Byrons stuff

[Jimbo]

Hey every one, I'm holding a little auction.
you see Byron Bertram left a whole bunch of crap in my car and i was thinking about sending it back to him. but if any one needs a really big suit, and a book of potential aids infected ex's and one nighters, i'll start the bidding at $50.00 for the set.

jimbo

[jonnyflash]

$50.01!
I can use that crap to leverage bargaining to retreive my canamp, currently being held hostage by the perp.

[Butterfly Man]

$50.02 ... if you throw in your car ...

Once upon a time, there were two young men who were very much alike. One was named David, who called himself “The Checkerboard Guy” and the other was named Robert, some knew him only as “The Butterfly Man”. Even though they were a lot alike, they had never met one another.

Though they lived in separate towns, and in different countries, they did; however, share a lot of common ground. Like many street performers, they both liked spending quality time juggling outdoors on a beautiful day, making mpegs in iMovie on their G4’s, looking for pitches while traveling, and they both enjoyed doing exciting things with their friends and loved one's.

But unfortunately, there was something missing in each of their lives. You see, they had slipped into the deep, dark doldrums of a punter’s life, and had become boring. As a result, they were spending a lot of their spare time making gardens in their backyards, removing giant rocks from the dirt, and filming QuickTime movies of their family having a good time. This seemed to be their way of coping with aging careers.

One afternoon while Checkerboard Guy was driving home from a local gig in Vancouver in his daily run-of-the-mill family car, he began to think about what he might do once he got home. He thought and he thought, but he became saddened when he realized that he couldn't think of anything. So he decided that he'd settle for eating an early supper of yakisoba with his wife Emiko, then watch Koji and Owen run around the house until he couldn't stand it any longer, and then he’d go to bed. The next day he'd likely do the same thing all over again.

While keeping his focus on the road ahead, he spotted an eye-catching little mid-sixties Austin Healy heading toward him. He could see the driver of the car was wearing a Smirk.com baseball style cap turned backwards, and he appeared as though he was having a great time driving his fun little car. He took a closer look at the car, and then realized it was Byron Bertram driving the same little Bug-Eyed Sprite that he, himself, had once restored so many years ago.

"Wow" he thought to himself, "Byron looks as though he's having the time of his life driving my little old car. I remember how I used to love that car and how I’d make all that money at the Edmonton Fringe and then have to go immediately home and spend it all on parts for that goddamn car!!" David waved to Byron, and then gave him the thumbs-up sign, and Byron waved back with a big smile and thinking it might be Gazzo, raised his middle finger slightly.

Checkerhead was right; the expression on Byron's face was unmistakable. He was sure that kid was having the best time of his life since making that $171 dollar hat on Venice Beach.

During the rest of that week, David spotted more and more little British cars driving around North Vancouver. Some he hadn't seen in many years. Some of the cars he had almost totally forgotten about. Then he discovered why there were so many cool cars running around in his town. The entire week was a special honorary week for all classic British cars. It was called British Car Week.

He learned that British Car Week is an annual awareness week intended to encourage British car owners to drive their cars regularly and provide them with increased exposure for the people in their community to appreciate. It's a week for enjoying them, but also for remembering the pleasures they have brought to so many lives over the years.

By now The Checkerboard Guy was getting very nostalgic, and decided that he'd like to own a vintage vehicle once again. He wanted to know all sorts of things like, " I wonder where I could buy one? How can I find a good one? Are parts still available? If so, then are there local clubs that provide helpful support? Do they still publish books, magazines and manuals about these cars? How can I find the time to raise a family, learn kanji stoke order and still re-wire a Lucas electrical system? Where do I begin!?"

Fortunately David was able to talk to some of the car owners during the week, and within a few months he had joined several British car clubs.

As a result, he met some great new friends, located books to read, and subscribed to magazines that enabled him to learn as much about British cars as he needed. He located a ’62 Austin Healy that he found for sale in a club magazine, and is now the proud owner of a vintage pale green Sprite. He also bought a Checker Cab that needed to be restored, and is now buying parts for it.

There was no longer any doubt what he would find to do after his shows. In many cases he didn't return home immediately to Emiko & the boys, instead, opting to take the long way home because he was driving his enjoyable little twin SU carburetor Bug-Eye ... once again he felt young and invigorated almost like gas town before Tom Comet arrived.

So be sure to mark your calendars and tell all of your friends, and Bill Furgeson too, about the 8th Annual British Car Week! May 22 - 30, 2004.

Oh, I almost forgot! … you might still be wondering what happened to The Butterfly Man. Unfortunately, Martin Ewen didn’t want his old ’61 Morris Minor Pick-Up and since he really couldn’t gives a rat’s ass about British Car Week, you can still find him in his backyard staring at his orange and lemon tree.

[malkav powermann]

How big is this really big suit, ?

[Christopher Cool]

Malkav

Email me your address : info@christophercool.com

I don't want to see what you charge for interest.