Death By...

[Rachel Peters]

Have you ever pictured how you'll probably die?
I don't fantasize about it or anything, or hope for anything, but rather I've just accepted that I'll probably die very young, of cancer. It's just always been in the back of my mind, as what will probably happen. It makes sense to my Steel Town, city life. Every time I eat another processed meal or tear up some moldy carpet or inhale a big lung full of some aerosol product, I subconsciously accept that, "Yep. I'm going to die of cancer."
If I were, say, a missionary in Sierra Leone, I'd probably accept that I'd be martyred one day -- shot. But as it is, I just put toxic stuff in my inactive body, and it's most likely.

My social worker friend, Karen says she'll probably be one of those hunched over 95 year olds who's content and strong as a mule and just never dies. The kind of old lady who every thinks is just naive and sweet until they listen really closely.

I thought about Eric Cash today and figured he'll probably get stabbed by a paranoid schizophrenic, during a street show one day. He'll probably laugh while he's dying and say something really sarcastic. He'll probably also feel compassion for the schizophrenic.

I've started trying to apply this to anyone who comes to mind.
What do you think will be your most likely way to die?

Forgive me if you find this offensive... I'm just really, really curious. I imagine everything. Death not excluded. I'm sure I can't be the only one. ...If no one else, I'm certain that at LEAST Martin has thought about it.

[gav]

I have no idea how i might die, but i have a feeling that i am going to live far longer than i want to. I'm just too damn healthy for someone who takes no care of their health, and i have far too few accidents for someone with such disregard for his own safety.
Could just end up being old age for me.

[charliekarl]

A fortune teller once told me I would die from heart attack in a jacuzzi with three blondes and a bottle of single malt. I can't see how that could happen. That's definitely not how I live my life. I'm a vegetarian, and my cholesterol levels are great.

[Rachel Peters]

Oh, Charlie Caper. Oh you!



ps: congratulations on Sweden's Got Talent!

[Rachel Peters]

And I'd like to amend my original claim to EITHER young cancer OR something really stupid and embarrassing and completely preventable.
I'd hate to start dying in a bath tub or any other way that paramedics would have to find me naked. That would really suck.
Embarrassing stories are great if you can tell it later and make it funny. But I can't redeem myself if I'm dead.
What if I get trampled by pigs or something? Or fall from somewhere I wasn't supposed to be? Or choke on a tube of chap stick?
I think I should write a will that states if I die of an embarrassing cause that the funniest person I know should tell the story at my funeral. I'm not going down without a fight.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

That is an excellent thing to add to a will, you might even consider writing an outline, a springboard from which the speaker can dive.

I've always wanted to go down off a cliff in a flaming bus full of shocked and flailing passengers, screaming "NOOO!" and fighting for my life in a futile attempt to get out the door, even as we plummet, driven by blind instinct, striving with everything I have to live.

[Rachel Peters]

That's a good way to want to go, but is that how you think you will go?

[Jim]

Maybe we should try to predict how OTHERS might go...

Butterfly Man = Wild Boar
Karl = Large slab of Granite
Evan Young = Cholesterol
Martin = Cyberstalker
ALAKAZAM = Can't think of anything... will probably outlive us all.

[Rachel Peters]

I agree -- Al will probably marry the love of his life, have seven children and die happily in his sleep at the age of 86.

[Rachel Peters]

After decades of licking the tip of his paintbrush, Peter Voice will find out the hard way that his Crimson Red is toxic.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Martin will be licked to death by an ambitious puppy.

[martin ewen]

have my heart explode trying to keep up with this song on stilts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0F-Y69gGwGo

I have a much better quality soundtrack. 2.30. Just enough time to kill myself via exertion ...or not.

Film at 11

[Rachel Peters]

some are too real.

And you know, I know a lot of performers who will most likely die of alcohol poisoning or liver failure, but it's just not very funny.

[Butterfly Man]

Is Jim prophetic?

One of my dogs, the male, came out of the bush attached by his teeth to the tail of a wild pig while I watched in awe. My dog is approx. 55 lbs, ...the pig, somewhere around 325. I run in to save my dog with only a small knife size saw-blade in my hand. I slash franticly through the brush towards the barking.
My dog rushes over (thinking it's another pig), sees it's me and runs off again. This gave the cornered pig time to escape and he runs... you guessed it ... right at me. I freeze (I couldn't have run far anyway). The pig stops right at the base of my foot ... the giant snout is about 1 foot from my ankle. My hand clutches the blade handle tightly. I stare intently at the pig who is staring intently at me. My dog is barking loudly but the pig doesn't move an inch. I stare at this thing for what seemed like 20 minutes but was probably more like about 20 seconds ... and then, thankfully, it bolted away.

So did I ... thinking to myself, "fuck the dog."

[FireNix]

I recently did a Buddhist Meditation retreat in India 'Peacefull Living. Peacefull Dieing' - as my Nan has had Cancer for the last year - Karmically amazingly she was taken into the hospital the day it finished and I flew back 2 days later to spend 5 days by her bedside before she died infront of me and had the oppurtunity to practice many of the things I had learnt (the funeral was yesterday)
The Tibetan Buddhists (Mahayana) have a whole host of Philosophical teachings, aswell as Meditational and Tantric practices for the time of Death and beyond. One of the guided Meditations we did was to imagine our time of Death but a natural, peacefull 'Ideal' death, before doing other practices. I had always felt when it was my time to go, i'd like to be in India, without my family and have a traditional Tibetan Sky burial after - where they hack up the body and leave it for the carrion to devoir - the ultimate form of recycling and bad news for the poor bird that thought it was getting the tasty morsel of my Liver, but instead got messed up on all the left over toxins!! Instead I found in the meditation I imagined the typical Holywood bedside Death scene!!
I have a feeling that im not gonna go the 'ideal' way - I dont know if anyone has any idea statistically of how many peeps die of 'natural' causes (aint all Death due to 'natural causes!?) either at home or in a hospital/hospice? but as I dont have a home and im sure street performers statistics of 'accidental' death are WAY over the norm!! the kinda think the chances are slim.
As long as im conscious, aware, not in too much pain and relatively free from regret and fear (kinda like my Nan went) i'll die a happy man.
Having said all that the Jucuzzi with the 3 blondes sounds like a pretty good 2nd option should the Enlightenment not work out this life!!