The Future 1 Trevor Rooney

[Dead Wood Records]

Now I'm going to come in a different way, never have any of you came in this direction and everything we do can change events or make things happen.

Sometimes things are beyond any of our control, it's already forcast the predictions exist, are we to believe in that?

Now some of us are born with a gift, some of us know how to use these gifts to good things, some use the for bad, it all depends on your ulterior motives.

What do you do if you find yourself the kind of person where when people look at you that there's something about you or something they dont like about you.

You cannot use your predictive powers for you own good, you cannot be allowed to see the things that can change you rlife in advance or can you, what happens if you are gifted, are you to fear it.

How the hell does any-one think I did hypnosis show on the street of all places, how did I do that then? There we times when I often wondered my-self when I found it worked, now weirdly since that time when ever I sit on the street between an odd show that i get bigger crowds staring at me, Do they know something, what makes people stand and stare at you when your just smoking a cicarrette having a break. These are the times I relish these are the times when I talk freely about things.

Especially here in Rotterdam where there is every nationality living
Muslims, Moroccan Arab, Dutch, African, just about every culture, these people who see us give us money, so why cant we do this to for our enemies or so called ones.

Why dont the tank drivers just stop driving their tanks, quit an dhave done with it, something bigger than war is coming it will kill lots of people, when it comes the will have been already enough damage and killing done, what happens if there is only a minority of the planet left after they've taken eveything and left hardly nothing to survive on, this includes all the trees and forests too.

It's much easier to shake hands than shoot some-one or blow them up, it's the people responsibility to do this and prepare to save the planet and clean this mess up before America starts on Iran and forces them to launce a proper missile somewhere.

What then.

Who is the terrorist here, the world should share and share alike, if they do this and start evrerything afresh..... If it were possible wipe the slate clean and do what should be done.

The ice caps are NOW rapidly melting Water Shall Great Wonders do, it all ready is look at the flooding all the signs are ther to seea nd what do we do, just complain and try and figure out what WE have done to cause it, are we all fucking stupid or what.

This planet wmust have looked veautifull before stupid bastards like us started getting intelligent............ Well we are not, we have the proof, we are literally cullingthe whole planet including it's wildlife,there are people starving to death who look like walking skeletons millions of them!

Irac this Iran this, North Korea this, Japan that can any of us see whats coming , What then?

Whos going to put a stop to this mayhem, who wiol the great man that will speak, he will not be a man of god , there will be no armageddon it will jsut be over in the end one day.

The planet should be enyoyed to the full , the universe gave us life to make the most of it not look for destroying it, with all these bombs and missiles.

Pollution is an inconvenience, it's totally un-justifed and I am sick to death odf seeing an dhearing the same old stories, and nothing getting better but getting worse at far greater speed than ever before.

The kettle is about to overboil ladies and gentlemen, who's going to switch it off, it's my time now not any body elses, I have something in my hands that will present this message, full blown

put my self at the end of a lazer gun somewhere probably,who knows.

Some-one is going to put a firy dragon in the sky, then some-one else then it will just get out of hand there will be tyranny worldwide, so you bettre know who your friends are and if for that matter have somewhre to go if there is anywhere left.

Some-how I see it, what happens if I am right, what coud I have done about it, what could any of you done about it.

Go an attack me for this any of you it's only my feelings at work and nothing else this script is not borne to attack any of you directly I want to get it off my chest somewhere, before I take the plunge.

What do WE do now


In my eyes it's not the people that's at fault it's the whold frigging goverment sytem it stinks, people should be given their freedom, the news should be switched off! One day it will switch off and the crap and propaganda that we are all being hammered with no longer be there either. What then?


It's a good job we all dont live in the 16th Century or they'd be coming to collect me to burn me on the stake, if you take some of the uncontrolable dribbel that's passed through this place, when I have intentionally answered back, why is there so much competition on here for being the one that stands out, isn't it enough being human.

Don twe all have enough to worry about when you see that there's something coming , something big, something that's either man made or natural.

