Rumple-The community gifts a nose?

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Mr Nosey......came across Mr Sneeze oneday
& then Schnoz was created!
Anyway i've off like a arrrrrrchhhhhhhhhooooooooo....artishoooo.....arhhh ..tissue......so let me sneeeeeze away....with the day!

[Rich Potter]

Um, pardon my intrusion, but

Rumple? You want your old nose back? Why don't you get into your full (fool) regalia, and go to some seedy crowded rednecky Ozzie bar and start screaming,
"Yer all a bunch of poufs! Bleedin' pansies! Cocksmokers! Weasel-Squeezers!" etc.

I'm sure one of them would be willing to rearrange your facial features for free.

--Rich

P.S. I, too, would like to know how your ear's crustacean tube is doing now, post-nose-job.

P.P.S. GooooOOOosE!!!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

P.S.If you read my nose posts carefully you will see quite clearly what i stated about.....a punch in the nose(has nothing removed)whereas...having a nose-job.....you can lose ya bump...as the dorsum...the bridge isn't so prominant as it used to be!
People have joked about that before.....but if you think about it logically it makes no-sense!I'd rather have a nose with a little nonense...(a natural beak...works to comic advantage...just having that bit more zest!More cutting edge!)..than no-sense at all!
Anyway i have to go so cheeers!Gorblimey!This nose topic is too much.....for everyone to get their head round concisely as it really a Chinese Puzzle & a half!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Crikey!This Is As Much As I Want To Publically Discuss About This NOse Topic!
IT really is ridiculous...but what the heck!THis is my last about me friggin' nose job!There's more important problems to solve in this World & it makes me feel selfish to go on about me own friggin nose!So i will friggin' give up on it & complain about it until 101!Cheeers!This is the nose know story in a little bit more detail.If you're not satisfied with it......i can always write 15 Trillion more words on it!
P.S.Enjoy:
Hello my name is Rumpelstiltskin.....I'm a worldly kangaroo jester of Oz.....who has performed in foolish(full)joker regalia in many eviroments in many different countries.I have been performing mostly as a fool since i was 20.I never used to wear a nose when i first started.Just put on the hat & i was there...ready to go.I originally had a real crooked jester's nose....but due to awkward breathing & a blocked left ear....i had my nose straightened.Unfortunately it was the pinnacle of my clowning misery!If you're a clown......never get a nose job!It could spoil your sense of humour!A beak is better than a ski-jump i think!Well you can use a beak to comic advantage!Perhaps i might get the bump put back in because you can't get your nose to grow back by metaphysically thinking about it!You must transcend the nose.....but when you come back down to use your body for a medium for your art......it's hard to forget about it....when it's right between your eyes!Perhaps i should do some pinocchio affirmations.....& my nose might grow back?Now i use a prop on my nose....a nose mask to compensate for the bump that used to be there!I have a whole collection of noses....The one i mostly use now....has a green bell on the end of it.It reminds me where i am.....wherever i go......i can never get lost because i'm always there wherever i go!The whole nose topic is quite a complex subject!I felt that my natural nose was anatomically correct the way i was brought up with it(creation's design).....but now in a sense...the prosthetic nose has turned me into a bit of a freak of nature...because my character relies on it....so i can hide my nose job when i perform!Some people might concider me as prententious at times as me as a character if i'm always wearing my nose....even when i'm not performing...but still wearing my costume!If the jester costume is on....the nose stays on...because...it spoils the illusion...if i take the nose off!It's like Samson getting his hair cut off!I lose my power...if the nose comes off while i'm in costume!I never had that problem before i had a nose job...whilst wearing my jester's costume!A nose job....shifts your whole personna around....your whole character expression changes!It's amazing how...your whole expression can change over night!It's as if my character had been cut out!I'm a bit of a naturalist so i think it's more body beautiful to be as natural as possible.It's a bit paradoxical for me now?My natural nose(first nose)was handsome enough as it was...& was naturally more jester's like.....now it's more cute...but not such a jester's nose!I kind of feel a bit expressionally handicapped...i mean...a bit of a deadpan for facial expression (without the nose mask which lets me be more of a rubber face so i can hide the fact that my nose hasn't been man-hand-fiddled with)when performing!I wear the false nose to make me feel more secure as a jester character....but it's not so natural as a naturalist organic jester character!I felt more natural with my original nose for comic jestery expression because it was 100 percent naturally me.Now i also wear makeup with my attached false nose...so it looks more realistic for character work.It doesn't nessessarily feel so natural though....if you were to imagine me wearing this nose & makeup whilst going for a swim in the ocean.In one way it's not so harmonious in conjunction with the enviroment....but then again humour can transcend all boundaries at times....so the comical reality of wearing such a long nose in some enviroments can be quite funny for the fantasy of comedy & that in itself is an art!It can sometimes be a fine line between the natural world & the character world.....when being a jester in this theatre of life.It seems that a jester is a philosophical being who's character is synominous with everyday life...where as a clown is someone who performs when they wish!
