Martin Kicks Arse

[jester]

What? You're not really going to shoot me?

Nah I'm sorry Dr Eric. I was a little concerned when Firegirl went off on one. I had this horrible feeling there were real tears. Turns out it's all fine and dandy.

Cool.

Fucking hell you're articulate aren't ya. What so you think maybe I should give up then? You think I might be on a hiding to nowhere? Well that proves that you really do think sometimes. I think I kind of got there a long time ahead of you.

It wasn't Martin I really wanted. It was YOU!

Yes you are the subject of my unhealthy fixation but you aren't as easily baited. I can't be arsed to explain right now it's late.

While Martin is far funnier, he can't resist filling in the loop holes. Now a hole is a hole so you can repeat arguments over and over and he keeps filling the fuckers in. So it wasn't much effort. Oh and of course Martin made it fun. And he has the respect and love of everybody here, so it was bound to attract attention.

You however have predatory patience and you know when you are being baited.

I'll explain tomorow.

Sorry I wasn't funny, but face it, you enjoyed the image of me jumping and down grinning gleefully with everything you threw at me.

What I really find funny, is how come you never got suspiscious that it was all too easy?

Don't worry, I don't want to shoot you. BTW That image of me with the target on my head has been distributed a long way. It's not quite the I Hate Elvis Badge of 59 but hey. I'm notorious.

[firegirl]

GUYS WHO TAKE LONGER IN THE BATHROOM THAN I DO...

gah. you men - you're worse than women...

it SLAYS me that you think i was actually was in tears about something which was written on p.net.

it was oddly sweet that you were concerned - but, it was misfounded.

i joined these boards shortly before eric did & have only ever taken them with the HUGE EFFING grain of salt which they deserve to be taken.

there are about 9 or 10 people on p.net who know me, personally; and, i'm sure they can join with me in finding the thought that i would let something said on p.net destroy me or make me cry damn hysterical.

not just hysterical. DAMN HYSTERICAL.

i have a friend who has told me recently: "kate, you are not a bitch... you are THE bitch." he feels so strongly about that statement that he has made me a shirt which proclaims it.

i've also been told that one of my most redeeming qualities as a human is that i treat men the way that men treat women...

which i'm not so sure is a compliment.

that aside - jester - i assure you that you have in no way, shape or form hurt my feelings. nor has anyone on p.net... my experiance w/martin was similar to eric's... and, while he makes me fume - it's mostly because he's bested me with words. which isn't easy.

what i don't understand is where you surmised that i was upset by something you said... or, that someone else had said. i posted quite clearly that i was not upset or affected past being annoyed...

the person who was made to cry is a friend who no longer peruses the forums; because, she is rather overly sensitive and takes everything too seriously. someone called her a name & she flipped out, called me in new orleans sobbing.

i explained to her she shouldn't take it seriously... she didn't like it here so she left.

that was a little extreme - but, it happened. and, it wasn't me.

i'm tough as nails, baby.

oh and magrat's language thing... slang reads stupid. subculture aside - you can't get into college if you write your essay in ebonics... and, the advent of individuals who think that it's acceptable not to learn how to speak a language properly is a symptom of the dumbing down of our culture.

you'll find most sucessful, intelligent individuals agree with me... regardless if they are from the upper or percieved lower class of our country.

like i always tell my improv students - you have to understand how to play by the rules before you can go around breaking them.

and, magrat's lack of substance mixed with her colorful colloquiums and her general screwed up syntax belies her intelligence.

she sounds like a little punk-faced raver kid... not a good image to evoke when trying to intimidate another into submission.

BY THE BY... eric cash.
you know i adore you... BUT...
do you know how fucking painful it is to be kicked in the overies? let me put your testicles into a vice, yank them through your legs, over your shoulder and rest them in your open - screaming - mouth... that would be comprable.

they are harder to get at, yes... but, just as sensitive - if not more so.

you men - you think you are the only ones with delicate parts.

bah, i say.

now i want sushi.

[Doctor Eric]

You know Jester, you remind me alot of the kid in the neighborhood that jumps on his huffy and hit's his homemade ramp at top speed. He usually sails ever so gracefully through the air, as his bike does the same, but in the opposite direction, lands smack on his face, skids about two and a half feet on what's left of his nose, and then leaps up screaming, in a defensive wail "I meant to do that!"

The analogy goes even further because once no one is looking, he kicks the ramp and mutters "Why do you hate me?"

