in the past & it's been somewhat brutal. however, given that i've been insulted by some of the best in the world (including you and others found upon the old hallowed p.net boards) i'm thinking that jester isn't going to have much of an effect on me...

besides - perhaps it'll inspire jester to say something new in his ramblings...

peace out - i need coffee,
k

[jester]

That was great.

Now about predictability.... Well lets just say I predicted that.

I have not sought to insult you on this board and when I started it I knew that it was going to turn into a popularity contest. I am glad you like Martin.

That is nice.

I never asked Dr Eric, Peter Voice, or Yourself to come onto this thread to insult me. I may deserve it, I certainly expected it, but I did not ask.

Like I said, if you are bored, ignore me. It's easy to do and there are many people here that don't even feel tempted to respond to me.

I think the most repetitive thing on here are the legions of idiots queuing up to tell me how stupid I am.

I'm holding up a big banner that says: "If you are a TWAT come here and waste your life, I've got time." And there's a queue. And you stood in line and sharpened your stick.

I like repetitive humour. It's an aquired taste.

The bit you said about poking me with a sharp stick does kind of prove a point that I've been making all along. It is the people with sharp sticks that need to look at themselves.

Yes Martin has been indulgent. Actually Martin is kind and caring too. But he is tough, and he is fun to bait, and he isn't perfect. Nor is he entirely blameless in this thread. Would I bother baiting Dr Eric? No. And I like him (beleive it or not). It may be boring for you, but it was fun for me and it wasn't entirely pointless either.

I hope you feel better now. I hope you enjoy your coffee.

Next time you are tempted to poke a dumb animal with a sharp stick, just remember, it wasn't nearly so satisfying an experience as you thought it would be.

If it was... Why do you want your money back?

[martin ewen]

just for the record.

I know chance reads these boards most days, and personally I think its unfair to him to include him in a way that infers he's anywhere as unbalanced (or unbalanced at all)as what we have here today. Chance knows how to be playful when he chooses and I respect that.
I'm not getting anywhere near the isthmus of brotherly love but on a good day, with powerful binoculars, I can faintly see the common ground.
He popped in and played with that poor damaged amputee woman a while back.
Plus he's the only one here who's congratulated me on getting married a month ago, (admittedly after that he said 'Bite me')
He has discipline to not bite at every provocation whereas I'm on about 50/50.
And in that (and only that) he's a better man than I.
Chance pushes buttons because he can. What we have here is a lone monkey with a broken leg convinced he can write shakespeare by stabbing randomly at the keys hoping that he'll statistically hit the jackpot before his 999 co-workers come back from exercise period.

[jester]

You're still here Martin.

And congratulations on getting married.

kjjgjghajtijtijtijdljkalk;jlhthltelhkelkh.

Common ground? Look I let you jump the queue every time, that is special treatment for my favorite customer.

[firegirl]

Originally posted by jester
Firegirl
You were acting as a cheerleader to the crows. It was pathetic and undignified and had far more to do with your desperate need to cement alliances.

the most recent. then there was...

Originally posted by jester
Firegirl, learn to speak your own mind or get out of this thread. It may have escaped your notice but this thread is in writing so there is no need for subtitles.

a sad attempt - as it was neither factual or actual...

Originally posted by jester
Oh gee thanks firegirl.

I was trying to ignore the Dubyah slur. You're diplomatic enough to be his middle east ambassador.

that one was my favorite... though it made no sense what-so-ever... it bordered on funny.


Point:
you have tried to both bully and insult me. (along with pretty much everyone else who's replied to this thread.) i'm too gracious a person to go off on someone unprovoked. yes, i like martin - many do. i do not dislike you. what i do think is that you are a one trick pony. the only think you know how to do is hurl out uninspiring insults... (though that uber twat thing was pretty good... was that you? i don't remember) and, obsess over someone who doesn't give two rat's asses about you - other than as a source of minimal amusement.

doesn't it say something to you when people from all over the world are mocking you and telling you to shut up because you're boring them?

it should.

seriously - i encourage you to try and be better. if you're going to insult someone - do it with aplomb and flair... shoot for the stars... be the best damn insultor on the face of the planet... don't be this sad, wan example of mediocrity which you are.

i'm not part of anyone's fan club - i just happen to recognize good sarcastic, bitter humor when i see it. and, if anyone is the epitome of good sarcastic, bitter humor it is martin - for which he has my respect... as that is talent... martin is TALENTED at crafting sarcastic replies to everyone.

TALENTED a word you might want to try replacing the "annoying" from the phrase "boy, isn't that jester dude annoying?" with... wouldn't that be so much nicer for us all?

kate <--unamused/falling asleep