10 WORST STREET ACTS

[Peter Voice]

LDR, I'm glad you remember Bill, many others do.
I wasn't picking on Lolly, like the Sinatra Guy, I like him, but you've got to admit he plays badly, is as sly as a fox and makes money. How can you play violin for more than thirty years and not improve?
As for Simon, he's not the only person who has been or is called a little shit bag. I believe he lost his teeth about 3 years ago and there are a couple of versions of how that came about. I'm told you know more about it than I. Didn't Darren suffer sudden dental problems (along with a broken instrument) about the same time.

Simon, for all indications, has been drug free (or of very modest and discreet indulgence) for at least 2 years, and has/is developing a good show.
When did you say you joined NA?

[ 01-25-2002: Message edited by: Peter Voice ]</p>

[LUCKY DIAMOND RICH]

recovering button pusher,


LDR

[ 01-24-2002: Message edited by: Lucky Diamond Rich ]

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Lucky Diamond Rich ]</p>

[Peter Voice]

I've got to mention a couple of other really bad acts.

The guy on the corner opposite Churchill Square in Edmonton. Each year he would pick up on the new thing he saw at the fest and his attempts to emulate it actually backhandedly served as ad for the festival. I don't know if he's still around but he was certainly persistant.
"Fearo", the rola bola guy (Edmonton,'90). 3,4 and legend hints at 5 tubes (sometimes multiple boards). He got up there, looked scared, then got down again. Start and end of act. No show at all (after a few days of the other performers trying to help him develop his unique skill into a real show, he disappeared). My stepson (Larry Isaac) used one of his boards all fest. in '92. It is among our most prized memorabilia.

In Melbourne, we have the "Guitar Slug", this guy turns up mostly in Swanston St., downtown but sometimes in my local secret. He brings 2 or 3 guitars, usually customised by himself (the brush painted zebra pattern, the juggling club holographic pattern contact plastic stuff, etc). He brings his dog, what appears to be a large part of his bed room (doona, pillows etc) and about 40 music books.
I've seen this guy possibly 400 times over 18 years, I've heard him play about 32 bars of ?music (about 16 seconds).

[ 01-25-2002: Message edited by: Peter Voice ]</p>

[LUCKY DIAMOND RICH]

recovering button pusher,

LDR

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Lucky Diamond Rich ]</p>

[peterpanic]

well, now, theres a good idea! after having a few too many he can always wheel himself home like a duke!

i suppose if you want to pursue this topic you have to go to barcelona. the ramblas is a mile long pedestrian avenue that slopes down to the sea. there are statue mimes up and down but the best is a real statue of chris colombus at the bottom. he is standing there, pointing out into the uncharted mediterranean, fixed on the horizon, thinking to himself: india is that way!

i saw a russian kid from my balcony one day and ran down to talk to him. he said he left his wife and the moscow circus to hitch-hike to spain to seek his fortune. he was mainly a ball spinner. he easily did 3- meaning ball on ball on ball, all spinning on his finger.
i said- thats amazing!
he said- thats nothing! - i can do four!

i watched how he did it. he wore a glove on his right hand. the index finger of the glove was reinforced, with a point or a nail sticking out. it gave him a michael jackson-esque look. he did not care. nor did anyone else. people tend to ignore you on the ramblas- they are used to it.
he would spin the first ball on the spike. the second ball he SPUN onto the first. this is key. most times you see people drop the second ball. the third ball was also spun in the same direction onto the second. the three are now going good. he is loading from between his legs. he spins the fourth ball-disaster.
i help him as his balls bounce away. it was like being a cold war spy. the balls were rubber, of various sizes and with painted spots.

i show him one of my balls. he spins it and declares- this is no good ball.
i say- yes but i can juggle with 5.
he says- so what? in russia we have juggler who does with 7!
i have heard of this guy. he loads from a harness on his hip like ignatov with rings. still- this kid was getting on my nerves.

