The adventures of Fire Beard the Pirate

[jester]

Dr Eric.

I don't want to alarm you, but I actually agree with you on something. Fire blowing is stupid.

However, I still feel very sorry for people who have to blow fire, and I wish those poor bastards (who are simply too clever to spend their lives saying "Hi, I'm calling from Lucifers Double Glazing" but too dumb to do anything else except poison themselves for the entertainment of the proles.) could learn to do something clever like say Comedy or serve burgers in a high st chain... Er hang on. I just worked out why you guys stiff petrochemicals in your mouths.

I'm still sorry. No PAIN I hate physical pain. We should do a benefit gig for all the burned fire blowers.

So my sympathy all round guys.

Don't do it. Get a better act. Please.

[Doctor Eric]

ouch

"Get a better act. Please."

Wow, that's gotta hurt more than turning your face into flesh jelly. I mean, when jester speaks of quality, people listen. He must be an authority on the subject, just look at that hat, that simple look in his eye, the size of that crowd...

[jester]

and your point is?....

Okay my website is old, I'm not that thin anymore, those kids have grown up and oh my god, it is such a small crowd....

It's called a school. It's a good school. The class sizes are small and so is the school. The kids learn stuff. And I still know most of those kids who are now much older and none of them own a gun.

Yeah, maybe I should revamp my website and put one of those boring lists of how many people I worked for, who I worked for, how many clubs I've played at, (it'll always be less than at Dr Erics because I have to do most of my venues more than once.)

As for the hat. I'm very proud of my hat. Yeah. I can do my act without the hat or the props but I like them and it. They are vehicles for my act. Which incidently doesn't involve any fire blowing.

[The Amazing Beaumanz]

too funny!!

[scot]

His point is, you are telling someone else to get a better act, when it looks like yours sucks. You perform for small crowds and use a jester costume for a crutch.

You made a flash judgement about someone else by what you've seen on this site, when the hand you're showing looks worse.

[MarcusM]

Yea, I agree with Scot...I don't know you but come on thats a little harsh for never actually phyiscally seeing the man's show don't you think? However, I have never seen your show either...but I have no room to critize and either should you.

[Butterfly Man]

ahhh, the good ol' days ...

Nowdays, instead of a jester's costume ... I am using a crutch as a crutch.

[Doctor Eric]

Hah! I'll show you!

"However, I have never seen your show either...but I have no room to critize and either should you."

!@#? you ALL, I have room to criticize ANY of you!:

Jester: Don't even try to defend yourself, it's just sad, Helen Keller could see that you suck. From 20 miles away. In a submarine. And I've played all of those clubs multiple times. I live in America, remember? You can drive for more than 20 minutes here and still be in the same country.

Scot: Come on, I don't know anyone who blows so bad that they had to jump continents because of it, not even Jester. And I'm pretty surprised that the the people haven't stormed his castle with torches yet. Maybe when you come back to America they'll have a position ready for you at Chuck E. Cheese.

Marcus: I hate to break this to you, but that part you've been waiting on? The show's been cancelled. "This Is My So-Called Life" has been off the air for like 5 years now. And denim ALWAYS sucked. If you really want to be a "Pop-Star" juggler, you should cut your !@#?in' hair and hire a truck to help you move out of 1995.

Butterfly Man: Glad you're still sucking air through your teeth. It's a good thing there are so many shitty street performers to hang around here and tell you how good they're pretty sure you used to be, huh?

...

Never mind. That's mean. I'm sorry, really, I love you all.

[Butterfly Man]

Physician heal thyself

As long as Chris Karney calls every Mother's Day (and you still blow me), I think I'll be able to survive.

[jester]

Yep. It's a fair cop. Once again I have outraged my peers and they are reduced to criticising me personally rather than deal with the arguements.

Fire blowing is still dangerous though. My costume is not a crutch and I often perform out of costume and with no props either. Fire blowing is possibly a crutch.

And thank goodness for Scot, Phd in Stating the Obvious. You should become a social worker or something.

Actually I'm smart enough to know that most Fire blowers love what they do and take the risks associated with it knowingly. I wouldn't encourage it but they are often great performers and speaking as somebody who had consumed many various poisons over the years I am wrong to criticise.

I'm not going to apologise for my comments though, I was just hoping to provoke some decent defence of fire blowing.

Didn't get one did I? Hmmmm.

[jester]

That Submarine

So Dr Eric. It's you! You are the evil force that has taken Helen Keller and hidden her in a submarine. I have sent a team of ninja pizza delivery boys over to the states to hunt you down and release ms Keller who has to be over 100 by now.

Yeah she's right: I suck.
Hey, but at least I don't blow.

I suck. But don't go knocking my audience, they are more than good enough and they deserve to be entertained by the best. In the meanwhile they can put up with me.