Write This Story

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

"Once upon a time, three overweight gymnasts and a ventriloquist with a stutter lived together in a humble home precariously perched on the edge of a cliff. They had enjoyed a quiet life there for several years and, aside from the occasional argument over whose turn it was to do the dishes or wether Brady was gay, had all found the arrangement deeply satisfying. In fact, they had a mere twenty years remaining on the mortgage, and some serious equity, if the house remained standing, would likely provide a simple retirement.

It was on the seventh day of the seventh month, at seven am, that one of the gymnasts tumbled out of bed...

[Peter Voice]

and cartwheeled to the kitchen.

[worldwidese]

He whipped up some scrambled eggs, sprinkled on some salt and a large amount of pepper. He suddenly felt a sneeze coming on...

[Cybele]

"buh-buh-buh-buh- bless you," said the ventrilloquist, Robodobert, as scrambled eggs spattered the wall. Hilby, who was extremely overweight for a five foot gymnast, never mind that he inexplicably grew to be six-two, making him overtall as well as overweight, cleaned up the mess and called out, "look! it's somebody's birsday! We haf forgotten about July seven being a birsday of....."

[ 11-06-2003: Message edited by: Cybele ]</p>

[Airborne Dan]

Butterfly Man. We should call his parents (Stan the cowboy and his sheep) to see what he's up to.

[Peter Voice]

Dave Holder, another overweight acrobat somersaulted into the room and said "Don't do that. Stan's really pissed off because the sheep ran off with Martin. Perhaps you should ring .........

[Airborne Dan]

... this number I found in the yellow pages, Mr. Taxi Trix, he could perform at the birthday party". By this time the third over weight gymnast (Peter Panic) rolled out of bed, he'd been listening to the racket the others had been making from his bed. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and asked his housemates, "did I hear something about a party?'.

So they all agreed, they would celebrate and have Mr. Taxi Trix perform a birthday party show for Butterfly Man. But first...

[Cybele]

...they had to go shopping.

They let Robodobert, the stuttering ventrilloquist, make the list. Hilby, Peter and Dave watched as Robo wrote:

Frfrfrfrosting
ccccanccccacccccandles
iiiiiiceice ice cream
ccc-ccc-cccc-fuck-ccc-cake mix
bbballooballoons

and mm mm mm most imporporportant.......

[Lynneski]

spsp spaspaspa sparklers.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

"WHOA WHOA! WAIIIIT a second here!" Said Peter, swerving into a state of, well, never mind, and recalling, through the fog. "Taxi, Taxi. No. Get Martin. Hell, call Jenny if you have to, but don't use Taxi. I know a guy who had him at a birthday party once. He charged long money for short tricks, showed up late with a bad attitude about the directions, yelled at the kids, shushed the grown ups, and smoked a cigar during the act. Hell, he called a ten-minute intermission in a 35-minute show. He only got away with it because they thought he was Cyrus."

Peter shifted, and sat on the

[Peter Voice]

half eaten "fishwich" that Frack left on the arm of the couch last week. This brought several other acts into mind but he tried to concentrate on the subject at hand.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door!

[Cybele]

It was Gazzo, and he had Master Lee and Martin with him. "We're here for the party, man," he said. "Yeah, it'll be brilliant," Martin added. "Where's the beer?" inquired Will.

Peter, with half a Fishwich in his crack, suddenly blurted out, "Dirty Fred! That's who we'll have to entertain for the Butterfly Birthday!" Everyone seemed to think this was a stellar choice except Will, who repeated, "Where's the beer?"

"Wuh-wuh-wuh we haven't bbbbbbought it yet," said Robodobert. Hilby, who was thinking fondly of sweedish granola and soy milk, volunteered to drive to the store. "Who es going wis me?" he asked.

"I will," said

[Steven Ragatz]

Robodobert, so off they went.

As they were walking to the store, they noticed a crumpled, shell of a mime, pitifully plying for handouts. She had both an arm and a leg in a cast and could no longer stand. Propped precariously against a parking meter, she gestured for money. Hilby, being the soft hearted type, reached for a fiver, when the mime suddenly popped up straight, looked at her watch and exclaimed "Cripes! Look at the time! I've got to quit wasting time in this story and finish that script!" She hobbled away mumbling "Parrots and monkeys... Parrots and monkeys..."

The two beer seekers shrugged, and just as they started on their way again, a car pulled up...

[em]

Which was bright fluorescant pink and slightly peeling. As it stopped there was a faint smell of rubber as the bald tyres had struggled to engage with the tarmac. A withered and shaking hand struggled with the door as the fresh (yet badly) applied paint had slid into the lock a few hours earlier. As the body emerged from this pink monster of a car the rain began to fall and drip heavily and ascerbically onto the bonnet...and as the creature stepped out into the rain there was a gasp from the beer seekers as they realised that....

[Airborne Dan]

...they had spent the last of their money on sparklers. "Robodobert you fool" said Hilby, "I told you ve didn't need two hundred und sirty seven packs of sparklers. Now how are ve going to get any beer?"

The old man stepped away form his pink behemoth, opened an umbrella and approached the two forlorn, broke and beerless revelers. "I couldn't help but over hear your predicament." He said, "and I'd like to help you two boys out."

"Zen you can give us beer money, yah?"

"Thathatha--thanks mimimimister."

The old stranger laughed, "I've got something much better than money to help you boys out." At this he reached his old and narled hand into the front pocket of his perfectly pressed pink and orange pin striped trousers. The hand emerged from the pocket holding a small jeweled box. The strange old man opened the box. Inside it there rested a half dozen or so ordinary looking beans.

"Beans? Zis is vat you can help us vith?

These are no ordinary beans, said the old man, why all you have to do is eat just one of these little gems and you will have the ability to ...