old jokes

[martin ewen]

I'm re readin , The Fool- his social and literary history- by Enid Welsford.
(a present from taxi)
and thought I'd regurgitate some of the better tales, or quotes, as I go.

" Naser-ed-Din or Si-Djoha was a jester of the famous conqueror Timur-ling and the account of his first meeting with his future master was not without interest. Timur-ling the conqueror said: 'I will ask him questions and if he fails to reply to a single one I will put him to death.'
The buffoon, however, passed this somewhat alarming oral examination with high honours, and by his replies pleased Timur very much, for he saw what a jovial fellow he was. ' Since you are such a merry companion' he cried, 'I swear I will never be seperated from you.'
'As you will,' replied the Hodja; 'you are master.'
Timur-ling may have been master, but he seems at times to have put up with a good deal of bluntness.
On one occasion, for instance, he caught a glimpse of himself in the glass and was so appalled by what he saw that he wept for two hours, while the whole court wept in sympathy. When all had regained their composure, Nasr-ed-Din continued to sob for reasons which he explained to his questioning master:
'If you saw yourself in the glass for a short moment and wept for two hours, is it surprising that I weep longer since I see you the whole day?'
At this reply Timur-ling was seized with inextinguishable laughter."

[martin ewen]

Si-Djoha's success often depended upon his neighbour's readyness to believe that he possessed magical instruments of various kinds and animals capable of producing gold.
The most absurd stories are told about the tricks he played on four 'friends' who had cheated him in the past and upon whom he had determined to be revenged. One day when they came to visit him he managed- by hanging a bag full of blood round his wife's neck- to make them believe he had a magic knife by which he had killed and resuscitated her. They paid large sums for the knife and went home to try it on their wives and of course killed them. Si-Djoha must have intended this result and there is no suggestion that he felt any scruples about it. He did, however, fear reprisals, so he pretended to be dead and concealed himself in a tomb in which he made a hole and near which he had lighted a fire. When the 'friends' came to see his burial-place he burnt them through the hole of the tomb with his fathers seal or branding iron, and they went away faster than they came. The next time Si-Djoha came to market, the incensed friends hauled him before the judge and accused him of murdering their wives. Si-Djoha retorted that they were his escaped slaves branded with his fathers seal. The judge examined them and found the mark of branding and condemned them to serve Si-Djoha for the rest of their lives.

[le pire]

Hey Rumple,

Take note. Some of these tricks may work for you!!!

étienne

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Anyone have a branding iron for sale, cheap?

[Lynneski]

Do you have a potato masher and a hot fire?

[Butterfly Man]

If not, then try a potato gun and some hairspray ...

and try to stay away from things that permanently scar
... otherwise you spend a lot of time weeping.