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[Peter Voice]

fart, on demand, in tune, with full surround-sound and wide-screen technicolour. You'll be able to fart your favourite artists tunes complete with video.
"Wwwwwow" said Robodobert, " Mmmmy fffavourite singer is......

[ 11-12-2003: Message edited by: Peter Voice ]</p>

[Pyromancer]

... Johnny Rotten, while he instantly grabbed one of the tablets and started to fill the room with smudgy brown colours, that brought the people in the room vivid memories of things they wanted to forget.
"Shut up punk!" Yelled Taxi Trix, as he took a pill as well...

[Rob Torres]

Within seconds Taxi began to toot a melody only that a Jewish cab driver from Queens could. All were in awe at his talent. What range he had, his bass notes made the walls tremble, his high notes shattered crystal. No one knew his sphyncter had such talent. Except his bald headed lover who could make taxi's rectum sound like an opera in the Met. When he finished Taxi passed the hat. To his surprise he got more than the beans he was normally used to, he got...

[Spike McGuire]

IOUs. Though IOUs couldn't buy the beer, they were the closest Taxi has ever gotten to real money. The impatiant busker that he is he decided to total the IOUs between shows. Some were for $5 some where for $10, but there was one that wasn't for money at all. It was for something else entirely, it read: Taxi, IOU...

[Airborne Dan]

... more magic beans! He then realized there was a way he could make his new music show even more powerful, he could incorporate his dog. A tar black French poodle named Le' Pet. Franticly he searched for the old man in the orange and pink pinstriped suit, driving a freshly painted hot pink Cadillac The man with the magic beans. He found him, standing under a streetlight not far from where he'd just been performing his new "One Man Band Rectal Opus in D-minor".

"Hey pal, you've gotta give me some more of those beans". Taxi pleaded to the old man.

"Well thats just the trick" replied the mysterious old stranger in the pink and orange pinstriped suit as he coldly surveyed Taxi Trix . "I've only two of the magic beans left in my posession, what are they worth to you?".

"I'll give ya' anything ya' want, just give me those beans."

"Alright son, I'll give you the beans now, but you'll have to pay me later."

"Deal."

Taxi snatched the two remaining magic beans from the old man's outstretched palm and started running for home. On the way he stopped at a liquor store and picked out enough beer, wine and liquor for the party. When the guy at the counter gave him the bill Taxi asked "What's your favorite tune?"

"Chariots of Fire. Why?"

Taxi then broke into the most heart wrenching version of Chariots of Fire he could muster. He blew that song out of his anus with such grace and sensitivity that it made the entire liquor store smell like flowers.

"Take it", cried the man behind the counter as he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. "Take it all , this ones on me".

Taxi grabbed the booze and headed back to crash the impending party for Butterfly Man. When he got there he found Hilby and Robodobert waiting for him at the door. He wrestled his way past the two sentinels, clutching the magic beans in his fist. They chased him to a room where he'd locked himself in. By the time they broke the door in it was to late. Taxi had fed the last two remaining magic beans to his French poodle Le' Pet. The three men stood back and stared at the dog to see what it would do. The dog stared dumbly back at them and proceeded to fart the only song it ever loved. The Star Spangled Banner.

[Peter Voice]

"You Bastard!" Robodobert said, "That really stinks! Just for that, I'm going to fart Britney Spears and Dixie Chicks all night".
Hilby and Martin looked on with ill-disguised horror until the moment was broken by the sound of an approaching pushbike.

[Rob Torres]

This astonished everyone because Le Pet was french and the discord between the two countries has been a long relationship. Taxi realized the magic beans were more than a one trick pony. They might be the solution to world peace. So Taxi brought Le Pet to ...

[Peter Voice]

meet the dude on the bike. As they opened the door .....

[Dead Wood Records]

Then Taxi suddenly pelted off without warning into the old cornfield
where the scarecrow of the stut-stuttering ventriloquist
stood in his old and ragged clothes.

As he ran and ran to find a place to plant the seeds thinking they would be more

[ 01-17-2004: Message edited by: Dead Woods Music Agency ]</p>

[jester]

likely to grow in a feild that had recently been inhabited by livestock under a crop rotation system. If these beans were indeed to bring about world peace they would have to be organic.

So he ran through the feilds of corn, he ran and ran, the ears of grain rustling past his own as he fled towards the horizon, his feet now barely able to connect with the ground as he became light and unable to purchase the floor with his soles.

His soles desperately scrabbled for earth as his body, weightless bobbed slowly forward, ahead of him on the horizon, a cowfeild with a tin shed and a rain cloud over it. Behind him the devil himself, erupting out of the corn like a tornado, determined to foil the plan....

[Butterfly Man]

“Free Rocks!” yelled the prince of darkness ...

Immediately, Taxi’s feet (a la Roadrunner) came to a screeching halt.

“Free Rocks!” thought Taxi.
“Of course!” he cried.
“Why hadn’t I thought of that?”
“There’s something to sink your teeth into!”
“Rocks … free one’s … everywhere … and what’s more … they’re free … here … in this cornfield … there … under all that manure … free … free rocks!”

With that Taxi began to dig … feverishly … searching for stones that looked big enough to cut up or maybe even drill holes into. His idea was to put metal bars into the rocks. “What a great idea!” he thought.
“Perhaps someday, I might even be able to delude other people into paying for crap like this.”
“Damn!” he thought, … “this sure beats the hell out of boring people to death with my juggling act!”

When the devil caught up to him, Taxi forked over the two remaining beans without a fight … all that the devil had to promise was to melt the snow around his church a little earlier that year.

Now with a shit eating smirk.com on his face, the devil suddenly felt a sharp pain in his nether regions.

Whirling around, he jerked his pointy tail out of the jaws of a vicious little black dog.

Just then, a homeless man on stilts passed by the cornfield.

“You’re lucky it wasn’t a brown dog”, said the pale and gaunt ten-foot tall indigent … “I hear they’re poisonous.”

The devil, somewhat perplexed by the bizarre comment, was even more puzzled by the frenetic waving of the beggar’s fly swatter.

Nonetheless he …