How do we know than it's all not going to happen in one go, totally out of control, people going crazy, no more law, complete lawlessness, absoulute mayhem.

Trveor Rooney does not go to church he believe sin things and looks far outside what we see, I've been watching it since the day I were born presumebly, I think when you enter as life into the universe you have already experienced it and will keep on experiencing it in some strange fashion.

You me and all the assholes on this planet can never hide from where we came from it will just go on for-ever, so forget trying to be highly intelligent on earth and the best and keep your eyes on the sky. Something is on it's way it's been coming for a long time.

Some-how I know it and if you read these forcasts made in the 14th Century and take the world into account now, that you can always see that there is many a true word written down on paper for centuries.

I hear the BBC news saying:

"As all we have done is formed a nation full of of beggars?"

Now I hear Iran then I hear the west being in Striking distance ethen I read thes ewords again, what happens when it comes all in one go, the whole lot all in one go where do you perform then.

Underground? Whos's going to be there to pay any-one when they're all raping and pillaging, something like this is on it's way.

it's all getting out of hand and every-one is just sitting there listning to all the crap and not having their say, it's really now or never. Some-one must come and go before a great person will come.

I dont go to church I have my own distint beleifs and feelings about why we are here, not so much about what we do, but about leaving my mark, by being up front and confront people who bug me when they know nowt about me at all apart from what they read or hear?

Some even critisize grammer as a mark of thier own intellect, almost as good as hey I can do it better than you, well I dont give a shit my publisher does just fine working out where I'm coming from when I write automatically for ages without stopping without checking, it just pours out, flow would be the word for it.

So despite my bad grammer and age I can remember every single conversation with people to the absolute finest degree, I log converstations and I have placed the them down on paper they are not on this site and will not be

The book will get published and more interst is there for other aspects it's my chance to finally get a messege out that means something with far greater scope than the street could offer in one go or in a life time.

Lots of great shows not many mesages, why. Because it spoils the hat lines? or does it creates a bad atmospehre, what's that then fear? Or is is that people expect people like us to hide behind our costumes and talk about our real feelojg about the goverment within the safety of our own homes or amongst our friends in private.

I promised a good friend Aj that I would do it and I am nearly completed with it all after four years of slog, avoiding the street and paying more attention to the things that matter.

Presenting a message some-way all in one go, to the masses.

Personally I think I have given plenty of messeges to the guys on the street and the public, it has sometimes brought great dividends and also caused some problems and stir amongst many of you.

What none of you did know as I came on the street because I really liked it, not at firts but gradually, I took time, there were many reasons why I met many of you and one main reason was I wanted to write a book about something and push the boat out and try to show what trouble it brings and what you can learn from being out there even to the degree wherew you really dind out who's who and who cares.

In simple terms this in no ordinary book it could go in all kinds of directions, it should give an inclination to being able to see what your running until, shows all the dull signs of love and deceit between two people and how other people who you thought were your friends turned their backs on you for their own good.

What gets me about this tale is that is shows how a story can change, this story is a true life account of some real people with real problems, I gets seen from my veiw point but remembers some ddep conversations and feelings with some very important people, the ones that dont try to treat me like shit on here without a second thought, I will never retract my words on people who'm I know are wrong-full, it's a simple as that.

NOW to this

Our show's combined with these words and ours combine and present some of these messages.

Then there will be more!

[Dead Wood Records]

The Future No 2 Trevor Rooney

Mother Shipton was born in 1488 in a riverside cave at Knaresborough as a summer storm raged. Just a few feet away was the mysterious Petrifying Well - with the power to turn objects to stone as if by magic.
The child was named Ursula Sontheil and from the moment she came into the world it was clear she had strange gifts. She grew up and married a local carpenter but she was not destined to lead a normal life. Her power to see into the future became known across England.

Mother Shipton predicted important historical events many years ahead of their time - the Great Fire of London in 1666, the defeat of the Spanish Armada in 1588 - as well as the advent of modern technology. She even forecast her own death in 1561.

