busking book

[jesus]

I have received any news letters in a while. Did we chase the entrepreneur away?

[jester]

Tubas or Euphoniums

Rachel.

I have read your book on comedy and eagerly await the sequel for your more advanced students.

Scot and I are having a deeply intellectual debate about Tubas and Euphoniums.

I would like to steal Le Pires Act but replace the Euphonium with a Tuba. Obviously, not being as young or as handsome as Le Pire, nor being able to play either instrument I have a lot of work to do. However, I am optimistic that in the time it takes me to learn the instrument, improve my ladder walking and get used to the colour orange on my clothing that Ettiene will by then be MASSIVE and there will be lots of work for tribute acts, earning almost as much as he does when he is unable to meet the demand for him.

However, Scot thinks that Euphoniums are funnier than Tubas and that I should steal a Euphonium.

I argue that Magritte prefered Tubas but he was a very deep artist and maybe the Tuba is too intellectual (which is why Scot prefers Euphoniums) although ironicly it is far easier to spell.


Will this highly contraversial area be covered in your forthcoming book? Do Chimps play Euphoniums? Will there be a chapter on Chimps.

Please hurry up and publish your new book.

[gav]

It is in fact possible to play a chimp like a euphonium but I'm quite sure you would not like which end you would have to blow into.

[Rachel Peters]

I'm not sure the chimp would enjoy it either. And chimps are very moody and unpredictable. I'd rather make music out of gorillas. They at least look cute playing with kittens, and they're fuzzier.

Interestingly enough, I will be working on a chimp-related project, but not in book form.
Seriously -- I like stories with chimps in 'em.
Jester, I would love to write a new book, but I would have all the trouble and hard work of going through editors, publishers, designers and marketers to get it looking as classy as the first book. I just have so much to live up to now. ...and that aside, nobody's e-mailed me my $32.50 CDN yet!

New editions will come some day, but for the time being I'm working with fish. Fish is where it's at, at the moment. I like rainbow trouts, personally -- I think they're funny, and playable as tubas (as well as great for slapping people with), but I'm actually working with goldfish (not nearly as funny, and frankly, I'm a little disappointed with myself).

-rp

[Rachel Peters]

...and now I'm somewhat interested in exploring the humour of Magritte. He also liked pipes. ...I mean, not-pipes. I mean, pipes that aren't pipes. And people with doves for faces? That's comic gold. ...more so, had they been pigeons, but hey. No one's perfect.

[jester]

Every year the Mayor of Salisbury is permitted to slap his jester around the face with a trout of his choosing. It's his right. Only one mayor has done this to me so far and he used a golden trout (which I took off him and grilled later.) However, I am entitled to demand a banana sandwhich from the council whenever I attend their premises on legitimate business. I do this all the time.

[Rachel Peters]

really?

[jester]

Yes. Really.

[nick nickolas]

the lstest from mr x

Hi Nick,

Yup! It's me again. I've decided to take a one month break and not do any shows. Music is the space between the notes...so a break every now and then is good. It also gives me time to write you emails.

Today's email is about giving the audience what they want. Many performers make the mistake of performing what they like...not what the audience wants. I've made the same mistake before...and still do it sometimes now. I'll give you 2 examples.

Example 1:

It took me 3 years to master 7-ball juggling. For those of you who do juggle, you'll have a good idea as to how frustrating numbers juggling can be. Hours and hours of practice, sweat and impatience. Finally, I mastered it...and added it to my show real quick. I could not wait to blow my audience away with my wonderful juggling. Guess what?

The response I got from the audience was lukewarm. They applauded a little...but I just got the feeling that they weren't that impressed.

Example 2:

I used to perform magic before...and I learnt this really beautiful rope trick. I loved the trick! You could cut a rope and it would just melt back together and then the rope would change color,etc...it was a difficult trick to learn, but I mastered it...and of course, it became a part of my act.

The audience response was awful. Many of them showed signs of boredom and looked like they would rather watch paint dry or maybe listen to their hair grow.

So why did the audience not like the effects as much as I did?

Simple. The audience and the performer view the show differently. They didn't appreciate the juggling and rope tricks as much as I did.

You are the performer. You sweat and toil to make your show as perfect as possible. We all know that some tricks are harder than others, some music is more difficult to play, some moves are harder to master,etc....we all know this.

BUT THE AUDIENCE DOESN'T !!!

They didn't know it took me 3 years to master 7 ball juggling...and even if I told them, they wouldn't really give 2 hoots. The same with the rope trick. They perceive the effects differently.

When I twirl fire, I toss one of the fire sticks into the air and catch it and carry on spinning. It's a simple move...I learnt it in a day...and to me it's nothing much. But the audience always goes "OOOOOHHH" and "AAAAHHH". They think it's difficult...and when you do the move well...the applause is great.

I used to think..."These dumb twits...they don't know what is worth clapping for."

Now...I'm wiser. I try not to make them like what I like. I give them what they want. If they want me to swallow a chainsaw or blow fire out of my ass, you bet I will...or at least try to. I won't think, "It took me 3 years to learn juggling...I'm gonna juggle and you'll watch it whether you like it or not."

In the end, it's all about them. Always.

So watch what tricks get the best audience reactions. Keep these effects as a staple in your show. If you like an effect...and your audience does not...too bad. DUMP IT!

I know it's hard...but you have to. I've actually felt more pain dumping a few tricks than I had dumping a few girlfriends. But that's part of being a performer. It's all about entertainment...giving the people what they want.

Just remember this...If you give them what they want, they'll give you what you want. Applause...and more importantly, MONEY!

That's all...have a good day.

Shawn Leban
P.S - I hope you practice daily. It's essential to success.

[jester]

Juggling the boring way.

I must have that book.

To juggle 7 balls in a way that leaves an audience unimpressed takes an incredible and very special lack of talent....

[jester]

Rachel.

Thank you for your analogy about doves and Magritte.

Now I understand so much more. You are absolutely right. Doves are elegant and artistic and have a completely different feel than Pigeons, which in truth are Doves, but funnier.

Euphoniums are elegant and seriously classy while tubas are fat and vulgar and hilarious for producing tuneful oompah music to accompany flatulance and beer festivals.

I'm going to learn the Tuba. It will work. When I perform my tribute act to Ettiene, I am nowhere near as good looking or young or for that matter, physically lean.

A tuba, would then make a great replacement for the euphonium as that will tell people I am not taking myself too seriously.

Also, when he realises that I am making as much money out of being his actalike as he is out of being the real he, he will have trouble sueing me because I shall point out the differences and say that I am satirising him.

[zoobie]

ROTFLMAO!

[Rachel Peters]

embroidery is where it's at. my hands are killing me.

"Maniacal Monkey Wear"
It's going to be HUGE in France.
Especially after my comedy book hits the international market.

[caricatureguy]

Nice :P

I especially like the nipples and the fez.

[le pire]

who doesn't like nipples and a fez?