I much personally prefer to have humourous looks than to be good looking.I'd rather be a comical jester...than a sexy jester!Perhaps people who don't perform for their livelihood....ie..secretaries etc would rather have nose-jobs for asthetic reasons so they can join the culture of body beautiful people?It was a mistake for me...i'd rather have a crooked jester's nose back....but unfortunately i wasn't expecting to have my bump removed!What can you do about it now?I like the idea of having more of a nose....so it's easier to be a full-time fool than having to put the nose on & off(to have that jester character look back)!It means you're alwys impromtu....at all times if you're a character that never has to apply a nose to pull faces with.I repeat....if you're a clown...never get a nose job....charcter is more important than good looks.I guess alot of people who have had nose jobs.....probably preferred their original nose in the first place.....because it was more anatomically correct & also had more character!I didn't do it for good looks at all...i just had problems breathing because i had a crooked nose....& didn't expect to lose my bump in the process of getting my nose fixed!My advice to people who think they can join the culture of the body beautiful just by getting a nose job....should think twice about it....if they don't want to fall into the wrong body category....because it's more anatomically correct being just as natural as you are!I guess some people can get their nose straightened without getting anything removed.That is better i think....because....it's of more natural effect & it's not usually as obvious as having a job done where the tissue is removed!I feel that my bump was partly my cutting edge....it gave me that bit more zest in my jest(I feel i've lost about 30 percent of my comical anatomy)!Characterwise the nose is an advantageous vehicle for comic expression....that's why clown's have always emphasized it...ie the red nose clown etc!It's kind of strange also...because i feel that bump gave me that edge of masculinaty i needed.I feel more feminine without it!I was already quite Yin in nature....so a nose without a bump isn't my cup of tea for my persona as a jester!My nose feels quite petite now.....I'm a bit shy about it.....to perform with my natural nose....so i have to wear a nose prop to feel normal when i perform now!I know i have character with or without a nosemask(well humour comes from within....but it helps to have more of a snozzle for the physical reality of humour)....but it feels much more safe to pull faces with one when i perform because without it i feel insecure....."Where's My Nose!"
I will always have character as humour is within,but crikey,the nose is probably the most comical thing on the human anatomy!It's good to have the ability to perform with or without the nose as a clown.Gosh!sometimes i feel a bit neurotic....a bit hyper-condriac about my nose situation....& don't like to feel superficial about it,when at heart...i've always been a naturalist(like to rhyme with nature's laws)!To worry isn't going to help!I never used to worry about my nose much at all(especially as a character nose)because it was naturally normal,it was the breathing factor that i was more anxious about,not it's anatomy!I guess in tribal cultures people do all sorts of unusual scarifications & so forth!I would feel more comfortable with the feeling that i had of had a nose job for ritualistic purposes!It's a little bit humiliating...when there is no control in the situation!It's not so good to get too personal about yourself...it's good to branch out & get out there & become more one with all people!It's a bit contradictory being a performer & living the contrast of being an introvert & an extrovert whilst expressing oneself with the nose on or off & living between reality & fantasy!Oh God!What to do about the nose?You just have to accept it....& not focus on it...which i guess is easier said than done....when the reality of it is....that you have to use your expression for your trade!It's all such a personal issue & is different for everyone!No-one could probably fully get their head around this nose topic until they experienced it...so then they could become more familiar with what i've been going through(well that applies for theatrical performers mostly)!Oh crikey!Life is tricky being a performer at times!Expression can be an obsession as far as being a performing artist goes....you have to use all what you've got....naturally or unaturally!The face is also the centre of attention(the nose is just about the centre of attention in the face) because you speak through it & look at people's eyes when talking to them!Gorblimey!You must transcend the nose or the universe may revolve around it!
Gosh!It was really bizarre fate that i lost my bump in the first place!I once did a long jestering marathon show in Australia...& met someone afterwards who later introduced me to a friend of Tiny Tim's(ukulele player & singer)!He lent me $200 to get my nose done because i asked him after i saw a surgeon oneday(the surgeon said how does $200 sound in consultation?I thought "What A Bargain!"He had a plush setup in a cushy area of Sydney...& had clients waiting who looked quite affluent!I thought he was doing me a favour!God damn it!He cut me bump off!Oneday i'll get the bump back so i can get over the hill again!Perhaps there is someone on the planet who has the talent to put the bump back so it looks naturally anatomically correct...as it was once!)Gorblimey!Perhaps if it hadn't of been for that Tiny Tim connection...year's ago..i would still have more of a nose now?It's quite ironic when you consider the fact that Tiny Tim had a big nose...& that definately suited his character!The world works in weird mysterious ways!The nose also has quite a connection with the gender even though most people wouldn't be aware of this!Oxygen the most important element in life goes through the nose & also the sense of smell is the most neglected sense.There's alot to know about the nose!Damn i wished i could find that nose book!
P.S.Life is too short to hold back one's inner beauty!We're all just a freckle on the nose of time.....nobody get's out of this world alive!Do what you love!
Crikey!I think i've finished now?Gorblimey!I could of probably gone alot longer....on this nose topic...but my eyes feel a bit like secondhand mothballs now!
Anyway this is the end of this thread...so let's go onto the next topic!I'm exhausted about this friggin nose stuff!Please talk about something else!Regards Crumbleforskin The Friggin' Fucknose What?