Rock Formations of the Petrifying Well

The Petrifying Well has been available for public viewing since 1630, having been known for its health preserving properties long before the Harrogate spa waters. The water which issues at the Well has a high mineral content and seeps through the Earth's crust via a layer, or stratum, of rock known as an "aquifer". It is released at the point where this rock outcrops at the surface.

Analysis shows that the minerals most abundantly present are calcium, sodium and magnesium, with traces of lead, zinc, iron, manganese and aluminium. These exist mainly in the form of sulphates and carbonates, with some chlorides and a trace of silica. The proportions have remained more or less regular over many years.

When the water emerges into the atmosphere the mineral CALCITE (calcium carbonate) is deposited, along with small amounts of other minerals. Over the years these small deposits build up a crust of new rock.

The appearance and texture of this new rock depend on several circumstances. All minerals are crystalline but the more quickly they are formed, the smaller the crystals are.

TUFA is a soft, porous rock in which the crystals are microscopic. It is the most quickly-formed deposit of the Petrifying Well, growing where a constant flow of air causes rapid evaporation and cooling of the water.

TRAVERTINE is a harder and more compact rock. It forms where the water trickles slowly over a broad area, so that crystals grow continually upwards at right-angles to the surface in a solid mass. From year to year the mineral content of the water may vary slightly and this is seen in a cross-section of travertine in the form of dark and light coloured bands. It can be cut and polished, and is a suitable stone for use in jewellery.
These two types of deposit may merge into each other as conditions vary. The travertine often covers a mass of tufa which has cemented together debris such as dead vegetation or fragmented rock.

Mother Shipton the early years

The voices of those who believe they see into the future are heard most often and remembered in times of great change. Our own time, the beginning of a century and a millenium, is such a one. So it was too on a summer night in 1488 when a young girl gave birth to an illegitimate child in a cave in North Yorkshire. This child was to grow into a woman whose name still carries the mysterious power of prophecy. Why? What was it that made Ursula Sontheil so feared and respected throughout the land and for centuries to come?

No one knows for certain the circumstances surrounding the birth in a cave beside the River Nidd or details of the child's early life. But stories were passed on -lLike the story about the young nobleman who came to ask Mother Shipton if she might foretell his father's death and how soon. He needed money and if he could inherit his father's cash he might escape his creditors.
But Mother Shipton would say nothing to him. Then the young man himself became ill, and his father came for an assurance that his son would recover. She answered him:
"Those who gape out for others' death
Their own, unlooked for, comes about.
Earth he did seek; ere long, he shall have
Of earth his fill; within his grave."
Soon afterwards the young man died. Word went round of her power to foretell the future, perhaps to punish the wicked.
Tales like this increased the awe in which Mother Shipton was regarded. There were rumours of her powers to avenge unkind remarks, to play tricks on those who taunted her. "Witch" some would call her, or "Child of the Devil". She was probably physically malformed perhaps with a crooked spine or a hunch back.
Accounts of her birth all refer to her mother Agatha as an orphan, known to be "slothful and idle". Word was that she was seduced by a handsome charmer who found her dreaming one day on a shady bank.
When she went into labour it was in a shallow cave on the banks of the River Nidd. Close by was the ancient well with waters of mystical powers. Leave a shawl, a broken doll, perhaps even a body in that pool, beneath the trickling curtain of clear water, and they would turn to stone. Even the leaves of the ivy that trailed in a dark curtain over its glistening canopy seemed to whiten and harden as you watched. And it was one of those stifling nights of July when thunder rumbles round the rim of darkness. On such nights are portents seen.
Whatever her true parentage, little is known of the childhood of Ursula Sontheil. But it does appear that when she was about two years old her mother gave her into the care of a foster mother.
Ursula was clearly a bright, mischievous little girl. One of the first stories about her refers to the trouble she caused the woman who looked after her. Finding her front door open on returning from an errand, Ursula's foster mother feared she had been burgled and called her neighbours to join her as she nervously entered the house. They said there had been dreadful wailing noises and they had been prevented by some invisible means from going into the kitchen.The cradle was empty. Ursula was discovered sitting naked on the iron bar in the chimney from which the cooking hooks were suspended. She was smiling happily, "very pleased at these pleasant exploits", so the account records. And so the gossip spread.
"As our Ursula grew up to riper years, she was often affronted by reason of her deformity, but she never failed to be revenged on those that did it."
She must have longed for a husband, just as any other girl did, although her chances must have looked a trifle slim. It was said that she may have used a love-powder or some charm. But whatever means she used one Toby Shipton, a carpenter by trade, paid court to Ursula Sontheil. They were married in 1512,

