I heard.....

[jesus]

OK, I quit the Jiffy Lube and have two weeks before I hit the road to do shows. In my boredom I check P-net looking for thrills.
So here is my idea for cheap entertainment:
Write a lie about the person that has posted just before you in this thread.
This is your chance to put your creative side to work. How outrageous can you get.
One rule; nothing that could become fact. (Unless its about Jester)
Have at it.

PS. Martin please try not to write a novel.

[Lynneski]

I heard that Jesus is the Son of God.


Pretty outrageous and unfactual, if ya axe me.

[pablo]

As in Monica...

I heard that Lynneski's nickname is "Lewinsky".

[Frisbee]

I hear that Pablo is no Picasso

[Spike McGuire]

I hear the only thing in the entier world Frisbee is affraid of is Chuck Norris, and his fear is justified.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

I heard Spike doesn't have a website, which would have made it a lot easier to check him out and make up some decent, custom lies about him. (There IS, however, a rumor that once a year he dresses up in a green miniskirt, and goes door-to-door giving out flowers.)

[Evan Young]

I heard that taxi trix got his name from actually turning trix in his taxi.

[Rachel Peters]

I heard that Evan can only eat one egg.

[Stephon]

I heard that almost everything on Rachel opens with a zipper.

[Doctor Eric]

I heard that Stephon has vaginas on his shoulders, and penises growing out of his ears and ?#@!s himself like a valley girl reciting the Gettysburg Address.

[Marcus Wilson]

I heard Doctor Eric became a doctor inorder to perform a sex change operation on himself.

[scot]

I heard marcus wears that bowler as a condomn to protect us all from his fertile imagination. I'm glad I haven't fallen victim.

[jesus]

I heard that the mob cut the last T off of Scot's name because he owed Christopher Walken a bunch of cash.

[Lynneski]

I heard jesus will not survive.

http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2005/12/jesus_will_surv.html

(click the link then click to download the video I Will Survive, dang it. I ain't getting no website just so I can make it easy on ya)

[Peter Voice]

I heard Lynneski was out of the pole-vault at the Beijing Olympics due to a wrist injury (or was that the long jump?).