What happens at a thousand?

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  • martin ewen
    Senior Member
    • Dec 2000
    • 1887

    #16
    We'll call it, 'When tragedies collide. "
    I carry a piano wire garrote for just this possibility, I would wrap it round my neck, hold one end and give rumple the other and tell him it was attached to a bell at the police station and to please ring it for help and then i would add that I thought he should bathe more frequently than bi-annually and then I would die and people would leave the theatres underwhelmed and it would go straight to video where it would collect dust but then a couple of decades later it would reemerge as an surreal, absurd, tour de force and i would be lionised as a committed clown who was prepared to lay down his life for the sake of a mediocre, semi-laugh and in-joke and i would be dug up and festooned with modern lighting , the magnificence of which we cannot even comprehend because its only 2003 and this bit takes place in the future and i would be hung from some central pillar in some unpleasently overpopulated place and people would visit from all over the world and laugh and my purpose will be fulfilled. Meanwhile Rumple would be sought after and found, and he would be performing a piece that he had started 4 years earlier in the waiting room of a psychotherapist who had long since gone out of business due to the govt withdrawing funding to all health services and finally making a profit from the mentally ill by turning them into petfood and rumple would have survived because when the authorities came to finally check that all the re-re's had been chopped up and fed to the big cats owned by overpaid magicians, they mistook rumple for a late 19th century automatron that a small animal had obviously crawled inside of and died at some point.
    Rumple would be rescued and attain immediate fame and fortune without compromising anything but his unsanitary disposition as the rest of his life would be spent , as will be the fashion in future years, being licked constantly by nubile but poor young woman, and some attractive men too, for the small nutritional value of his sweat, while being filmed.
    The fucken end.

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    • Rumpelstiltskin
      Senior Member
      • Nov 2001
      • 4128

      #17
      Blimey!Speaking of elevators.....i certainly did have an alarming experience in Portugal(Lisbon)....with my friend's scruffy dog.I had the dog(forgotten the name now)on an extendable lease....& as Enano & his girlfriend....walked out....i pushed a button on the dog-lead handle.....& the dog walked.....extended straight out on the lease....& then the frigggin' elevator doors shut close(before i had time to quikly walk out).....with the dog on the other side....& me on the inside.The elevator started to go down....& i panicked like a nutcase....as i couldn't stop it..& pressed buttons...urgently but couldn't remember which floor it was on.Some moments later...the dog lead...came back with no dog on the end!I was freaking out....& still pressing buttons...trying to figure out which floor i was originally on.I was going up & down,down & up....like a real gooOse...but then eventually found the right floor...& to my amazement the scruffy cute little thing was alright!Enano's girlfriend was hugging her dog with great relief.
      They told me they walked out of the elevator...& then saw the dog whizzz back behind them....as it was getting pulled to the elevator door.Enano quickly grabbed the dog....everso close to the door....& the lead just snapped off!
      We were all so happy that everything was alright & we all had a good laugh!Gorblimey!That was one of the freakiest moments of my life.I couldn't believe how much of a fool i was...but what the heck....i guess these sort of things are bound to happen once in a while to a gooOse like me!Oops!
      Cheeers! [img]rolleyes.gif[/img] <img src="graemlins/haha.gif" border="0" alt="[ha ha]" />

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      • Rumpelstiltskin
        Senior Member
        • Nov 2001
        • 4128

        #18
        What will happen when....'Blah Blah Blah' gets to 10,000?
        The margins might go crooked....before Jim widens the columns?
        Are we all going to throw a massive Performers Net party online when Blah Blah Blah get's to 10,000 or will we all have to wait in suspence till the next 10,000?
        Oops!How can we all get out of this illogical world of statistics?Let's alot of maths to work out in this infinite universe!
        I think i might go & play calculators with some nimble nincompoop nerds who are eager to see if they can get their facts fooled! <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" /> + <img src="graemlins/haha.gif" border="0" alt="[ha ha]" /> = " [img]rolleyes.gif[/img] "

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        • Mr.Taxi Trix
          Senior Member
          • Dec 2000
          • 1273

          #19
          [quote]Originally posted by Rumpelstiltskin:
          <strong>Oops!It's Screaming Lord Apologize here speaking Oompa Loompah jargon to the Earl Of Statistics</strong><hr></blockquote>


          You're a poet, Rump.

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          • Rumpelstiltskin
            Senior Member
            • Nov 2001
            • 4128

            #20
            I thought i was a weasel Taxi?
            It's almost a joke to be a poet these days!
            There's probably more money in being a weasel!
            Is there much difference between a weasel or a joker?
            Oops!Perhaps i am a weasel joker poet?
            <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[jester]" />

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