Then she gave the garments to their rightful owner, curtsied and departed.
It is more than likely that Mother Shipton did indeed know who had stolen the clothes and that she persuaded the thief to return them by using the threat of her mystical, perhaps Devilish powers. Her handling of events like this fuelled her reputation. People began to believe her when she seemed to be foretelling the future, especially when her words were borne out by events:
"Water shall come over Ouze Bridge; and a windmill shall be set upon a tower, and an Elm Tree shall lie at every man's door..."
"Aha," people said, repeating these lines, when one of the local marvels of the day took place. York acquired a piped water system. The river was conducted through pipes laid across the bridge over the River Ouse and a windmill drew up the water. The pipes were made of small tree trunks, bored out like pipes. What's more the trees were elm and elm which unlike other woods do not rot when immersed in water.
Mother Shipton does seem to have disliked pompous dignitaries and the Mayor of York was perhaps unwise to have crossed her in some way, for she was heard to comment:
"When there is a Lord Mayor living in Minster-yard, let him beware of a stab."
A Lord Mayor did indeed come to live in the Minster Yard - one night he was mugged and died of three stab wounds.
Her reputation began to spread beyond Yorkshire. The world of great men began to touch her.

Then there's this See next page

[Dead Wood Records]

The Future Trevor Rooney 3

And now a word, in uncouth rhyme
Of what whall be in future time

Then upside down the world shall be
And gold found at the root of tree
All England's sons that plough the land
Shall oft be seen with Book in hand
The poor shall now great wisdom know
Great houses stand in farflung vale
All covered o'er with snow and hail

A carriage without horse will go
Disaster fill the world with woe.
In London, Primrose Hill shall be
In centre hold a Bishop's See

Around the world men's thoughts will fly
Quick as the twinkling of an eye.
And water shall great wonders do
How strange. And yet it shall come true.

Through towering hills proud men shall ride
No horse or ass move by his side.
Beneath the water, men shall walk
Shall ride, shall sleep, shall even talk.
And in the air men shall be seen
In white and black and even green

A great man then, shall come and go
For prophecy declares it so.

In water, iron, then shall float
As easy as a wooden boat
Gold shall be seen in stream and stone
In land that is yet unknown.

And England shall admit a Jew
You think this strange, but it is true
The Jew that once ws held in scorn
Shall of a Christian then be born.

A house of glass shall come to pass
In England. But Alas, alas
A war will follow with the work
Where dwells the Pagan and the Turk

These states will lock in fiercest strife
And seek to take each others life.
When North shall thus divide the south
And Eagle build in Lions mouth
Then tax and blood and cruel war
Shall come to every humble door.

Three times shall lovely sunny France
Be led to play a bloody dance
Before the people shall be free
Three tyrant rulers shall she see.

Three rulers in succession be
Each springs from different dynasty.
Then when the fiercest strife is done
England and France shall be as one.

The British olive shall next then twine
In marriage with a german vine.
Men walk beneath and over streams
Fulfilled shall be their wondrous dreams.

For in those wondrous far off days
The women shall adopt a craze
To dress like men, and trousers wear
And to cut off their locks of hair
They'll ride astride with brazen brow
As witches do on broomstick now.

And roaring monsters with man atop
Does seem to eat the verdant crop
And men shall fly as birds do now
And give away the horse and plough.

There'll be a sign for all to see
Be sure that it will certain be.
Then love shall die and marriage cease
And nations wane as babes decrease

And wives shall fondle cats and dogs
And men live much the same as hogs.

