Kurt Vonnegut

[Peter Voice]

Send me the recipe. If they ever let chance back into Aust., I'll move the dining room table into the toilet and invite the moron to dinner.

[Drew Richardson]

Vonnegut commencement hoax

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/vonnegut.htm

Origins: _ Kurt Vonnegut was not the 1997 commencement speaker at MIT. That honor went to Kofi Annan, secretary-general of the United Nations. The speech attributed to Vonnegut was actually a 1 June 1997 column by Chicago Tribune writer Mary Schmich. As with many other good bits of writing and speech, the attachment of a famous name to the works brings them to the public's attention in a way they could otherwise not have achieved.

(Echoes within echoes: Georgia State University graduates may remember Ted Turner's speech at their graduation in 1994. Turner, facing a skin cancer operation, told them: "The one piece of advice I can give you is put on sunscreen and wear a hat.")

In 1998, the text of the Mary Schmich piece was turned into a "spoken voice" recording featuring the voice of Australian actor Lee Perry. Titled "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen," the piece immediately became a cult hit in Australia, and by early 1999 the "song" was taking America by storm.

2002 saw the "Vonnegut/MIT commencement speech" tale circulated anew, that time identified as the speech given to the graduating class of 2002.

Last updated: _ 23 July 2002

[martin ewen]

tangental

Peter
who was the guy who was the maveric on the first 'race around the world' abc series where youngsters had to visit countries and make doco's.
He did a brilliant parody of that "sunscreen' bit set to music.
Among some of the jems were
"remember you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex"
"skateboard in parks and on war memorials"
His doco's were amazing, Locked inside the japanese subway system overnight, getting a curse put on an ex girlfriend somewhere in africa, and the only one they couldn't show, Going to a series of catholic churches in Brazil (I Think) and, hidden camera in hand going to a series of confessions and admitting to kissing a male friend at a party and enjoying it, then comparing the penances.
oh and one other, he dressed up in his melbourne footy club colors and (he's jewish) went to some heavily guarded checkpoint in Israel camera in one hand, football in the other and booted the ball over the barbed wire into presumably a minefield then went up to the heavily armed and ultra suspicious guards and in his broad auzzi accent inquired innocently, excuse me, can i get my ball back?

[Butterfly Man]

I've been hoodwinked!

Thanks Drew for correcting me ... I had no idea ... btw some guy from Nigeria has asking me to put some of his money into my bank account ... what do you think?

[martin ewen]

who or whats been fucking with this thread?

Cats are dogs, dogs are cats
peter voice....
It's got me puzzled. I thought there was a new post late last night but it wasn't there when I looked. Then this morning the same thing happened. Unfortunately, I usually just delete the notifications without reading them and just go straight to p.net, so I don't know how many are missing or who put them up when. Theoretically, it should be possible to find them.

I hope none were chance's. I find his contributions so amusing.



__________________
Every-one should watch their drawers!

https://www.chalkcircle.com.au/

martin ewen......

ts a glitch i think
I posted my 'where have the posts gone' and there it appeared. then I was notified that robert had posted and it was his nigerian crack and thanks to drew for pointing out the source of the quote and my 'where have the posts gone' was NOT there.
(which secretly pleased me)
now its back to missing posts.
somethings askew, I thought you were a moderator peter? You and jim and maybe one other (one of the motionfest crew, Walbridge?)
anyway, interesting but hardly that interesting.
Unless we get to EXPELL someone.
That would be cool. (I'll start digging the detention pit)


Peter voice.... wouldn't mind knowing what's going on here too. I've got a couple of emails to say that some-one has posted here but when I come and look there is nothing.

WHO IS CENSORING THIS THREAD AND WHY?????



__________________
Every-one should watch their drawers!

https://www.chalkcircle.com.au/

Martin ewen....
've refreshed multiple times, this threads been edited? to remove drews info that the sunscreen quote isn't kurts and my tangental regarding an auzzi who did a satire of the same sunscreen scree.
To what end?
it might be a glitch at my end but if it isn't i'd like to suggest that given theres more than one moderator here, that moderators think very carefully about editing topics they themselves are participating in.

[Jim]

I'm the only person with moderator capabilities. I have not touched this thread. (For the record, I have not edited or deleted a post this year.) If a post is edited by it's author or me, it will say so in the body of the post. Only a moderator (ME) can DELETE a post with no record that it was there. The author of a post may edit/delete the content of the post, but the post will remain... only the content in the body of a post can be modified.

Martin, I can't figure out what went wrong for you. Maybe you imagined posting, or typed a post but forgot to hit submit. Then when you came back it wasn't there.

Let me know if there is any more strange behavior with this thread.

[Doctor Eric]

Hrm...

I just wanted to point out that the response you just read is our illustrious leader's six-hundred and sixty sixth post. You always seemed so trustworthy Jim, until now...

[martin ewen]

I still have 2 versions of this thread on 2 computers

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '98,
People often ask me if I have any advice to offer
And when they do, I tell them this:



If you're unsure about what you're going to do with your life,
Try to remember, some of the most interesting people didn't know what they were going to do at age twenty-two or even at forty, and nearly all of them are unemployed drug addicts forced to live on cat food.
Also understand that friends will come and go, this is because of your irritating personality, nobody likes you. So if the only thing getting you thought the day is the misconception that people like you, end it now. (bang)
Learn how to smoke Whinny Blues, if you're under aged, get an older kid to buy them for you.
Get to really know your parents, they're good for money, milk them, then put them in an old people's home.
Travel as often as you can, live in New York City once, live in Northern California once, never live in Adelaide, It's a hole.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, if you do have children, lock them under the stairs.
Do one thing each day that scares you, sing, dance, jump in front of a car.
Do not trust anyone who tries to update Sheakespear for the kids, and if you see Quindon Tarver in the street, punch him in the face for me.



