Is This The 600th Thread?

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  • Rumpelstiltskin
    Senior Member
    • Nov 2001
    • 4128

    Is This The 600th Thread?

    Blimey! I was riding my bike today & nearly stacked because something landed in my eye. I quickly jumped off my bike & found a little mirror & noticed an ant was stuck in the corner of my eye. I tried to get it out & then it quickly crawled along my eyelid & then back into the cormer of my eye again. Lucky i had a bit of rag in my bag as my hands were dirty because they had grease all over them as my old rickety malvern star chain on my bike keeps slipping off at times when i go over bumps.
    Anyway i got the ant out, but my eye was a bit bloodshot for a while after that.
    Cheeers for now!
    The weasel has to go!
  • Butterfly Man
    Senior Member
    • Dec 2000
    • 1606

    #2
    if thy right I offends me ...

    In the land of the blind juggler the one eyed jester is king.

    Comment

    • Rumpelstiltskin
      Senior Member
      • Nov 2001
      • 4128

      #3
      The Kangaroo Jester Of Oz

      What a drag that jester comp, for the first professional jester in 350 years in England was such short notice!
      There were only 7 contestants that went in it aswell. I would have stood a good chance by crikey! Would have looked good by crikes...to have the first professional jester in 350 years on my resume. I would have definately been there if i was given more notice. Blimey! I would have had my foot in every castle door in the world for the rest of my life, with a quote like that! What a frigggin' bummer!
      Oh well! I might not have even got in! We all know how hard....'hard nosed' big wigs who run the show on the door can be.
      The big headache....would be trying to get into England again with all my stuff, just so i could actually be allowed to go in it. Bureaucracy can be so unimaginative, mechanical and extremely boring!
      They should let the jesters & clowns go for it, instead of trying to make them feel like criminals for wanting to spread a bit of joy in the world. Britain, no doubt is great for comedy, but where's the sense of humour, for not letting in a harmless weasel jester?
      Australia is the same and so is America. It's ironic that these Anglo countries are so strict on foreign entertainers coming in, when so much entertainment comes out of these places. Crikey! Send in the clowns and help cheer up the world! It's just so ironic...that my so called mother country...wouldn't even let a weasel jester in, but gives the green lights for nuclear arms to be allowed in. They should give the soldiers at war, clown toys to play with instead of weapons. It would help make people laugh, instead of cry, which would hopefully set off a chain reaction of laughter, far & wide....as to speed up the happiness of the world.
      The knowledge is there, but how intelligent are we all really?
      'Power is fucked!'
      Sometimes when i'm on my travels in foreign countries outside the western world, it's so annoying to see all those fucked up drunken westerners hanging out in droves, behaving like imbeciles, whilst fucking up other countries cultures.
      They deserve the injustices that these people suffer.
      Gorblimey! What a world!
      When will they ever drop a big oestrogen bomb on the world?
      Maybe a bit more matriachy would help balance things out evenly.
      Gosh! It's all too much!
      Let's all try & help convert the world leaders
      to put more resources into regenerating the world,
      as to make our planet, the best it can be....for all of us.
      Come on entertainers, artists, musicians, writers, lawyers & everyone else....let's all make it happen!
      What's the world going to be like.....10 years from now?
      Oops! Should i just try and change the world with my pet rooster?
      I started off on the baby rattle & then progressed to the bauble, but i don't think i want to take on the sceptre.
      Gorblimey! Should i just throw in the towel from being a jester and turn into a top class lawyer?
      Politics is a dodgy game!
      I think i might just
      get lost in the bush
      and become a true loose digit
      and make the kookaburras laugh.
      Love to you all!
      Signing off the undercover jockey jester with the girl's voice!
      P.S. I am the 'under-the-table', Antipodean jester
      with no castle to go to!
      The jester must transcend the castle!
      Rumpel is my name!
      " "

      Comment

      • worldwidese
        Senior Member
        • Dec 2000
        • 510

        #4
        Try, try, again.

        Hi Rumpel!
        Don't be discouraged. If you look back at history, you will see that the good guys have always finally won. Though usually with a lot of mucking around going on in the background. (world wars 1 & 2)

        About the British Jester- check it out at the website from time to time- could be that the new jester cops out and they will be looking for a new one. Already send them an email and links to your website so they have it on file.

        About bringing in your stuff- send it ahead as personal effects by unaccompanied baggage and it will be there when you get there, but in another area. This makes it easy for you to get in with nothing to declare, as long as you don't wear your nose!

        Another way is to get your baggage loaded on and then "miss" your flight, so you go by another flight. Your luggage will be stored for you till you arrive.

        Tell us where we can buy copies of your book? There's probably plenty of p.net guys who would like a copy, juste pour rire!

        Comment

        • jester
          Senior Member
          • Dec 2000
          • 1084

          #5
          BBC, News, BBC News, news online, world, uk, international, foreign, british, online, service



          Hey Rumple. Don't worry about the state jester competition. It was eventually declared invalid.

          English Heritage are having a competition in August but they will from now on refer to the winner as "The English Heritage Jester."

          In truth, had you attended on that day you would most certainly been in with a shout. It would have been even more farcical if you had won it. However, The National Guild of Jesters were furious that so little notice was given and refused to acknowledge it, then neither the government nor the Royal Family would acknowledge it and finally several important people that had been led to believe it was legitimate denounced it.

