busking book

[Rachel Peters]

is it a bird? is it a plane? no... it's just a broken Lego. lying on the carpet.

aaaw, maaaaaaaaan. Now this just feels like work .
I have absolutely no inner monologue, and I think I've stopped caring about the book.

I'm going to go figure out how to pack my Roboraptor for Montreal.

[Frisbee]

HAS ANN BLEW

that is the best Anagram I could come up with...

[martin ewen]

Well I'm back.. Palms raw from swinging on chandeliers, having sprained my hobnobbing muscle and my gregarious gland seriously overtaxed.
I did have a brief moment between bon mots to consider the issue before us and given some perspective it really is a piddling inconsequentiality.
So someone's written a book, with excerpts freely available containing boiler proof advice about the most basic elements of streetcraft.
Of course this individual is deliberately contrived and quite obviously a fiction and proclaims his success is largely the result of a magician turned MARKETING GENIUS who has made A MILLION DOLLARS and has a SCANNED PHOTOCOPY OF A BANK STATEMENT SO THERE.
But really, it's a book. It has advice. Who of us have written a book. Who of us easily could but have not.
The answer to the first question is Gazzo and the answer to the second is everybody else.
Well spotted though Nick, good to know your still snuffling about occasionally freezing and pointing with your nose at newly discovered bullshit like a gamedog.
I know where the server is located, I can cross reference the links servers until i get a match,I can cross reference on a larger scale till I see what else the server hosts
Its not MAGIC
It's

http://www.dnsstuff.com/

I can simply purchase a book via an untraceable third party and socially engineer the rest.
Or without purchasing I can goad them into initiating the farce of trying to apply their copyright from a PO box in singapore. I'm not really that intimidated by cut and paste legalise.

All I need is TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.
And then I'll write a book about it.

[Rachel Peters]

Well, I must say, this has inspired me.
I've just written a how-to book on comedy.
If you could only buy one book in your entire life, make it this one.
Your career and your love life will be incomplete without it.
Simply buying this book --let alone following its advice-- is almost, virtually guaranteed to get you wads and wads of U.S. cash, flowing out every aperture of your being. Seriously. Almost virtually.

Here's a link to my book.
For your limited edition copy, please e-mail $32.50 CDN to my inbox.

Testimonials about how it changed your life are welcomed.

http://www.rachelpeters.net/extra.htm

[Marcus Wilson]

Rachel,

I laughed out loud at your book. Nice Work!!

[jester]

You Laughed?

You clearly have no idea just how serious comedy is.

Rachel, I think your work is going to be seminal. It shall be a landmark to revive the flagging fortunes of the English speaking comedy world.

I had forgotten how funny monkeys are and I'm sure your theory on baboons shall be hotly contested. In fact a paper based on your observations is currently being facsimilied to academic institutions and philosophers the world over.

As it happens, the monkeys made me laugh so much that my head temporarily popped out of my arse and it took an entire troop of vegas show girls sporting purple sequined dungarees to shove it back where it belonged.

Thank goodness for KY gel.

If anybody wants to buy a cheaper, pirated version of Rachels book I shall be selling it outside your nearest subway station from tommorow.

[martin ewen]

.

"The Jane Goodall of comedy"

[Rachel Peters]

Re: .

Originally posted by martin ewen
"The Jane Goodall of comedy"

Oh man. I am so tempted to misquote you in the docu, for my own personal gain... again.

[Rachel Peters]

...actually, it wouldn't be a misquote this time.

[Marcus Wilson]

Rachel,

I looked at your book again and it made me laugh a second time. Jester, I couldnt even make it through your post.

[jester]

Gee.. Sorry about that Marcus. I wrote it in good spirit - I'm sorry if you feel excluded, I wasn't being elitist, I just didn't want to underestimate everybody elses intelligence.

[Rachel Peters]

Originally posted by Marcus Wilson and Jester
Rachel,

I looked at your book again and it made me laugh a second time.

It shall be a landmark to revive the flagging fortunes of the English speaking comedy world.

Aw, so touched. I got choked up. ...well, I was eating raw fish skin at the time. That always makes me gag a little... but I'm pretty sure it was from the emotions this time.

Rachel C. Peters, Author.

PS: compliments are nice and everything, but where's my $32.50 CDN?

[Patrick Kelly]

Rachel,
I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I found it intriguing, however it was quite concise. I would, however, like to take a stand on behalf of the baboons of the world. I really get sick of this kind of talk about baboons not being funny. This kind of talk about baboons perpetuates the stereotypes portrayed in society and is completely untrue.Take for instance the book "Semmian Sanity" by Bobby Baboon. This was one of the finest pieces ever produced by a monkey of any type. It is a factual biography of the great baboon known to all only as"OOOOeeeeeny". Here is an excerpt:

" I (OOOOeeeeeny) sat quetly among the great tribe of elder baboons. It was quit a serious event, you see it was here that Lenny 's fate was to be determined. Lenny had been picking bugs from one of the elder's wives. His hand 'slipped' and had grabbed one of the wife's big baboon breasts. This was quit a serious situation , as you can well imagine. Just before the main elder Red Rump was to start the proceedings, I slipped a whoopie cushion underneath Red's bottom and it let out an enourmous sound. There was dead silence for what seemed like an eternity. Then everyone burst into simultanous laughter. This broke the tension and a good time was had by all. Except Lenny who was found guilty and banished from the tribe"

So in conclusion, I must insist that you refrain from making such untrue statements. Thank you.

[Rachel Peters]

My apologies for the offense I've caused.
I should revise my book in the second edition, with a disclaimer that I have not met all baboons, and can only speak of the primates I have personally come in contact with. Perhaps it was an isolated incident.
I admit that their bums are humourous, but try pointing that out to one of them . That's what started this whole mess in the first place.
In publishing statements about the behaviors of all baboons, as a group of peoples, I suppose I assumed that no baboons would be reading my book, making it safe --much like mocking the Amish in a death metal music video.
Again, I did not intend to offend.
...mainly because I did not intend for any of them to find out.

Sincerely,
Rachel C. Peters, Wicked Awesome Author, Esquire.

[jester]

Rachel.

I have studied monkeys and apes and humans exhaustively for decades.

Apes have humour and can be funny if they desire. Monkeys are just simply funny but have no sense of humour.

Apes and Monkeys, like humans are viscious, aggressive, monkeycidal, apicidal and sometimes homicidal.

Barbary apes can be very confusing cos some of them have tails and some of them don't, but even the ones without tails are in fact monkeys and not apes.

What I do know is, Monkeys and Apes who live in a sanctuary called monkey world are intelligent enough to know that humans are not allowed to give them crisps. They are also brilliant at emotional blackmail and begging for crisps and my favorite Orangutan used to show people how to give him crisps without being caught, using his mate to distract the CCTV cameras.

If you obeyed the rules he would sigh, put his hands on his hips and express his disgust at ones teachers petness.

Baboons are in fact monkeys but are easily as intelligent as most apes. They in my opinion do have a sense of humour and in the wild, their arses are actually quite dull. It is only when humans are watching that they sport the brightly coloured funny bottoms. A Baboons arse is like a clowns red nose and massive shoes. Some clowns have abnormally long feet, but most just wear fake shoes. Some clowns have silly red noses, others have to buy prosthetic appendages to stick on the front of their face.

I hope this wealth of wisdom will help you in further publications.