Toronto Woman Foils Suicide Pact

[jester]

I'm funnier than nobody.

And Dan, you are my favorite nobody.

[Magrat2005]

dont call my Dan a 'nobady' you arse, your no longer my mate now for that, Dan, I'll join you in your 'fucking room' any time you get lonely

[jester]

Wah! Nasty lady not be my friend. Wah! Wah!

I'm so unpopular with fickle people. It's a gift.

[Magrat2005]

never mind...your get over it, and I'm not 'fickle'

[Famos Bramwells]

red wine with stilton, that's really nice.

[Magrat2005]

Originally posted by Famos Bramwells
red wine with stilton, that's really nice.

Er.....can someone please tell me what hes on about? what has red wine and stilton got to do with this? I dont even like red wine

[Butterfly Man]

it happens to everyone sooner or later

Ill apologize for Paddy ... he (like others before him) has "hit the wall" ... he has nowhere to go now but pnet and the bottom of a bottle.

P.S. if youre looking for something even more pathetic to watch, try catching Gazzo or Master Lee at their next show ...

[Doctor Eric]

Don't make me come down there.

What the !@#? is going on in here?!?! I said STOP IT!! Knock it off you idiots, before I come down there and take off my belt. DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE OFF MY !@#?ING BELT!? I didn't think so. For the record, right now, neither of you is funny, entertaining, or useful in any manner whatsoever. Shut the !@#? up and move on. It's over, you both lose, because you're both acting like morons.

[Airborne Dan]

Careful there Dr. Eric. I may not be funny but I went to see a real doctor earlier this week. His name is Dr. Wiener. He's a very famous urologist and he said that I'm one of the most impotent people he's ever seen in his 20+ year medical career.

Now if everyone could please stick to the topic of the thread as I have endeavored too. Perhaps we could solve the terrible social problem of mass suicide right here at pnet.

[Magrat2005]

Originally posted by Airborne Dan
Now if everyone could please stick to the topic of the thread as I have endeavored too. Perhaps we could solve the terrible social problem of mass suicide right here at pnet.

Dan, I loves you, that just what I was thinking...but I have noticed with other threads Martin and Jester post everything seems to go OT...but hey, I'm enjoying, so they dont have to stop anytime soon

[Peter Voice]

Thread???

Mass suicide??? Talent??? Bad 60's boots???

Really guys, the standard of postings seems to have hit some sort of level normally associated with dubious popular chatboards.

We seem to have a medieval symbolic sycophant to aristocracy, a similarly contemporary over-sized mime and a guy so bored during his formative years that he learned to juggle, having a spat, encouraged by a, supposedly, 20 year old girl who thinks hippie fashions are cool and is threatening to show us her tits.

It's like some weird temporal anachromism in cyberspace.

The insults exchanged, so far, in this so-called flame war are an insult to the parasitic worms that inhabit the ani of the feral goats in the rubbish tips of Tierra Del Fuego.

Hey! What happened to flair, you bunch of misguided refugees from the most depressing eras of humanity? This crap would bore a piece of wood faster than a toredo.

If you are going to throw insults around and use lots of bandwidth, can you at least draw a little blood for us spectators.


Or we might join in.


PS. It's a worm, chance.

[Peter Voice]

You right there, chance?

[Chance]

If you say so Professor Willie

The only thing worse than a "supposedly 20 year old girl threatening to show us her tits", would be a 60 year old pornographer pretending he is one. A girl, that is. For over 4 years. Right here on p.net. Like some weird temporal anachromism in cyberspace. Spooky, huh?

[Doctor Eric]

I, for one, must agree with peter, and I don't even know what a toredo is.

I used to know a guy named Diver Steve. He got the name because he was an ex-carny, who used to run a ride called the Skydiver, but the only person to ever actually dive from it's heights was the rickety old machine's operator/technician. Steve is paralyzed from the waist down, but he's a passable tattooist, and alot of fun to give LSD to (especially if you happen to be a 17 year old punk rocker, which I was at the time). I made the mistake once of going to a party with diver, of course he's an old drunk biker/carny, and I should have known better, I grew up with guys like him sleeping on my couch. Anyway, here we are, the party isn't all bad, we're having a good time, Steve is completely trashed, and then he runs into an old nemesis of his. I don't remember the guys name, or the exact nature of the drama between the two, it involed a teenage bride and a midnight drive to Vegas, I think, but I DO remember that Steve's nemesis is ALSO paralyzed from the waist down. They be began sniping at each other, spitting beer, and if either one of them could, I'm sure they'd have both lifted a leg on the other. That's when the true stupidity ensues, Steve grabs the other guys wheel with one hand, and thumps the guy in the temple with the other (not bothering to drop his can of beer first). Whithin seconds, they're both dethroned, and trying their damndest to beat the shit out of each other, dogs are barking, beer is flying, a bystander threw in a kick or two, and somewhere, a baby is crying. None of us wanted to reach into the mess, and they really weren't able to land any puches anyway, and it was the first time I've seen the rest of the party get bored with a fight before the participants did. The must have grappled like two squid in a thumb wrestling match for twenty minutes. Meanwhile the rest of us just went inside and watched TV, until eventually, they both started whining and crying to be put back in their chairs.

My entire 27 years on this planet, I've never seen a more pathetic excuse for a fight. That is, until this thread came along. Welcome to the special olympics boys, you both get a sticker for your helmet(s). And Martin, you've been disqualified, we all know you're only acting retarded, get back in line with the able-bodied.

[Peter Voice]

You have serious problems, chance, if you think there is only one thing worse than 20 year old breasts.

Then again, you think body-paint on circus peformers is pornographic. I'm sure Abiy, George, Karen, Ulla, Sergei, Dianna, Bev, Cherry and Cass will be delighted that you think they are pornographic models. I do so look forward to your next trip to our part of the world.

God, I wish the fish in my local creek bit as readily as you do, chance. I think they are smarter.

But hey, you do do justice to the bowel worms of some pestilent South American ungulates. Pity this isn't the "Talent" thread as there is a possible connection here.