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Happy Thoughts
I have a dog. His name is Happy. Actually, his name is officially "Happy Dog". Happy Dog doesn't know it, but he was a virtual pet for almost ten years before he was even born.
I had always wanted a dog, but because of performing and travelling, it was never practical. So, as a joke, I invented an imaginary dog, and named him Happy Dog. I would make up stories about my virtual pet, and talk about what he would be like in real life. Two years ago, my wife, Lisa, got me the real thing from a local breeder.
Happy Dog is a pure bread, or as they say 'round these parts, "full-blooded," Great Pyranees. I am told, as a guardian breed, the Great Pyrs were bred to protect sheep in the field. Happy even looks like a sheep - sort of. He looks more like a sheep with a serious glandular condition. He isn't a small dog, though he is small for his breed, weighing in at 110 lbs. I guess he would qualify as a Lesser Pyranees...
Anyway, these dogs are programmed through centuries of breeding to bond with the flock, stay with the flock, and protect the flock. Apparently, they sleep with the sheep, constantly wary of predators. It must be quite a sight to see a pack of coyotes come up over the hill for a quick midnight mutton snack, only to be greeted by one sheep with a really bad attitude and long teeth!
Unfortunately for Happy, he doesn't have any sheep. He is a sheepless sheep dog. Nope, no sheep, though he does have a couple of children that he keeps an eye on, and he has his meadow that he protects from the red wings. We moved out into the country so that we could see more wildlife, only to have the dog drive away any creature higher on the food chain than a slug.
Well, that isn't entirely true. Even though Happy and the birds don't seem to see eye to eye, the geese that come to our pond had him cowed. About a dozen of them flew in early one morning for a quick swim, found the digs to be comfy, and decided for an extended stay. When Happy went out, he was most agitated to see large water fowl in HIS pond. With his barking siren on full alert, he sprinted after them, circling the pond several times. Much to his surprise, the geese didn't take flight, payed no-never-mind to his tirade, and went on paddling about.
I watched Happy get into the water and approach the geese. The geese oriented themselves towards him, and stood (floated?) their ground. Poor happy didn't know what to think of these giant birds who weren't afraid of him! He backed down, and the geese stayed for several days.
The ducks on the other hand don't hang around...
It hasn't been mentioned yet, but Happy Dog is an artist. He likes to paint. His medium is royal blue, and in lieu of a proper canvas, he is quite willing to use the living room carpet. We had no idea that he harbored such creativity until we left a new pint of blue paint, on the dining table, in a grocery bag that looked just like the one that contained the loaf of bread that he had stolen from the dining table the night before.
Yes, Happy likes bread. He also likes pins. He once ate a pin cushion that my wife was using for a sewing project. We took him to the vet for x-rays everyday for a week just to view the pins as they passed through his system. We had to make sure that they were all accounted for. But, in the end, so to speak, he was OK. We knew this because he then ate half a bottle of Advil.
The Advil episode warranted giving Happy syrup of ipecac to try to make him barf. It is surprising that the dog will puke when your in-laws visit, but when you need him to, he has the constitution of a sailor. We finally resorted to throwing him in the cab of the truck, and driving him on the windiest road in the county until he tossed his cookies all over the seat.
Yes, it's a good thing that having a dog is so rewarding, because if it weren't, I'd think it really sucked.
I had a bad day today. It was a day just liked all of the others, except that this one had it in for me. Nothing specific, just little things. After dinner I took a walk in the meadow, and watched the night rise. When I sit outside in the evening, I usually watch the sun set, but for a change, tonight I faced the other way, and just watched the clouds gently blow over as the sky darkened. The neighbor's cows were bawling as they settled down for the night, and the June bugs were just coming out. I sat there a long time.
After a while, Happy came over to me, sniffed my breath to see what I had eaten for dinner, then belched in my face. I giggled, for even dog burps are funny, and he sat down next to me. We stayed there for quite some time, just my dog and I, watching the night.