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Alot of these stories where i have had hassles with the red-necks & that was more of something from my past!Sometimes people can get set off when you just want to express yourself....& liberate your creativity by being a jester!Well i guess Australia can be a harsh audience in some places sometimes....but then again you can get really good friendly audiences there aswell....it's a bit like than everywhere i guess....well some places in Europe seem to be more gentle....as far as crowds go...as they have a strong culture....of tradition for the arts!
Australia is gradually getting more educated....as far as theatre goes.....well it's not as rough as it used to be......7 or 8 years ago!The internet wasn't even in use for the general public then!Oh crikey!Every topic is an epic in itself!Maybe i should strive for some more simplicity as less can sometimes often be more!Well in some cases!We are all so similar in one way & then again very different in others!
I mean people are people....& i don't like to have anything over anyone...& i really wish to have good mutual feelings with everyone i cross paths with.In the end....aggression is just a waste of time....as it's better to follow the path of enlightenment!I guess i should focus on this much more than my nose aswell,but sometimes it's hard to transcend the nose(Knows)!
Sometimes people accuse you of being on drugs when you just want to liberate your creativity...by doing your art!I guess there's alot of people out there that get scared into conforming.....as it can be a pretty prejudice World at times for people who just want to liberate themselves by doing not so usual things!Fuck the fear!
Enjoy Creation's abundance & play with it with healthy humour & liberate things creatively & also with human integrity!Creation is much more exciting than Destruction!What else more can i say?

[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 12-31-2001).]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

LOVE P.S."XOXOXO"

[Rumpelstiltskin]