In nineteen hundred and twenty six
Build houses light of straw and sticks.
For then shall mighty wars be planned
And fire and sword shall sweep the land.

When pictures seem alive with movements free
When boats like fishes swim beneath the sea,
When men like birds shall scour the sky
Then half the world, deep drenched in blood shall die.

For those who live the century through
In fear and trmbling this shall do.
Flee to the mountains and the dens
To bog and forest and wild fens.

For storms will rage and oceans roar
When Gabriel stands on sea and shore
And as he blows his wondrous horn
Old worlds die and new be born.

A fiery dragon will cross the sky
Six times before this earth shall die
Mankind will tremble and frightened be
for the sixth heralds in this prophecy.

For seven days and seven nights
Man will watch this awesome sight.
The tides will rise beyond their ken
To bite away the shores and then
The mountains will begin to roar
And earthquakes split the plain to shore.

And flooding waters, rushing in
Will flood the lands with such a din
That mankind cowers in muddy fen
And snarls about his fellow men.

He bares his teeth and fights and kills
And secrets food in secret hills
And ugly in his fear, he lies
To kill marauders, thieves and spies.

Man flees in terror from the floods
And kills, and rapes and lies in blood
And spilling blood by mankinds hands
Will stain and bitter many lands

And when the dragon's tail is gone,
Man forgets, and smiles, and carries on
To apply himself - too late, too late
For mankind has earned deserved fate.

His masked smile - his false grandeur,
Will serve the Gods their anger stir.
And they will send the Dragon back
To light the sky - his tail will crack
Upon the earth and rend the earth
And man shall flee, King, Lord, and serf.

But slowly they are routed out
To seek diminishing water spout
And men will die of thirst before
The oceans rise to mount the shore.

And lands will crack and rend anew
You think it strange. It will come true.

And in some far off distant land
Some men - oh such a tiny band
Will have to leave their solid mount
And span the earth, those few to count,
Who survives this (unreadable) and then
Begin the human race again.

But not on land already there
But on ocean beds, stark, dry and bare
Not every soul on Earth will die
As the Dragons tail goes sweeping by.

Not every land on earth will sink
But these will wallow in stench and stink
Of rotting bodies of beast and man
Of vegetation crisped on land.

But the land that rises from the sea
Will be dry and clean and soft and free
Of mankinds dirt and therefore be
The source of man's new dynasty.

And those that live will ever fear
The dragons tail for many year
But time erases memory
You think it strange. But it will be.

And before the race is built anew
A silver serpent comes to view
And spew out men of like unknown
To mingle with the earth now grown
Cold from its heat and these men can
Enlighten the minds of future man.

[Dead Wood Records]

The Future 4 Trevor Rooney Not finished yet

To intermingle and show them how
To live and love and thus endow
The children with the second sight.
A natural thing so that they might
Grow graceful, humble and when they do
The Golden Age will start anew.

The dragons tail is but a sign
For mankinds fall and man's decline.
And before this prophecy is done
I shall be burned at the stake, at one
My body singed and my soul set free
You think I utter blasphemy
You're wrong. These things have come to me
This prophecy will come to be.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These verses were on the outer wrapping of the scrolls.

I know I go - I know I'm free
I know that this will come to be.
Secreted this - for this will be
Found by later dynasty

A dairy maid, a bonny lass
Shall kick this tone as she does pass
And five generations she shall breed
Before one male child does learn to read.

This is then held year by year
Till an iron monster trembling fear
eats parchment, words and quill and ink
And mankind is given time to think.

And only when this comes to be
Will mankind read this prophecy
But one mans sweets anothers bane
So I shall not have burned in vain.

- Mother Shipton


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This section was kept apart from the other and it appears to have been written together yet was in a separate jar.

The signs will be there for all to read
When man shall do most heinous deed
Man will ruin kinder lives
By taking them as to their wives.

And murder foul and brutal deed
When man will only think of greed.
And man shall walk as if asleep
He does not look - he many not peep
And iron men the tail shall do
And iron cart and carriage too.

