Overheard

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

I'm working Beach Street USA with Hilby, Steve Brown, Aaron Bonk, Bob Whitcomb, and Nick Tweedy. this is the gig Paul Krendall is producing, which came up on these boards.

We are paid for rain days. Its about 110% out there today. A friend called Steve to mention that there were some apopalyptic rainstorms in Cleveland right now. His reply:

"I would rape and kill a goat in our driveway right now if I thought it would bring an apopalyptic rainstorm here."

[Doctor Eric]

The other day I was heading out to the comedy club, and when I stepped out of my apartment into the hall, I heard the neighbors rutting, so of course, I stopped to listen.

My neighbor had the rythmic-heavy-pant down real good. huh.... Huh.... HUH...

I love listening to strangers screw, but then, in the middle of a real good HUH! she blurts out "NO DON'T STOP IT'S SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!"

I'm still baffled to this day.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Last night, its literally 95% at midnight, we are finished with our three shows apiecs, and Steve and I are standing in the driveway, breathing. A rather disgruntled mentalist walks by us, and after he passed, Steve said

"He looked ready to shoot an orphan".

[unklesteve]

"Patton Oswalt says that if you kick a midget in the nuts, he turns into 8 squirrels."

"Open your legs, I want some squirrels!"

[Rachel Peters]

Tonight, after a lady (sounding as London as possible) met a real, genuine Newfie:

"Is he just making up that horrible Irish accent because he knows I'm from Britan??"

Overheard from a real, genuine Newfie:

"Trow du beer battl' awt da cAr winda' dare, b'y."


Yep... dat's fohnny.

...I still can't quite capture it in type.

[Rachel Peters]

Things you hear in Hamilton

"No... I'm not homeLESS, I'm a homO. There's a difference."

[Rachel Peters]

Yesterday I was supporting graduating students on "Industry Day" at my old college , having been a "guest mentor" throughout the year (which feels pretty weird)...

What I THOUGHT I said (to the Tony the Tiger commercial guru who gave me my first real job, upon seeing him near the end of the day) was, "Hey! I thought you were just going come for the food and then take off early..."

But then he replied, "What? Did you just call me a dink?"

I said, "What?? What did I say?"

"You said, 'I thought you were going to be a dink and just come for the food and then take off early.'"

I felt both impressed and horrified.
Impressed that I was chill enough to call the man (who has at times been "THE Man") a "dink" and horrified that I didn't even hear my subconscious thoughts come out of my mouth.

I hope that happens more often.
I'll just have to watch what I think.