Toronto Woman Foils Suicide Pact

[Chance]

Ain't senility a wonderful thing Peter? I become more and more inspired the more you post here. Really. With you as my role model I'm almost looking forward to needing Depends myself.

[Airborne Dan]

C'mon you guys. Can't we all just get along. Lets call a truce to all this madness and everyone is invited over to my place for a nice cold glass of Kool-Aid.

[martin ewen]

http://www.implosionworld.com/

[Magrat2005]

you guys are really doing my head in, and its giving me a headache, cant you all just give it a rest and go argue someplace else

[jester]

Ah I see. Dr Eric has it so right. Martin is just pretending to be retarded when he drops to my level.

I've seen a lot of fights in my 41 years on this planet. I used to break them up for a night club. No I wasn't a "Bouncer" I was a mediator. My job was to get between the regulars (who we wanted to come back) and stop them from fighting so we didn't have to ban them.

Now the most interesting thing when a fight breaks out is to watch how people try to "help" and make things far fucking worse.

The approach of playing dad, talking down to the fighters and threatening to kick their arses if they didn't stop often results in "Dad" being thumped first. And once he's been thumped there is no way back for either of them.

Then there is the hilarious system whereby somebodies freind physically restrains them, for their own good, only to find the enemy now has one free shot.

Hysterical mates screaming things like "Leave him alone you cunt!" and "Who the fuck do you think you are." Are equally ineffective ways of stopping a fight.

I'm sorry that disabled people fighting is so disappointing to Dr Eric. I just know that most people want to express themselves aggressively, while a sick and dangerous few want to inflict real and lasting damage. If the pathetic majority is distasteful, it is nothing compared to administering first aid and calming down terrified onlookers after a less than disappointing bout between two people, one of whom really meant it.

As for the people who are disappointed by the quality of bickering on this site, I'm not. You don't understand. You are the people who look at Van Gogh pictures and think they were easy and retarded to paint.

This is high art bickering at it's finest. Pure Unadulterated Drivel. If you don't like it, go buy nice pretty greetings cards from your nearest corner shop and read them instead.

[Famos Bramwells]

If you fry celery gently for about ten minutes it takes away a lot of the bitterness and turns it into a worthwhile vegetable.

[Doctor Eric]

Proud to count myself amongst the sick and dangerous few

Quick, some one, ANYONE! Fry jester gently for about 10 minutes!

[jester]

You know, I feel much safer at night knowing that Dr Eric is out there somewhere.....

.......and I'm in here.

[Dan Holzman]

where is the love?

I have wanted to post on this forum for a long time, but I am disturbed by all the negativity and anger I see here. Don't you two know the impression this type of argueing makes on people who come to this site accidentally. It's this sort of behavior that gives variety performers a bad name and keeps them from making a decent living. I am very disappointed in both of you, and will not post again until you apologize to each other, and to the entire performing community.

Sincerely,
Dan Holzman

[scot]

I'm on dan's side or maybe his back when I say, "Me too."

[Magrat2005]

yeah!! that makes 4 of us who want it to stop - ok 3 1/2, half of me enjoying, half of me fed up, instead of bickering over whos best outta you two, why not bicker over something else, hmmmm.... knickers/thongs, chocolate/vanilla,....I dont know, I'm sure you'll find something

[jester]

Alright.

I love Airborne Dan
I love Dr Eric
I love Martin and anyone else who has indulged me in this drivel.

Er that's 4 of us Mr Holzman. Which 2 did you mean?

[Magrat2005]

Originally posted by jester
Er that's 4 of us Mr Holzman. Which 2 did you mean?

jester - wasn't he talking to you and Martin, or are you talking to someone else, dont anyone know how to point their post to the person their talking to?

[Dan Holzman]

It's all good

Jester,
You have done a noble and true thing, The good name of variety has been restored, and the world is at peace again. Now we can get back to the true purpose of this site. May friendship and fellowship be spread to all performers. Let's support each other in our worthwhile pursuit of bringing joy and laughter to the world.

Dan

[jester]

Thank You Dan Holzman, for now I feel I am on the path to the light. The love I feel grows within and my soul glows.

My love for them is of course unconditional and I shall give them time in which to fight the demons within. Although I know they shall never love me in return, I forgive them for being unable to rise above the petty spite and bile that rules their lives.

Only by showering love upon them can we hope to cure them. Dr Eric of course would not want to be cured, but that is the nature of his illness.

I shall buy them Cardigans made from the wool of organically reared Llammas and send them without reason poste haste, for what reason does love need.

When they next encounter me, my disciples will adorn their evil necks with garlands of flowers grown from the Fair Trade Nurserys of Afghanistan.

We shall rejoice as they the prodigal street performers return once more to this loving community.

Unless of course they just punch me in the gob, in which case it's business as usual.