          Then as soon as the French used the piss poor organisation as an example of why Britain coudn't organise the Olympics as well as they can, a government minister decided that perhaps it was time that English Heritage stopped pretending they had held a fair and open competition.


          I thought the whole farce was hilarious.

          Anyway. Please let me know if you are coming to Britain again. Can The National Guild of Jesters help with your visa application in any way?

          Comment

          • Rumpelstiltskin
            Senior Member
            • Nov 2001
            • 4128

            #6
            The Fool's Holy Grail?

            Crikey! It certainly sounded like a bit of a publicity stunt to me....
            being such short notice and all. I couldn't believe the amount of
            publicity Kester the Jester received after the event.
            I google searched it & there was mention of Kester all around the world,
            even in countries like Saudi Arabia & Ukraine etc.
            It sounded solidly legit after such a publicity tidal wave hit the world after the event, declaring England's first professional jester in 350 years.
            When i heard about it at first, i didn't really take it serious, but
            after the event, i looked it up on the internet & thought 'What a
            bummer! This was the jester's holy grail gig of all time & i missed
            it! What a complete utter fool i am! I may aswell be put in a laughing-stock
            for the rest of my life & be pounded with moldy custard apples!'
            I was guttered!
            I was wondering why there wasn't
            even whisper from the Royal Family.
            I was tempted to make it over,
            but wouldn't have had enough time.
            I wasn't sure about how legitimate it was...
            & ontop of that, it's a lot of money to fork out
            to get to the other side of the world & back.
            I guess the next jester audition in August won't count...
            to be the first professional state jester of England in 350 years...
            or 351 yrs
            so it won't be such a big thrill really.
            I'm not into competition anyway,
            but it would certainly be the best quote a
            jester could possibly want.
            Well it would be a pretty hard one...
            to top that quote.
            I would of perhaps been illegible anyway
            even if it was a legitimate gig...
            as i'm not English.
            I'm kind of a chip off the old block though.
            Blimey!
            It's a joke
            having to feel like
            being an under-the-table jester.
            I'll wave my own jester flag by crikey!
            Strewth! It's hard to pull the wool
            over the 'Big Wig's Eyes'....
            when they see a castle full of junk
            in a 4 wheeled granny trolley on arrival.
            Perhaps that could be an option to get an
            invite from the Guild Of Jester's to come over
            as i don't like to feel guilty for just being
            a harmless jester!
            Oops! I better go
            as the clock counter
            is coming close to a halt!
            I'll get back to you on this one soon!
            Best regards Rumpel!
            ""
            P.S Thanks for your mention in regards to help!
            Last edited by Rumpelstiltskin; Feb-07-2005, 03:22 AM.

            Comment

            • jester
              Senior Member
              • Dec 2000
              • 1084

              #7
              Yes Kester the Jester got a lot of publicity, and so did The National Guild of Jesters.

              Kester however complained and threatened to sue us for not acknowledging his title because while he got headlines, he never made much money.

              He even accused us of making money out of it at his expense.

              I think the reason that The National Guild was really pissed off was because they didn't want people the world over to think of Kester as a good example of an English Jester.

              I don't blame them.

              Comment

              • Rumpelstiltskin
                Senior Member
                • Nov 2001
                • 4128

                #8
                Media Sensation

                I couldn't believe the whole media sensation the event caused wordwide, after declaring the winning jester.
                It made headline news all over the internet.
                Kester the Jester will probably remain the most recognised jester for modern times in living memory now after all that.
                It's bizarre to get so much media attention, when all the English heritage were trying to do really, is find a replacement jester for the one who pulled out before an upcoming event.
                Blimey! Not bad, to get such an overdose of publicity, considering there were only 12 contestants.
                Media hype is such a joke, why do people take it seriously?
                It's not an easy gig to make money out of being a jester full stop (fool stop)!
                I've certainly got til the end of time + oneday to go before i buy my castle. The show must go on! I can't afford to stop!
                The only job i have ever done is being a jester. What a paradox! There's no castles in Australia.
                Where can i find the tradition of jestering here?
                Wouldn't it be a laugh for the tourists in England if they heard a jester with an Antipodean accent doing the traditional jester thing. Oh well! My accent is a bit 'GoOsey', so i guess i pass?
                The essence of the archetype of the jester surpasses fixed tradition anyway, as the ethereal goes beyond the material. Is this a paradox? My guess is as good as yours! P.S Just joking?
                Am i?
                Signing Off Rumpel The Worldly Kangaroo Jester Of Oz!

                Comment

                • Rumpelstiltskin
                  Senior Member
                  • Nov 2001
                  • 4128

                  #9
                  Rumpel @ Circus School

                  It would be good to make it to the next jester audition in August, but i'm now going to circus school at NICA in Australia.
                  Crikes! Going for the title of being the first professional jester of the English state in 350 years would have been worth coming over for, but since it might just be an annual thing, i can come over when i've finished circus school. I guess which ever jester succeeds, gets to do a season of jesting through the English Heritage Society?
                  Would be good to hook up when i'm in Britain next.
                  Thanks for the gig that time, wherever it was?
                  Best regards Rumpel!

                  Comment

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