next he holds four spikes in his right hand. they are about 2 feet long and look a little like umbrellas. with his left hand he spins and transfers 4 balls to his right. then 2 balls onto a mouthstick. then one more ball on the left. this is 7 now, spinning along pretty good, and he does a back roll.
he comes out of it nice, but they start to wobble and then they go everywhere. we both chased after them but there were so many- some people had to help us...i mean him.
he explained that the 7 ball back roll was meant to be performed on a stage, with a curtain. you do the move, then you walk offstage to thunderous applause before the thing falls apart.

i said thats nice- now i am going back to watching from my balcony. peter spintastic

[Peter Voice]

LDR,
You really jump to conclusions without much info. The guy in the chair had his legs crushed in an accident, the chair was an aid whilst he healed. He no longer needs or uses it.
I have to admit he seems to have learned music for the same school as the violin player, but you could find out a little more before you judge.
I certainly hope the person you are accusing of faking her blindness is not the accordian player, Bernardette.

As much as I try I really can't come up with 10 acts that are bad enough to bother listing, the best I can do is 3.

#1 Bill, the balloon guy.
#2 Some guy called "Richie Rich".
#3 The Guitar Slug.

I've written about two of these guys but not the third. Richie Rich used to do a generic unicycle/juggling show at every local fest in Melbourne. He was a brilliant "performer" (very skilled) but a totally arrogant arsehole who would intimidate and physically attack other performers on the pitch. He used to like hanging around at Mortlake , Melanie/Woodford, Coff's Harbour, Port Fairy and other Festivals around OZ. It didn't really matter how good a showman he was (and he really was good), this guy has single handedly left behind an astounding trail of crap that stretches across large parts of the western world. I haven't heard about him for a while, maybe he has given the game away (or hiding somewhere trying to work up something original)

I'm sure you know him, Lucky.

I do hope he retired.

PS. I actually love some of the bad acts. It's all about where they (and me/us) are coming from.

[ 01-26-2002: Message edited by: Peter Voice ]</p>

[LUCKY DIAMOND RICH]

recovering button pusher,


LDR

[ 01-26-2002: Message edited by: Lucky Diamond Rich ]

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Lucky Diamond Rich ]</p>

[Peter Voice]

Don't get me wrong LDR, you know for a fact that Richie was and is always welcome in my house. I always thought the kid had more qualities than faults. He was pretty good but very naive and he sure had that demon you mention. I personally imbibe in too much smoking and drinking, as you know, but I think Richie's menu included a much wider variety of pharmaceutical analogs. Richie Rich also thought he couldn't write to save his own permit in Melb.. He was nearly illiterate. I spent a lot of time in the early 90's defending his right to perform in Melb..

Touche, LDR, not only have you given up the drugs, but your response was terrific. I am asking questions of some-one I whose work I can admire and regard as an old "friend?" and I've got a reasoned and eloquent response(in writing).
I'm glad you're happy to wear the past, proud of the present and looking forward to the future. Me too.
What I really want to know is can you give up the anger and violence as well as the drugs (was there a connection?). You have achieved a lot, can't you accept that, and realise that others do too? Everytime you make an arsehole of yourself on the pitch, you are just parodising yourself. When you suggest that new-comers here mention your name, shouldn't you warn them that in some circles that may get a "mixed" response?

As I said, I hope Richie's retired.

I also hope you'll come for dinner next time you're in town.

PS If I'm such a bad judge of a show, then all readers should immediately disregard anything I said about the performance abilities or showmanship of Richie Rich or anybody else mentioned in this category.

PPS And as far as chance goes, LDR, I think you are right in trusting hard work. I mean, does a professional leave anything to chance. You're Lucky, not stupid. A chance may be created, is to be exploited but should not relied upon.

[ 01-27-2002: Message edited by: Peter Voice ]</p>

[LUCKY DIAMOND RICH]

recovering button pusher,


LDR

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Lucky Diamond Rich ]</p>

[Peter Voice]

Mr Rich,
We would all agree that the Melbourne representative of the Thompson family is a bad as the Halifax scion and your travails are well known. He also told Wayne and Nanni of "Antebodies" that no-one would be interested. And you think my judgement of an act is bad!!!??

