But man?

[le pire]

Hi Lucky John,

You're new here, so just so you know, Jester has a go at everyone and vice versa but it's all in good fun. Of course, if you don't know this it's going to look absolutely brutal and mean spirited. Sure, we could add smileys, but then it just looks lame 'cause real men don't use smileys.


Welcome to Pnet.


etienne

[le pire]

Magrat,

I'll never apologize!!! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!


etienne


p.s. boys will be boys...

[jester]

Hmmm.

Actually, a lot of history has been written down and the history of Jesters is not so mysterious or difficult to trace as many historians down the ages have studied and written on this very subject.

Jesters moved in literate circles so even in the dark ages they got noted. And had just one been executed it would be a very well know fact. Many "Unfortunates" have been beaten to death but they aren't jesters (although jesters filled their role.)

I mentioned Will Sommers because he really did piss off the Bishop. There are however plenty of others. You know very very little about Jesters and history, as do most street performers.

I could mention Scogan who pissed off king Edward and got banished to France after faking his death to avoid debts, made a good living in France, but got homesick, then returned under pain of death, legally and wittily outmanouvred the king (who was trying desperately not to have to actually execute him) and got a pardon.

The Terms of his banishment were "If you ever set foot on English Soil again you will be killed."

So he returned but filled his boots with French soil first so he was always treading on French soil.

There is also Archie Armstrong who until 2003 was the only Jester in England ever to appear in court in full motley on a "Contempt of Court" charge after he told a bishop to go to hell (which is not a thing you could say in those days, especially to a bishop.)

I am the only other Jester in English history to match that, except I wasn't stripped of my motley and I wasn't slung out of the court, although I did raise my voice at the judge and literally dared him to overuse his powers. Although I pleaded guilty, he was unable to punish me without making himself the first judge to be guilty of "Contempt of Jury" which isn't actually an offence but it is what I charged him with and the evidence against him was overwhelming. The media would have crucified him if he had punished me.

Had he punished me I would have made every national newspaper, but he simply dismissed with a very lame reprimand so I only made the local and regional news. I can honestly say though that I won and he managed the most dignified defeat, once he knew I'd won (which was less than a minute after letting me speak.) I don't know if the defendant is supposed to interrogate the judge, but I did, and he indulged me by attempting to publicly defend the position of the court, which he wasn't prepared for.

He was on to a loser when the police came to arrest me and when they realised he was using his powers needlessly refused to actually arrest me and allowed me to go to the court on my own terms.

Judge Anthony Davies QC made a rather embarrassing mistake, but once he realised it, he took the inevitable hiding with dignity and stopped it before it got out of hand. And in that sense the bastard outmanouvred me. I won the battle and he refused to fight a war.

As for breaking my arms.

Do you think I cannot type with my toes?
Do you think I would not use the tip of my nose?
I would blink to a secretary in Morse Code
All just to talk to you Sad Bozos.

As for the humour, everybody knows that geneticly modified tangerines are not nearly as funny as rubber chickens. However, you are not a rubber chicken. What can I do?

[le pire]

I know a bit about history, but admitidly not much jesters, because that's not my bag, baby. I do know about Will Somers, like everyone other hack and am relieved that you've heard of a few others. You've gone up a notch in my book, although that's really not saying much.

Thanks for the nice little story about how you showed that judge, but you've told us before. We know, we know, you've got the biggest puntley. But again, you tell us in the dryest, dullest fashion. )sigh( C'mon Jester, give us some details, use some metaphors, give us something to sink our teeth into. Instead of just a dry recitation of the facts and shameless chest pounding.

You're like a glass of prune juice after a baked bean dinner.


etienne

[Magrat2005]

you're not gonna turn this into a history lesson are you? please don't....history doesnt really interest me....time for a topic change

[le pire]

Well jester certainly has proved time and time again he can turn an interesting thread dull in a single post...

[Magrat2005]

hahahaha....I didnt say it was dull, I said history dont interest me...unless you guys want to chit chat about Henry VIII and Elizabeth I.....then I suggest we change topic

[Doctor Eric]

Might I interrupt?

Okay, that just bugs the !@#? out of me. Magrat, there is no such word as "forfill" dammit. F-U-L.
I thought the english were supposed to be better at this sort of thing...


Now you can go back to debating which one of you is more boring, sorry to intrude.

[Magrat2005]

I checked the lyrics, and your right Eric, I did spell 'forfil' with one to many 'L's' as for the 'u', I can think of several words to put in front of that....

[MissFire]

Hi guys!

I've been coming to this site for years and just never posted before. What ever happened to Trevor Rooney? That guy's a classic....

I loved that tale of the guys in the wheelchairs having a fight. Sick. By sick, I mean, choice.

See ya

MissFire

[jester]

Yeah!? Well prune juice has far more comic potential than geneticly modified tangerine juice.

[Magrat2005]

Originally posted by MissFire
Hi guys!

I've been coming to this site for years and just never posted before. What ever happened to Trevor Rooney? That guy's a classic....

I loved that tale of the guys in the wheelchairs having a fight. Sick. By sick, I mean, choice.

See ya

MissFire

*waves* hello!!!!

*trying to change subject* whos Trevor Rooney?

[Magrat2005]

Originally posted by jester
Yeah!? Well prune juice has far more comic potential than geneticly modified tangerine juice.

prune juice is nasty.... anything thats geneticly modified can be made to look lovely....including tangerine juice....prune juice is nasty.... (I'm in a werid mood)

[scot]

I think everyone kind of lost interest when you stopped talking about me.

[jester]

Sorry Scot.

We humble support acts were just trying to fill space until you came back.

Over to you......