The Heavy Thread for arguing the toss.

[jester]

Yep. It's here folks. The heavy thread for folks that like arguing the toss.

Not only do we get distracted and off topic, we actually encourage people to think. They think "I wish that Jester wanker would shut up!" but it's a start.

This is the "high end" drivel column. And those of you who are clever enough to be deep and levitated at the same time are more than welcome.


This is where us in the temperate/sub arctic climes can work off our S A D. Where the angry can chew each other up, where those who are game for a spat can have a go at each other without upsetting the blissfully ignorant.

Where those who think it is enough to say "I don't like Bush either" and then write fantastic gags about canadian bacon before pretending to be comedy critics can steer well clear and not get their egos burnt.

This is the purest of the unadulterated drivel, this is deep shit.

This is not the opposite of levity. Gravity is the enemy and heavy shit makes it work all the harder, it's just another tactic.

[Barry]

the unbearable lightness of being "jester"

good man, jester. glad to see you have given the option for the heavy thread that everybody wants to play on. this is a good place. me, personally, i wont play, but i am looking forward to dropping in and checking the stirs that you keep inspiring. cheers

[jester]

AW come on!

Right. I'll start.

I beleive that guns are evil and the only reason they are legal is because of the balloon modelling fraternity need them for their livelihoods.

Balloon guns are quick and easy to make and therefore extremely viable commercially. they may not be artistic, but they subsidise a stressed modellers art.

I'll bet that the gun lobby is financed mainly by balloon modellers. I bet you bastards are an undisclosed special interest group who are keeping Bush in power.

Now come on somebody. ARGUE with me!

(Jester stamps feet and throws down his balloon giraffe and spins around because nobody is playing with him.)

[le pire]

I used to do balloons and whenever a kid would ask me for a gun I would tell him that there is a 15 day wait and I have to do a background check.

They never got the joke...


étienne

[jester]

Hamleys

I nearly got sacked when I worked for Hamleys during Gulf War 1. An American asked me if I knew where the toy soldiers were so I asked him if he was training up on his freindly fire.

He let it go but about 4 days later and and american lady asked where we kept the guns. I said "this is Britain. You wouldn't find guns at the police station let alone a toy store." Turns out she was his wife and they later put in a formal complaint.

It was only because the owners at the time were two Americans who found my account of what happened funny that I kept my job with a serious reprimand.

[jester]

You're all lightweights. Intellectual woosies.

Even Martin has given up thinking and has resorted to becoming a kind of internet Disc Jockey "And here's the latest fab website. Tune in tommorow."

Dr Eric has a gun but he can only fire blanks.

Chance is a bloody idiot who still hasn't learned that "I can do Kung Fu" only impresses the sort of person who wishes they could do Kung Fu (and they normally do Kung Fu).

Then there's the who can think of the best put down to make 8 year olds cry brigade.

I miss Trevor Rooney. That Guy was fun.

Ah fuck this. I'm gonna go out and actually do some busking.

[Spike McGuire]

You seem to be a smug unhappy man. I hope you make some friends while you're out busking.

-----Spike

[Evan Young]

I love guns. They have real power to enforce your will. No need for persuasion. haha, whatever, I just think they're fun and I'm a great shot. banning assault wepons has not reduced violent crime in this nation and I don't think it has in any other nation either. The number of people who get killed by guns is inconsiquential, because the problem just gets takes a different name rather than getting solved.
i don't like gun controle because I don't believe in controle of individuals. you should not be restricted from buying stuff just because people are scared of it. you should not be protected from yourself.
and the police should be in the station waiting for the call, not out searching my car for drugs.

[jester]

Spike you are so right.

I'm very lonely in my superiority. It's no fun being a smug git. I made no freinds out busking but I did make cash.

I offered to accept freindship instead of cash, but nobody wanted to hug me. Mind you nobody wanted to shoot me either.

[jester]

Actually Gun Control in Britain has worked a lot more than you would like to admit.

We have a problem here in that gun crime is rising very fast, but it is still a long way short of the US.

Violent Crime in general in Britain is currently stabilized after steady increases.

However, the statistics speak for themselves and you should go and look at them before spouting off your propaganda Evan. Sure the problems that lead to gun crime don't go away, but the problems that arise (people getting shot) certainly do.

I have no problem with you being a good shot, going to a shooting range and practicing your art. I have a big problem with people even more stupid than myself being allowed to walk the streets carrying a gun.

I'm sure you would agree that gun control and the outright banning of guns are two different things.

Sadly, in the quaint little City where I live (it's really a small market town with an ancient Cathedral) there were two very nasty violent incidents this weekend, one leading to a fatality. No guns here, just knives. So gun control isn't the answer to everything.

But it is the answer to a lot of things.

The statistics I have are quite old now but I beleive that the number of deaths by handgun in the US is more than a thousand fold higer than in Britain, while we have on fifth of your population so that makes countries with gun control 200 times safer to be at least.

At a guess I am 200 times less likely to be shot in Britain than in USA.

[Butterfly Man]

Guns don't kill people ... bullets kill people.

Jester m'boy ... please come visit southern California ... I'd love to show you around east LA ... be sure to wear something blue.

P.S. Bill Hick's did a great routine on this very subject ... "Hooligans" (Arizona Bay)

[martin ewen]

Hey readers, that was burble burble burble
Don't forget.later on in the program our regular feature,Bored people and how low grade provocation is so transparently misdirected low self esteem
So in the meantime, relax, enjoy your typing..Heres a little number dedicated to one of our readers, Jester, seems he's having a spot of bother with his personality.
This ones for you.

http://www.sailinganarchy.com/general/2002/cool_test.htm

stay tuned

[jester]

yep

Thanks Martin. That cool person test has raised my self esteem. I didn't think I was still rated that highly.

Biggest laugh of the day.

PS The God Petition is hysterical. I am still scrolling through the submitted messages.

[Evan Young]

I wonder what demographic of people are getting shot. I wonder if i really care about those people enough to support laws that revoke my right to have a registered gun in the house.
After the columbine shooting someone asked a prominent polotician what he thought about gun controle. He responded, "I grew up in Texas. Everybody had guns, we just didn't bring them to school."
go to a range? why can't I just go to my grandpa's 40 acres in mississippi and fire off his assault rifles at tree stumps and cans? Why can't I just go over to my friend dixon's farm in missouri and blow clay pigons out of the air with 12 guage shot guns? Or my uncles 9mm pistol in the cali desert. Fuck the shooting range, what a pain in the ass man.
I'm not scared of guns. And I believe in an armed population that can fight for themselves. Don't rely off of your government to do all your dirty work.
Think I'm crazy yet?
Wow, not many people get shot in England, instead they get they get stabed or clubed. is that really so much better? I don't know all the statistics and stuff, but I don't really care. i spent nine months in england and I got riped off and threatened more times during my stay than the entire rest of my life combined. my gun isn't gonna kill anybody, so why do you want to lock it away from me?

[Butterfly Man]

Fuck the Queen ... God save me!

If I lived in England, I'd shoot myself.