relationships, jelousy and whining

[jester]

What is it about people.

Man has a problem with one particular woman and he complains about women in general.

Pixiejester has a relationshiop problem with a bloke and she blames men in general.

Relationships are hard work and jelousy is very very evil.

Jelous people have miserable lives and they blame their partners for their misery.

If you don't trust your partner, get a better partner. It isn't about trust though, it's about possessiveness.

I have been a very jelous possessive person and I have dated jelous and possessive people.. They are the pits. You can't talk to another person without being accused of favouring them, fancying them, being more interested in them. Jelous people drive their partners away.

It doesn't matter how much you reassure or try to make a jelous person feel secure, it will never be enough.

Jelous people need to accept that they are the person with the problem. They do my head in.

The truth is, miserable people are no fun to be with, and that's why they are insecure, because they aren't big enough to pull htemselves together and try being nice and fun just for a change.

just for a change.

If you are insecure and jelous then you should act immediately.

Either end it or deal with it. If he's worth keeping it's worth not making his life a misery. If he's not worth the effort then for your own sake dump him and move on before he gets fed up and confirms your worst fears by dumping you.

When you are jelous, insecure and miserable, almost everybody else becomes much more fun to be around...

I was once in love with a jelous person. But one day I just walked away, so angry, so resentful, so pissed off. I don't hate them, but I don't stay in the same room as that person if I can help it. I wouldn't answer an SOS from her if her life depended on it. I would struggle to dial 911 if I saw her in need of medical help, not resentment, just sheer indifference and I would confuse their anguish with all the emotional blackmail.

[pixiejester]

Why are men jerks? It's alright for them to talk to/about their exes, but not us. And why can't they understand the word 'no' you put them on a sex ban and they can't accept that it's like an easier way of dumping them. Then they have to eye up every girl they see, and are proberly rating them out of 10 in their heads, if they aren't doing it aloud - with you there. And those stupid porn magazine's just encourage them to repeat 'I'd do her' and 'I wouldn't kick her out of bed' ect.
Then after talking about their exes or girls they've done, they wonder why you no longer trust them. Hello, you just told me you cheated on pervious girlfriends, why shouldn't I trust you? Not only that, but you pay more attention to other girls then you do me, unless you want sex. I hate men, I'd rather be single all my life then have that crap.
Take this guy's advice. 'Anything that makes your girlfriend unhappy is wrong. You have a barrier of trust between you that can't be broken. If you can't keep to it, then you shouldn't be with her.'

Anyways how can you trust a guy who's completely smashed up your confidence, stills sees some of the girls he bedded, and I bet theres more that I don't know about, and doesn't listen to you and moans whenever you have a problem. If my guy was less of any of that, especially if he listened more, I would not be sat here maoning to you lot.
And most of the time it is the partners fault, I didn't want to hear about his exes and people he shagged but he had to carry on telling me, despite me saying the first times that I don't like it, he's only got himself to blame for not listening to me.

[jester]

Originally posted by pixiejester
Why are men jerks? It's alright for them to talk to/about their exes, but not us. And why can't they understand the word 'no' you put them on a sex ban and they can't accept that it's like an easier way of dumping them. Then they have to eye up every girl they see.....

Women can decide whether they have sex with their partner or not. It isn't very smart to simply withdraw sex and hope they'll take the hint if you want to dump your partner. Sure it will alert your partner that something is wrong, but he isn't going to just walk away, he'll want to deal with it... in which case you still have to dump him.

And if the man is dumped he can talk to who he likes can't he?

[pixiejester]

Yes, but I haven't dumped him, so no.

And as for this crap

If you don't trust your partner, get a better partner. It isn't about trust though, it's about possessiveness

A relationship is built on trust, not on who possesses who. No one possess me, I am no ones property. Just because you're married and stuck with being someone elses property for the rest of your life does not mean other relationships work like that. I don't need to possess a guy, I need to trust him.

