Jokes please.

[seagull]

Perhaps against my better judgment I am asking for Joke suggestions.
My wife and I are doing a monthly gig at a Nursing Home.
I play guitar, we sing and tell jokes. Everyone seems to love the
Banter between us.
Example:
Me: I’m feeling kind of down today.
Wife: Really, what seams to be the problem?
Me: Well, I was just thinking back to that time your father
Caught us in the back seat of my car, you where 16, remember?
Wife: Yes. Blushing
Me: I remember your dad sticking that shotgun in my face and telling me
I could marry you or do 20 years in prison, remember?
Wife: Yes, I remember.
Me: Well, today I would have been released from prison…

Must be clean and something your average 80 something would get.

Thanks for any ideas.

[Stretch]

Will Rogers

Will Rogers, Mark Twin, H.L. Mencken, and Emo Phillips !

[le pire]

let me get this straight...

You want "clean" jokes, but the subject matter of the material you provided is:

premarital teenage sex
physical threat of murder
prison


peut etre j'ai pas compris...


etienne

[seagull]

Re: let me get this straight...

Originally posted by le pire
You want "clean" jokes, but the subject matter of the material you provided is:

premarital teenage sex
physical threat of murder
prison


peut etre j'ai pas compris...


etienne

Bingo!

Who said she wasn't married at the time?
Her dad is a poor shot, I see it as more of a sturn request.
Prison, subject in every great country song.

[le pire]

Re: Re: let me get this straight...

Originally posted by seagull
Bingo!

Who said she wasn't married at the time?
Her dad is a poor shot, I see it as more of a sturn request.
Prison, subject in every great country song.

-extra-marital teenage sex- even better.

-It's a shot gun, you don't need to have great aim (just ask dick cheney)

-Prison is also a subject in many great gangsta rap songs.

Why don't you just perform covers of 50cent? I'm sure the old people will love that.


etienne