God!There really is alot in the nose(knows)isn't there?It's such a multi-dimensional topic!The isn't certainly alot of depth to this subject!There's Nose(Know's)Business Like Show Business!
The nose really is a very prominant feature for a clown's comical anatomy!Why do clown's emphasize the red nose so much?Because it's synonymous with the clown's character & there are also others reasons!Apprently i read somewhere that the clown's red nose is synonymous with the Devil!
Crikey!I'll have to dig that one up again.....& get what it exactly said about it!
Nevertheless it's just common sense that the Schnoz....it an essential part of a clown's expression when they have to use their body for a medium for their art!You can convey a message from the material to the ethereal....but if you couldn't see anything...it would just be ethereal!Visual humour.....can't be witnessed by blind people....so i guess they're not so fond of Mr Bean!Well Black Adder can be heard.....& Not The 9 O'clock News!
Anyway i'll just to a Breatharian Barbarian & breathe in all the second-hand air!Just joking?I'm going to get some real sense!Maybe i should get some real fresh air in Antarctica!The cleanest air in the World!
It's funny how the penguins there spiral in & out of each other taking turns back & front....so they can keep themselves warm!
Gosh!You're snot would freeze there.....that it would make it hard to breathe!Cheeers & crikey

[Rumpelstiltskin]

The Fool Knows The Nose!

[Prof Willie B]

The nose is a very interesting thing. For a start, it is(in all animals that have one) the most efficient humidifier and heat transferal device known to science, instantly and effectively moisturising and heating or cooling the air we breathe. It's cavities effect our ears, eyes, brain and the front of your shirt after one of those embarrassing, sudden, savage sneezing fits. I'd like to know if the nose job fixed the ear problem and if so, will the grafting of some Rumpelbumskin return the original aural disorder.
There are more than a few people whose noses (and ears) are prominent in our collective memories, Caesar, Cyrano, George ll, Pinnocchio, Jimmy(Shnozzza) Durante, LDR, Jimmy Hendrix, Satchmo, Princess Anne, Klinger, (and just for us antipodeans) Roy Rene (Mo), Bill Laurie ,and of course W.C.Fields and Tiny Tim. My grandmother would also be an outstanding memer of this group.
For those with an aural bent, think Van Gogh, Buddha, Chopper Reid or Prince Charles (even Caesar, again).
This of course is not the first time a piece of flesh has been removed from some-one without permission(think Caesar again), so whilst we consider some rumpelbumskin on the face of Rumpelstiltskin, have we given any thought to rumpelscalpskin on the head of crumpledforeskin?

Woolfe and Punding's "Anatomical Studies" offers no clues on this dilemma.





[This message has been edited by Prof Willie B (edited 01-01-2002).]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