[mini mansell]

ex's

I have a few ex's who i still talk to.

in fact one of them is the secretary of a company i am a director to.

i would think any Girlfriend who was so insecure that she could not cope with me talking to an ex girlfriend. had problems she has to cope with. not me.

i would not ask a girlfriend to stop contacting any of her old friends.
why should she ask me to. and if those old friends are ex girlfriends. whats the problem


and yes i would be comfortable the other way round as well


Mini

[pixiejester]

I didn't have problems until I started dating my guy, so it's his fault. And if he wanted to make/keep me happy then he should do what I say, otherwise I can't mean that much to him. He knew at the beginning I was uncomfortable about him talking about/to these girls, but he chosed to ignore it and now, because of it, all we do is row. His fault.
But then again, we both could do better. I could find myself someone who listens and wont make me feel insecure, and he can get himself someone who wont give him crap. I am surprised he has not done that already.

[gav]

I sincerely hope that you are at least half joking.

[pixiejester]

Me? No I'm not joking, Why did I say something funny?

[pixiejester]

If he had bothered to listen to how I felt to start with I wouldn't have a problem with him talking to other girls.
He was married for 5 years, but it ended because he cheated on his wife. That is the lowest thing anyone can do. His wife was meant to mean the world to him, but she didn't. If that's how much his wife meant, then how much do I mean to him, I'm just his girlfriend, and he has cheated on some of his exes.
But to tell me all the details when I didn't want to hear them. I didn't want to know how his past girlfriend got off while he was driving. I didn't want to know about the whore he cheated on his wife with. I didn't want to know all that. It's still his fault, and if he really cared about me he would stop it and show he cares for me insteading of blaming me for not trusting him.

[mini mansell]

you,

this is all down to your insecurity trying to determine his actions.


if you dont trust him
leave him

if you do trust him then STFU.


seems a simple system


Mini

[Lee Nelson]

or you can spice it up a bit more by writing a letter to Jerry Springer or some other talk show program so we can not only read about your insecurities we can also watch them unfold. Your relationship or lack thereof can be manipulated by ruthless producers and the world can give you the self affirmation your seeking. Then they can tell you that everything you think you know is absolutely right and you deserve so much better because your special.

Feel the Love
Lee

[jester]

Your boyfriend sounds like a bit of philanderer, but I can only go by what you have written. However you are airing dirty laundry and I'm not sure he would want other people to know some of this stuff.

Does he tell you about his exes just to boast and wind you up? Is he putting you down, or is he just stupidly saying this stuff thinking you interested in what makes him tick?

And why get jelous. Do you suspect him of philandering with anybody else while he is with you?

If it's who I think it is, I am sure he likes you very much and just does not have either the desire, the time or the energy to philander. He's also a lot older than you are, so he's got a lot of history and has probably forgotten how intense and aggravating relationships can be.

Talk to him.

[pixiejester]

Mini. Please don't talk to me like that. It's not that simple, just because I don't trust him doesn't mean I don't love him, I can't just walk away.

Jester. He doesn't come on here, he doesn't know you lot, so what difference does it make where I post this, or how much I post.
I don't know why he does it, he just does.
He might be, I don't know. I don't what he does on his computer, I don't what he does when he goes out without me, or what he's really saying to other women when I can't hear.
As for that last paragraph, stop making excuses for him, he should have listened the first time I told him not to do it because I didn't like it. Maybe I should have smacked him, that would have taught him a lesson.
And if he listened to me, instead of keeping on at me, I would talk to him. There's no point, he doesn't want to talk or listen to me when I mention our relationship.

[pixiejester]

He doesn't do it to boast, he thinks that by telling me about them, then adding 'but you're much better then them' makes it alright. I think he does it to wind me up, maybe he likes me angry. And if his exes and that whore makes him tick, and not me, then maybe I should leave him. I don't want to be compaired to them.

[UCO]

princess jester

Just the fact you spread your drama on a public site like peanut butter. It is almost to much. The reason I used peanut butter is in reference to when you give it to a dog and the smacking and slurping lasts forever much like your repeat bitching about this dude.
You are a mans worst experience, He should leave you before it gets to harsh and before you start to stalk or boil his pets.
As Said in the name of the thread. This is YOUR relationship YOUR Jealousy, and it is YOU that is whinning.
buy a dildo, and save man kind from another attention deprived princess.