The kings shall false promise make
And talk just for talkings sake
And nations plan horrific war
The like as never seen before
And taxes rise and lively down
And nations wear perpetual frown.

Yet greater sign there be to see
As man nears latter century
Three sleeping mountains gather breath
And spew out mud, and ice and death.
And earthquakes swallow town and town,
In lands as yet to me unknown.

And christian one fights christian two
And nations sigh, yet nothing do
And yellow men great power gain
From mighty bear with whom they've lain.

These mighty tyrants will fail to do
They fail to split the world in two.
But from their acts a danger bred
An ague - leaving many dead.
And physics find no remedy
For this is worse than leprosy.

Oh many signs for all to see
The truth of this true prophecy.

These verses were on the outer wrapping of the scrolls

I know I go - I know I'm free
I know that this will come to be.
Secreted this - for this will be
Found by later dynasty

A dairy maid, a bonny lass
Shall kick this stone as she does pass
And five generations she shall breed
Before one male child does learn to read.

This is then held year by year
Till an iron monster trembling fear
eats parchment, words and quill and ink
And mankind is given time to think.

And only when this comes to be
Will mankind read this prophecy
But one mans sweets anothers bane
So I shall not have burned in vain.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This section was kept apart from the other and it appears
to have been written together yet was in a separate jar...

The signs will be there for all to read
When man shall do most heinous deed
Man will ruin kinder lives
By taking them as to their wives.

And murder foul and brutal deed
When man will only think of greed.
And man shall walk as if asleep
He does not look - he many not peep
And iron men the tail shall do
And iron cart and carriage too.

The kings shall false promise make
And talk just for talkings sake
And nations plan horrific war
The like as never seen before
And taxes rise and lively down
And nations wear perpetual frown.

Yet greater sign there be to see
As man nears latter century
Three sleeping mountains gather breath
And spew out mud, and ice and death.
And earthquakes swallow town and town,
In lands as yet to me unknown.

And christian one fights christian two
And nations sigh, yet nothing do
And yellow men great power gain
From mighty bear with whom they've lain.

These mighty tyrants will fail to do
They fail to split the world in two.
But from their acts a danger bred
An ague - leaving many dead.
And physics find no remedy
For this is worse than leprosy.

Oh many signs for all to see
The truth of this true prophecy.

[Dead Wood Records]

Trevor Rooney

So these are all the signs are they? Can some-one see more? who is this person you may ask?, who has this energy , who want's to know?

See you all later


Trevor


Now my band Spooks press cutting:

See you all upstairs one day? as a molecule


_____________________________________________


Trev the Spoook wails Mother Shipton's hits

by Chris Titley




LONG before York was officially branded the favourite destination of the undead, far-sighted entrepreneurs were spinning the spirits.

Peter Broadhead launched the city's - and Britain's - first ghost tour in 1972. Then Trevor Rooney set up the second 13 years later.

Trevor's flair for self-publicity, and his Victorian undertaker's outfit, soon established him as York's face of the phantoms.

A few years ago, however, he ghoulishly vanished. It turns out he had passed to the other side. Of the world.

He took himself off to Australia and from there went on to various haunts around the globe.

So what became of our Trev?

Today the Diary can reveal the answer.

Having settled in mainland Europe, the former ghost walker, photographer, magician, sculptor and graphologist is launching his own band.

But Trevor has not forgotten his paranormal past. Scarily enough, his band is called Spoook - and they have just set to music the prophecies of legendary Knaresborough soothsayer Mother Shipton.

Mr Rooney, who was born in Liverpool, also told the Diary that he has a famous relative. Everton and England striker Wayne is a distant cousin.

Having lost none of his talent for self-promotion, Trevor wrote to broadcaster Jonathan Ross, who has made fun of Wayne Rooney on his radio programme.

Would Jonathan be willing to make amends for the family insult - by playing the music of another member of the Rooney clan on his show?

"I have not had a reply," Trevor said.

STILL with spin, well done to Colin "Super" Storey, manager of Asda, Monks Cross, York.