Hello fans....Mr Crumblefiveskin here again wishing you all well out there wherever you all are?Crikey!Maybe i should get a Munchkin's bum grafted onto my forehead & a chihuahua's lip-stick onto my foreskin & then i can call myslef Chihuahuamunchskinbum!
What do you reckon?That would be a real hit?Otherwise i could get a baboon's bum grafted onto my face?Eat your heart out Michael Jackson!Perhaps i could even get an elephant's nose grafted onto my face!That would be one hell of a stonker!That might give me back my masculine edge?
Oh God!Plastic surgery makes you want to throw up when you think of Michael Jackson!What an eyesore!At least i don't have to go as far as getting any flesh grafts!Maybe i'll just wait & in time i'll be able to clone my old nose back(just joking)!The only way just about,for me to transcend this nose problem without getting a nose-job is to become an ethereal or deadpan comedian....or keep being a Schnoz Honker Jester!
I don't know why Michael had his nose changed in the first place as he didn't have anything wrong with it's physical appearance!I thought it origially looked much better as it was!He didn't have any medical problems...with the whole Schnoz connections!Some of the stuff that he did with the Jackson Five was quite funky!I think he was in his prime then,but he certainly declined after getting a nose job!
Yuck!I'm not the Michael JAckson of the busking World & besides i have no money!That was the worst bargain i ever got in my life!Maybe i should start a category on the Performer's Net,"What was your worst ever bargain?"
I've thought about ears a bit aswell....well i'd rather have one bigger ear than the other(that would look funny) than have no beak on the nose!Gorblimey!Some tribal cultures go the full extent with things.....what about those people who put a big wooden plate in their lower lip which stretches it right out!What about the giraffe neck ladies....who keep getting rings added to their neck with age....& years later their neck's can collapse if their rings are removed & they can die!Recently there was a Phillipino guy who cut his willy off because he thought it was evil to get horny!Oh God!Gosh!It's hardcore...the extent of some of the scarification that some tribal cultures get into!We're just urban specie pansy's who try to copy this sort of stuff purely for modern fashion!Most people in the West just get a tattoo with no ritual involved at all in the process!It's amazing to see how many bad tattoo designs there are when you walk into a tattoo parlour!Some of them are good.....but there definately is enough tacky themes out there!There's alot of money to be made in bad art these days...in the whole spectrum of show business!Of course there is alot of amazing stuff...but some of the shit that sells....is purely souless art!Money talks!Put the art into money or the money into the art?Oh where was i.......?
My left ear is a bit better....my so called Eustacian tube....but is a bit blocked now as a matter of fact!I guess my ear thing is better now....but sometimes changes with climates....as sometimes in Australia with the real hot summer...it can get more blocked....& also in the spring with all the pollen flying around!I guess all white people are originally Europeans in the first place & our bodies were manufactured for this part of the World from the start!It looks hiddeous in the summer in Oz...at times.....when you see white people red as lobsters!Alot of European women(oops & men)have such clear smooth skin....whereas alot of Antipodeans have leathery skin from being too over-exposed!Why does Australia have to get such a bad Ozone deal?The Aborigines(Koori's)really do look more natural to the enviroment than we do!Oh!Gosh!I really am an Australian alien!It's bizarre to consider the whole genetic whirl-pool of mankind(why not call it humankind?)...& to consider.....we're all one big cosmic family!I guess that sounds too hippy!Don't be too critical.....as you have to be true to yourself & you'll have nothing to fall back on....if you think nature should be relentlessly scorned upon!In the long shot i'd rather be a part of nature than a part of the machine!I guess we all like the best of both Worlds....a bit of nature & a bit of technology....as a hippy would say to a business man..."I could do with a TV,computer...stereo system etc!",whereas a business man might sometime say"I could also do with a bit of nature!"
It is bizarre to consider that a TV is inorganically surreal!It exists!Is that Creation's magic?It's a trip that it exists!You just can't take reality for granted!Science is full on!There is also so much out there that just goes over our heads & isn't there for the general public to know about!
Oops!I'm going off the rails a bit here!NOw back to the Knows!Sorry i mean nose!I think this nose thing is a lesson to teach me to become a Knowsologist?Only joking?I'm losing my sense of humour.....so i better go!All the very best & cheeers!


[This message has been edited by Rumpelstiltskin (edited 01-01-2002).]

[Rumpelstiltskin]

If it wasn't for noses....would there be air?

[Rumpelstiltskin]

God!Please don't send me any money....as i have to work for it!It's funny how....it's mostly performers that give me money when i'm busking!It's embarrassing sometimes when you just want to watch someone's show...& all your tinkle bells are on & that....with curly shoes & all,also with nose with bell on the end...& people stare at you as you're trying to watch the show in peace!It's impossible to be inconspicuous when you're in fool jester's regalia!The show never stops when you're in your costume!It never seems to stop...even when i'm not in my costume!Oops!It's not my fault if my show won't leave me alone!

[Rumpelstiltskin]

It's amazing when you look at all the noses out there!Look at the difference between these: Greek noses,Roman noses,Jewish noses,Arabic noses,Elephant noses,Pygmy noses,Aboriginal noses,Pinocchio noses,false noses,bulbous noses...animal noses...& even rugby noses!Maybe i'll become a man of many noses?I'll get noses grafted all over my body....from all different animals!I'll genetically modify myself into a Walrusgiraffeoxsquirrelwallabyfuckweazelskin!HOw about that?These days ya just got to go for it!GOsh!Imagine if science just completely spiralled out of control & we all mutated ourselves out of proportion....by an over-doses of genetic-engineering!You could mix a kangaroo with an aardvark....& a hammerhead shark! !

[Rumpelstiltskin]

The Man With 3 Notrils!
=======================
There once was a man
who had 3 nostrils
& would load them
with 3 peas
& sneeze
them
until he
felt off his tree! !

[Rumpelstiltskin]

I found this German book all about noses!It's only ever been published in German!It really covers quite alot on the nose topic!
Oneday i'll be able to read it i guess?
I've also got a book of Noses that i did myself....but it's just fool of noses!