Chorus
Brother and Sister, we can be free (smack)



If you're worried about the way you look, try to remember, you're probably fatter than you think, maybe you should consider an eating disorder. Don't worry too much about the future. If you're nervous about an exam, ring up your school to schedule time, and make a bomb threat. If you're a girl, lie about period pains to get out of anything you don't want to do. Cheat if you think you can get away with it. Remember, someone with richer parents is getting private tuition.
Shop-lift as often as you can, Shopping Centres factor shop-lifting into their prices, so if you don't do it, it's like they're getting money for free.
When you're on work experience, steal a cab-charge, and take a Taxi to Perth.
Wear sunscreen, but only if it's that coconut oil that gives you cancer.
Keep your old love letters, if you see an old lover in the street, try to run them over in your car.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or else by the time you're thirty-five, you'll look like Greg Matthews.
Remember you can wear your underwear four times without washing them, Forwards, Backwards, inside-out Forwards, inside-out Backwards.



Chorus twice
(bang bang bang bang)



Congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres, it's a free country, It's public space. Skateboard on War Memorials.
Smoke in your School uniform.
Set off car alarms.
Plant Drugs on a teacher.
Join a cult.
Spike Drinks.
Don't flush public toilets.
Remember, only you will truly take care of you, so carry a concealed weapon.
Don't wear your 'P' plates.
Walk around with your eye lids rolled back.
Touch your tongue on the tip of batteries.
Be open to new love.
Remember, you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex.
Expect others to support you, it's easy to get the doll and still do cash in hand work.
Respect your elders, when your grandma dies, have her stuffed.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when you're knee capped by a loan shark.
Get revenge, don't forgive anyone for anything,
But most of all, don't aim too high, you're probably only suited to an office or factory job.
And trust me on the Whinny Blues.

[Jim]

Now I know what happened to this thread...

There was a problem with my server a few days ago and my server admin moved all my sites over to a brand new server. The files on the old server were copied onto the new server (a completely new machine.) The new server has a different IP address, and in the process of moving everything over, there must have been a lag between IP addresses.

Martin, you must have posted onto the old server... then the admin must have moved the backup of the database over to the new server. The backed up database must not have contained your post, so when it was installed on the new server it was actually an older copy of the forums (older by a few minutes.) You just happened to post at the exact moment the files were being moved.

If I had known when they were doing the move, I would have shut down the forums for half an hour during the transfer. But they did it in the middle of the night and it was kind of an emergency situation. The old server was croaking and they needed to get everything moved immediately.

So... that post is gone. This is the thread now. I'm glad that was all that was lost!

Jim

P.S. In case you're wondering, I don't house the server in my office. I just rent a server at a server facility. I maintain the files on the server, but there are technicians I've never met who keep the box running... and I'm glad they're good at their job.

[martin ewen]

Its server based then. So its any thread, it happened today with the 'Phish' topic. I put it up, got acknowledgment, but on my partners computer (even with multi refreshes) it wasn't there, so rang taxi, same, not there.
went from safari to firefox (browser) and it was there.
so resubmitted it on firefox with 'sorry if this is a dupe'
and there it is.
the original is where?
I know they were 2 different servers because I changed my password on safari and could only use the old one on firefox.
whats the key sequence for screenshots? (on a mac) so I can grab these things to show you if they happen again.
(and its still happening, one browser has 6 visits to phish and phish the only topic of the day and the other has 10 topics with 17 visits, (refreshing not changing anything, I've even rebuilt my safari and then trashed and replaced it, have to reinstall multi cookies for stuff like salon etc)

[Peter Voice]

Awkward.

Some thing has gone wrong. Seems that if you continue to use your old "favourites" button, you will always go to the site on the old server which stopped accepting posts about 40 hrs ago. I only found the new server by using the 'new post' link on one of the new post notification emails. The refresh button just refreshes the defunct page.
I had to over-ride/reset the link in my 'favourites list' to get back to the new server again.

[martin ewen]

I blame america

Wipe all links to 'newperformers.net'
and stick with 'performers.net'
That is the crux of the issue.

[Jim]

There is an issue with the new IP address that I'm working out today, but everything works fine if you post and browse www.performers.net.

UPDATE YOUR BOOKMARKS!

www.newperformers.net was a temporary domain I used back in February to transfer from the old forums to this system. In the IP address shuffle last weekend, www.newperformers.net somehow got left behind. I should have it resolved in a day or two, but just use the address www.performers.net/forums and everything is fine.

Look at the address in your browser window. If you post at www.newperformers.net, you're actually posting at another server that most people won't see. And that server is going to be unplugged very shortly.

Sorry for the confusion Peter and Martin. Just fix your bookmarks and come on over to the site everyone else is using.

Jim

[Jim]

I think this URL issue is resolved. Martin and Peter... try going to www.newperformers.net/forums and let me know if it's the same as www.performers.net/forums

Sorry again for the confusion. Everything seems to be OK now.

Jim