One of my favorite bumper stickers reads: "Dear God, please help me be the person that my dog thinks I am." Yeah.
Steve
I had always wanted a dog, but because of performing and travelling, it was never practical. So, as a joke, I invented an imaginary dog, and named him Happy Dog. I would make up stories about my virtual pet, and talk about what he would be like in real life. Two years ago, my wife, Lisa, got me the real thing from a local breeder.
Happy Dog is a pure bread, or as they say 'round these parts, "full-blooded," Great Pyranees. I am told, as a guardian breed, the Great Pyrs were bred to protect sheep in the field. Happy even looks like a sheep - sort of. He looks more like a sheep with a serious glandular condition. He isn't a small dog, though he is small for his breed, weighing in at 110 lbs. I guess he would qualify as a Lesser Pyranees...
Anyway, these dogs are programmed through centuries of breeding to bond with the flock, stay with the flock, and protect the flock. Apparently, they sleep with the sheep, constantly wary of predators. It must be quite a sight to see a pack of coyotes come up over the hill for a quick midnight mutton snack, only to be greeted by one sheep with a really bad attitude and long teeth!
Unfortunately for Happy, he doesn't have any sheep. He is a sheepless sheep dog. Nope, no sheep, though he does have a couple of children that he keeps an eye on, and he has his meadow that he protects from the red wings. We moved out into the country so that we could see more wildlife, only to have the dog drive away any creature higher on the food chain than a slug.
Well, that isn't entirely true. Even though Happy and the birds don't seem to see eye to eye, the geese that come to our pond had him cowed. About a dozen of them flew in early one morning for a quick swim, found the digs to be comfy, and decided for an extended stay. When Happy went out, he was most agitated to see large water fowl in HIS pond. With his barking siren on full alert, he sprinted after them, circling the pond several times. Much to his surprise, the geese didn't take flight, payed no-never-mind to his tirade, and went on paddling about.
I watched Happy get into the water and approach the geese. The geese oriented themselves towards him, and stood (floated?) their ground. Poor happy didn't know what to think of these giant birds who weren't afraid of him! He backed down, and the geese stayed for several days.
The ducks on the other hand don't hang around...
It hasn't been mentioned yet, but Happy Dog is an artist. He likes to paint. His medium is royal blue, and in lieu of a proper canvas, he is quite willing to use the living room carpet. We had no idea that he harbored such creativity until we left a new pint of blue paint, on the dining table, in a grocery bag that looked just like the one that contained the loaf of bread that he had stolen from the dining table the night before.
Yes, Happy likes bread. He also likes pins. He once ate a pin cushion that my wife was using for a sewing project. We took him to the vet for x-rays everyday for a week just to view the pins as they passed through his system. We had to make sure that they were all accounted for. But, in the end, so to speak, he was OK. We knew this because he then ate half a bottle of Advil.
The Advil episode warranted giving Happy syrup of ipecac to try to make him barf. It is surprising that the dog will puke when your in-laws visit, but when you need him to, he has the constitution of a sailor. We finally resorted to throwing him in the cab of the truck, and driving him on the windiest road in the county until he tossed his cookies all over the seat.
Yes, it's a good thing that having a dog is so rewarding, because if it weren't, I'd think it really sucked.
I had a bad day today. It was a day just liked all of the others, except that this one had it in for me. Nothing specific, just little things. After dinner I took a walk in the meadow, and watched the night rise. When I sit outside in the evening, I usually watch the sun set, but for a change, tonight I faced the other way, and just watched the clouds gently blow over as the sky darkened. The neighbor's cows were bawling as they settled down for the night, and the June bugs were just coming out. I sat there a long time.
After a while, Happy came over to me, sniffed my breath to see what I had eaten for dinner, then belched in my face. I giggled, for even dog burps are funny, and he sat down next to me. We stayed there for quite some time, just my dog and I, watching the night.
One of my favorite bumper stickers reads: "Dear God, please help me be the person that my dog thinks I am." Yeah.
Steve
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