As we reported yesterday, a thunderstorm knocked out Asda's electronic tills for several hours. Keeping a store full of shoppers waiting for a "reboot" could have sparked a riot.

Instead, Colin told people to pay what they guessed their shopping was worth. In an instant, a nightmare was transformed into a publicity coup. May we suggest that the FA hire Mr Storey as its head of crisis management?



THE Diary was dismayed to hear about the walking wounded at York Brewery.

Last Friday boss Tony Thomson was off work with a bad leg from playing cricket.

And brewing director Andrew Whalley has suffered so many rugby injuries he has been forced from playing to coaching at his club, Malton.

At least these knocks were sustained in sporting contests, and have nothing to do with sampling the goods at the Toft Green brewery.

Nevertheless, the casualty list makes their latest creation somewhat ironic. York Brewery's summer beer is a tribute to the Olympic movement, called Chariot Of Fire.



SO it's goodbye to "Have A Break, Have A Kit Kat" and hello to "Make The Most Of Your Break".

You may think that the new slogan is the most boring in the 69-year history of the Kit Kat, but not necessarily.

In its earliest incarnation, as "Chocolate Crisp - nicknamed `Kit Kat'", the slogan was "A Two-Course Meal For 2d". The two courses were the chocolate and, er, the wafer.

This was later expanded in a press advert which featured a well-to-do couple travelling by plane.

"The biggest little meal they can buy - the biggest little meal in the sky - The Biggest Little Meal In Britain".

Then in the Fifties, to emphasise the creamy quality of the new, two-finger version, a character called Kitty The Kat was invented.

If "Make The Most Of Your Break" is the best modern advertising agencies can do for York's legendary bar, the Diary has one response. Bring back the Kat. Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...



Write to: The Diary, Chris Titley, The Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN

Email diary@ycp.co.uk

Telephone (01904) 653051 ext 337

[Butterfly Man]

Dr. Kiljoy's prescription

Demerol IV push

once vital signs stabilize then ...

Xanex - Q 4 hrs.


hey, it works for me & Birdie McClaine!

------------------------------------
Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Boo

Boo Who?

Boo Hoo

Yes

What?

He's on second.

[Dead Wood Records]

A great man will come and go

Some-one who's not afraid of the truth?

Some-one who's not scared?

[Butterfly Man]

Truth

"You're ugly, your dick is small and everybody fucked your mother."


... is my line.



Scared? Moi?

[Dead Wood Records]

My Mother is Dead.

Not so keen on the mother joke

Show a bit of restraint on that score ..... Please.

My mothers ashes are her in the house.

I'll light a candle and apologise for you Robert.

Trevor

[Butterfly Man]

well, just baseball & apple pie then.

Trevor,

You should change your label to "dunderhead records" ... it'd be more accurate.

I think your I.Q. is about room temperature. (Celsius)

I don't think your URL allows for outside access.

better check with your ISP first, motherfucker,
Robert

[Pudding]

Dear Butterfly!
I take exception to that! Since I was born, 2 people actually fucked my mother. Now she is DEAD OK. So go fuck yourself. Best plan I would imagine, having a face like a camels vagina. And yes, I am Trevs sister.
I pushed my mother into a crematorium (literally) now go fuck off.
I looked at your website. Looked at your mug, and decided best go sit on my finger, as it would be more exciting...
Вы будете fucking shit, идете ручка большая дыня вверх по вашему arse вы cunt

[martin ewen]

I wrote some really nasty stuff here but then changed my mind in respect for mums in general.
Poetrys constructive and should be encouraged.
Sorry if anyone read the post that survived for about 3 minutes before i changed my mind.

[Woofnah]

you're doing WHAT?????

"You're ugly, your dick is small and everybody fucked your mother."

I was thinking of plastic surgery to fix that first issue.

It's a clit. It should be small.

True about my mother. Cept me. I tried but couldn't afford a lawyer in her state. Law says I can't do anything without one there.

[Doctor Eric]

Why is it that everyone with a dead mother thinks that her corpse makes THEM special?

[Pudding]

I'll have half of what woofnas had...
the rest of the posts just prove my point haha