Oh well, calisthenics are over, I'm off to the comedy club.

[Doctor Eric]

" let me put your testicles into a vice, yank them through your legs, over your shoulder and rest them in your open - screaming - mouth... "

Okay, but then I get to be top, right?

[firegirl]

smart ass.

bitch - you know i'm in charge!

you guys shouldn't have bailed the other night... it got incrediably... um... SURREAL.


heh.

[Peter Voice]

How low can you go

Just as an off shoot of this conversation, I was wondering if it's too far below the belt to tell Jester about the $1,525 a day gig I just pulled for a couple of weeks in sunny Sydney and Queensland. I mean, I just don't want overstep the line here or anything. After-all, he did imply that I wanted to kick him whilst he was down.

What's the weather like in England at the moment, anyway?

[le pire]

Originally posted by jester
I'm laughing because Magrat spoke to you in a genuine form of English, a subculture, the sort of thing you get grants if you perform shakespeare in it, and you thought she couldn't spell.

Having spent CONSIDERABLE time in England...

here is the lauded subculture that speaks like a txt msg, innit:

[Doctor Eric]

Dibs on the pregnant one.

[Magrat2005]

Jesta- I will back off in my own time, dont tell me what to do, and what the hell makes you think I was doing it for you? I wasnt, I was making my opinion cuz she piss' me off

firegirl - I will spell how I want to, if I want to Jester with an 'a' at the end, I will, if I want to spell because as 'cuz' I will, I'm not gonna say sorry to you CUZ I meant everything I said, and this thread was funny 'till you started posting in it, now how about we just put it aside, - oh yeah, I am kissing Jesta's arse, nothing wrong with that, is there?

Peter- I havent told people what they can post and what they cant, thats a load of crap

[Peter Voice]

What really has me hooked on this thread is the number of posts where people have to explain/justify themselves. The insecurity is tangible.

PS. Magrat you didn't answer my question about whether you actually knew any-one here at p.net or how the weather was in England right now. Just wondering.

Going to bed now but I do look forward to tonights 17,316 words of sanctimonious justification of the existance minor life forms.

Hey, Jester. Did you really log on the moment you woke? I mean before breakfast et al. You must be really anxious to see what we've been saying.

And you reckon we are predictable.

Good night.

[jester]

Congratulations Peter $1,500 a day!

I hope they let you collect a hat to top it up.

I'm not quite going to put out the begging bowl yet. I just won my third holiday this week and apparently that's worth at least £2,000.

Maybe I should just tell you that, right now, I'd work in Sidney if they only paid my expenses.

Ettiene, you bin to some sad parties innit. One a dem blings is specting ainshee. Whos da daddy? Txt language is a valid language and no matter how the older 20 somethings tutt, the youth of today will show no respect for your grammatical sensibilities.

In the immortal words of Ade Edmundson: "Hif you want to hopen a bank Account you haf to look SMART!"

[jester]

CONSIDERABLE time in England.

You lived in caravan parks (like trailer parks but it's a holiday not a lifestyle.) You didn't see the villages, the rural ghettos, the inner city estates, the rabbit hutches and the incredibly rich underclasses. You probably never saw the graffitti and probebly didn't hear the slam poetry, the break dancing and all the other cultural things we borrow from the rest of the world.

England is a big place and you didn't see it all.

Even I haven't seen it all and I've been here for over 20 years on and off.

[Peter Voice]

I'd take the holiday if I were you

[jester]

Originally posted by Peter Voice
Hey, Jester. Did you really log on the moment you woke? I mean before breakfast et al.

Good night.

Yes. I even got up in the middle of the night just to find out how much you were earning. I live for this, it's the only joy I have. There is nothing else, my world is a VDU connected to the stars of the worlds streets.. Sob!

[jester]

Originally posted by Peter Voice
What really has me hooked on this thread is the number of posts where people have to explain/justify themselves. The insecurity is tangible.


Good night.

What really has you hooked on this thread is you are addicted to Jester. I am evil, I am like nicotine. I do you no good at all, but you need the unpleasant sensation of nausea that arises everytime you stick you nose into my thread for just one last time.

Some bastard is selling Jesterette patches which create a similar sensation, but it isn't enough for you Peter is it. Go on.. Walk away.. hide in your little room with no Jester, but as soon as you come out, the odour of jester shall entice you....

Hahahahah!