most adorable kid in the world...

[le pire]

I did a show the other day and this little boy who was no older than four comes up to me after the show and says "hello, my name is isaac, in French that would be "ee-sak." I do not speak much French but I know "please" is "s'il vous plait" and "thank you" is "merci." I almost fell over, it was SOOOO adorable. This has to be the most polite and charming child I have EVER met in america.


etienne

[Mr Qwirk]

i was working a festival in France over the summer, and a 5 or 6 year old girl came up after one of my shows and gave me a picture she had drawn of me....

i still have it.




better than money......

[Lee Nelson]

you cant spend a memory

[Mr Qwirk]

you can only spend money once....

[Lee Nelson]

exactly

[Rachel Peters]

Performers are very influential and can have a huge impact on kids.
I remember meeting an old magician after a show when I was about 11, and I told him how much I wanted to do something like that. He took my hand and examined it and told me I had perfect magician hands. And later that day he came back with a pile of his old books and have them to me, with strict rules and instructions on being a magician. ...that was huge in my life, even though it wasn't magic that I ended up pursuing.
but yeah -- you guys have a lot of power.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

I was walking stilts today at Westchester Country Club. A mom, tall as a tree, and built like a stick, as per membership requirements, shimmered up with a trophy toddler on her hip. We made some chit chat, and I put my hand out, for the kid to slap me five. He glanced down at his hand, which I then noticed was parked on his mom's right tit, and, giving me a look, a prize of a look, that said "what are you, fucking nuts?", declined my offer.

Understanding completely, I withdrew my hand.

[Rachel Peters]

I started sponsoring a five year old girl in Ethiopia a while back, and I wanted to send her a cool gift as my first introduction. I spent a lot of serious time thinking about it. As I was opening my first package from World Vision, to find out who she is and about her family situation and stuff, I was telling a friend how I’d draw a portrait of the picture they send me. In mid-sentence I glanced down at the photo (attached). I didn’t stop laughing for a long time. My abs hurt. My cheeks hurt. I stuck it to the fridge and chuckled every time I passed it. There’s no way I could draw a touching, sentimental picture of that! It looked like someone pulled her out of bed or away from her only toy to take this friggin photo. Every time I feel a little too good about myself I look at this photo to remind myself of how much she hates me. Her scowl is as if to say, “You really think your monthly pocket change is going to help?? …You ignorant, rich Westerner, suckling on your café mocha latte frapacrapachino.”
I was so glad I had gotten a girl with attitude. I think this kid is going places.
I can relate to this photo. It looks exactly like many that were taken of me as a kid. It was the only way I could get away with being absolutely defiant. Nobody can MAKE me smile.
Anyway, I rerouted my gift plans and decided that a baby doll might be safe for some 5 year old girl I’ve never met. I set out to find a good doll. I needed something that wasn’t too Western. Not a Cabbage Patch Kid, not a Barbie, and certainly not a Bratz doll. Just a plain, sweet baby. But not white. I’m not mailing her a blonde haired, blue eyed baby. ………..that decision put a huge stick in the spokes of my plans. Do you know how hard it is to find a black baby doll in stores? There were a few certain brands in the states, but for some reason they weren’t sold in Canada, and I couldn’t seem to get them off the internet either. Toronto prides itself on being a mosaic of cultures and colours – in fact, pasty white Anglo-Saxons and Germans such as myself are now the minority in this city. …I still couldn’t find an African doll, unless I went to an over-priced specialty store. And even then, most of them weren't cute.
I finally found a nice, new doll on ebay. It was sweet. It was perfect. It said it smelled like baby powder. It was reasonably priced. I bought it. It came to my door. …It was then I realized that it was an anatomically correct baby boy.
………………………………I’m not sending that to Ethiopia. I am NOT going to be responsible for educating a stranger’s child in that way.
So, for a long time I’ve had this doll sitting in my room. It’s cute and all, but I don’t like people thinking I’m a fancy-pants doll collector. I’m much more into robots and barnyard animals.
My sister has a couple kids. She has a three-year-old daughter. She’s an absolute girl’s girl. She loves princesses and ballerinas and …dolls! Her favourite colour is pink, her favourite word is “pink”, and her favourite food is pink (I find it all very hard to understand). I told my sister I had the perfect doll for her. It was really cute. …It just happened to have a wiener. She said, “Yeah well, they draw kids with wieners on their Magnadoodle all the time anyway.”
So, upon my sister’s blessing and inspection, I wrapped it up and gave it to my niece for Christmas. Today I asked her what her favourite Christmas toy was. “Baby Sammy”. Rock on. It seems the little, doll pajama buttons are too hard for her pudgy, three-year-old fingers to undo, so she has yet to discover Baby Sammy’s secret. That’s fine by me.
I mailed some other stuff to my Ethiopian girl. I’ve given up on the doll search. I think I’ll mail her a soccer ball next.
She was probably getting too old for a doll anyway.

[le pire]

Rachel,

Thanks for that post... I was laughing for about 15 minutes straight, would look at the photo again, and then laugh for another 15 minutes.

The new "cutest kid" for me is my sister's daughter Jessica. She's now 20 months old and my sister's house is "child proofed" with gates across every doorway where she is not supposed to go. I would pick her up and have her walk along the gates like a tightrope walker and even do turns. When she would dismount she would take a bow and say "je suis l'acrobat!"

We would also do "contortioniste" and I would stretch her into splits and fold her legs past her head. If you did this to me I would probably scream, but she just laughed and laughed and would say "je suis con-tor-iste!"

etienne

[Rachel Peters]

My four year old niece recently educated me on how hard life was in the olden days.

She told me that in the olden days, before they had diapers, all they had to use was staples.

[Rachel Peters]

Yesterday I joined my sister's family for and omlette lunch.

6 year old Nathaniel scowled at his plate, turned to his Dad and said, "But what if I don't L-I-K-E it?"

My sister inturrupted with an excited, "Nathaniel? Guess what!!"

"What!!" (as if he was getting a treat)

"...I can spell!"

His long, drawn out reaction was priceless. Connecting the dots... and then, "ooooh, crap. I'm a dork."

Then, of course, I followed with, "What, you don't ...LICK it? ...I don't get it."