You make a point of my difficulties with Melbourne City Council. Quote "Or have you forgot your stories about the old days when you had to go to go to court for what you did,and choose to do!"

No, I haven't and neither have you. You say you lead the way? That is some of the most astounding crap I've heard for a long time.

I took Melbourne and Adelaide City Councils all the way to the High Court and forced the issue into the State Legislation. The right to perform is instilled into State Legislation, I took it out of the hands of people like Thompson in 1984. No local government in Victoria or South Aust. can legally deny you the right to perform. They can make some rules they expect you to comply with, but they cannot deny you your right to perform. (Unless, of course. you are a well known repeat offender of those rules). Every-one (including you)performs under the protection of the laws I forced. So you are proud of getting off (with my help) charges of punching a tram driver and think you are a pioneer.
Those laws have since been included in Hansard (for those who don't understand Aus. politics, it means they have become federal law)

Greg, I can think of several more teachers that you might forgotten from ,Dom, Che(esp), Andy, and Martin. They all worked the pitches before you turned up. Unicyles, juggling,( I'm not sure what it is that you do differently). In fact you have a particularly selective memory. Waldo, I believe, also has words on the issue.

Yesterday I got a reasoned response from you. Today, I get stupid bullshit.

Richie, this is the world of the written word. I know you are not used to it, but what you write will be checked and taken seriously. This is not the pitch, where you might threaten me with physical violence or a boxing ring (where, a couple of years ago, I would have loved my 15 mins {3x2min rounds?), I think we missed our chance Greg, I'm 49 now and I'm sure you'd have an edge, but still?). This is a new arena and you are blundering into it like an overblown oaf.
You keep quoting the word Truth and I wonder.

Again, I ask you ( a simple question, really, yes or no), can you come to terms with youself and stop being an arsehole.

BTW I read the thing in Drugs and Performers and I seriously think you've forgotten experiments with speed and E;'s

Again, I remind you, that I'm actually a fan of your work but Gee, Greg, you are spouting a lot of sanctimonious crap.

[LUCKY DIAMOND RICH]

recovering button pusher,


LDR

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Lucky Diamond Rich ]</p>

[martin ewen]

Lucky
"I never regret anything I have done or said"
Thats you in a nutshell, you have excuses for everything.
Your perfect, humility's for mere mortals, you have the TRUTH.
You just like being abusive, bit of a laugh really, fuck-im if they can't take a joke.
Look at all your posts lucky, they'll be up here for years, I wonder how many years it'll take before they embarrass you.
Sadly probably never.
You can have the last word of course but I'm finished with bothering communicating with you on this site.
I'll probably see you at nicks and you can huff and puff all you want there.

[and then I go back to the boards and find that 8 mins earlier you turn over a new leaf- well I'll leave this post up anyway but good luck with the new humanity
And then go around deleteing your posts--ALL of them (even subjects you started and had only been encouraging in)surely not for anyone elses benefit, we've already read them. You're not doing anyone but yourself a favor by taking back your insults, opinions etc.If you don't regret anything you've done or said why try to delete your words?
Massive case of taking your ball and heading home?
Or all just a big stir for your own entertainment?
Jeez i'd hate to see what you were capable of if you got Really bored.

[ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: martin ewen ]</p>

[Peter Voice]

Perhaps it just got too hot in the kitchen.

[LUCKY DIAMOND RICH]

Sorry guy's,
just got other things to do!
Felt like I would stop entertaining the sick!
I feel much better for it,all the best!
I should have knowen better!


Recovering button pusher


LDR

[worldwidese]

LDR I logged on meaning to ask you what you wanted to be when you finally grew up. But I see that you just did grow up, and you turned suddenly into a guy who has realised that it's brain, not brawn that we need to get along in this life. Bravo!