I get a lot of fan mail.. Most of it is quite flattering, some of it makes me feel like a saint, some of it is annoying, some funny, and some creepy. Lets share some of the best ones of all categories.
Fan Mail
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I'm going to start this out with my prize fan mail possession. It came through the website contact form after a performance of my duo show at a college last fall.
Name: Shawn
Company:
City: Des Moines
State: IA
Tel: 314.XXX.XXXX
Email:XX*****@hotmail.com
Eve: I'm not planning an event. Just saw you guys at Drake on Friday, and am really disappointed in myself for being too shy to talk to you after the show. Like, I wanna do what you guys do, I bought a unicycle over the summer, started learning to juggle, but don't commit to really practicing.
BUT the deciding thing that made me email you was that I REALLY want to blow Evan, and was wondering if that would've happened had I asked. I mean, just out of curiosity. I'm a guy, and not out yet, which makes hooking up much harder than it needs to be. Not to mention that I kinda have a habit of falling for straight guys.
(Facebooking my email address leads to a fake account, just FYI.)
Comments: o hai
Mailing: -
never wrote her back, probably should have
hey, evan! i'm brianna...i was the adult volunteer in your show on wednesday, august 20th! i loved your performance; you have an awesome personality...even when you announced that you were looking down my shirt!!!
you're a funny guy...and from lancaster!!! send me an e-mail......! later, evan!
-briannaComment
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better than dolphins? holy shit
Evan, my kids and I caught your show yesterday after a visit to the aquarium. They liked you better than the dolphins! We look forward to seeing you again and wish you the best of luck. You are very entertaining!
--CoryComment
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I attract nothing but winners
from: J
to: Moria
subject: what is your age?
I saw you at the beginning of the Renaissance Festival. You were amazing!!!!
I saw you in the beginning of Saturday. I was with the blue camera. Did you see me?!?!
what is your age?
Did you see me at the festival?
where is the performance you are doing on the 23rd and the 30th?
I am a black belt In martial arts.
It was painful to get there!!!
(:
--
JComment
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adorable?
So, I'm not sure if it's creepy or inappropriate that a 20 year old college show fan, whom I've only met once, over a year ago recorded a video serenade for me on facebook, but it's pretty fucking adorable.
Hopefully ya'll can see the link.
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My No.1 Fan
It all started the first day of Halifax way back when. On Day 1 there was a woman sitting waiting at the pitch I was scheduled to perform at. As I set up my props I talked to her and was my usual gentile self. For the next 10 days she showed up at every show I did... and stayed until I left, never saying much of anything to me and (I noticed) never putting anything in my hat.
On the last day of the festival she gave me a immense handmade card with a loonie inserted for each and every show I had done... I thought that was kinda sweet so I invited her to a festival wrap party... she loved it. When I returned home to SF I started to receive letters...well, not really letters... more like novels ... they were written in many different colors of ink and over long periods of time. She told me everything she did every day... but the real creepy part was when she sent me the photo album... pictures of me doing my act, moment by moment... with dozens of comments written in little stick-on thought bubbles over my head...
Jeeez, I'd sooner have a blow job.Comment
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Unusual Tips...
Heck, that's the best kind of tip of all! (I'm curious to know if you took him up on the offer, but I won't ask...) I had one guy checking me out as I was playing my button accordion in the subway a couple years ago. He offered me the same kind of tip, but in person (he didn't wait to email me). I'm always appreciative of tips...so....BUT the deciding thing that made me email you was that I REALLY want to blow Evan, and was wondering if that would've happened had I asked. I mean, just out of curiosity. I'm a guy, and not out yet, which makes hooking up much harder than it needs to be. Not to mention that I kinda have a habit of falling for straight guys.
I've also been offered a watermelon, two tickets to the SF Opera, a hat (I always wear hats), and small table lamp. But, well, this is San Francisco after all...Comment
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Me, too. Your post reminds me of a woman who came day after day to see me play my accordion at the 24th Street BART station. I skipped a couple days since I didn't/don't do it every day, and she was there the next time I was there. She told me she "sad" that she missed me. She wouldn't talk much, but I got out of her that she wanted to learn to play accordion. I told her I wasn't much of a teacher, but she didn't seem to care. I figured what the heck and made an appointment to go to her home and give her a lesson. I went to the house at the appointed time and some guy answered the door and told me there wasn't anybody with her name, or any woman, for that matter, living there. She'd written down the address and it was clear. Oh well...Comment
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flipper can suck it!
That email was from a college show, not a street show (big check, no tips), but yeah, I've met plenty of girls (my preference) and had a lot of weird stuff in my hat from street performing. There is an entire separate thread for weird stuff in your hat actually, it's pretty fun.
This fan mail made me feel pretty good:
"Evan, my kids and I caught your show yesterday after a visit to the aquarium. They liked you better than the dolphins! We look forward to seeing you again and wish you the best of luck. You are very entertaining!"
I'M BETTER THAN THE DOLPHIN SHOW BITCHES! Yeah, I don't want to brag and say I'm better than you, but, I mean, can you honestly say that you're better than a dolphin show? I have proof that I am.... Just saying....Comment

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