PERFORMER BODY MODIFICATION

[Stephon]

While I've gotten the ads, I haven't tried the products, but the exercises you're taking about Jenny are to strengthen the Kleigle (sp?) muscle; the one that allows you to cut off the flow of pee. Both men and women have this muscle and strengthening it but clenching and releasing it is supposed to a) allow women to do more profound things with the vagina during sex, and b) give men ejaculatory control. It doesn't have any effect on penis size, though.

A college friend of mine told me years ago that he was on some regimen he got from a book that included doing "dick ups" by hanging a wet washcloth on his erect penis and then clenching to make the whole thing bounce up and down. (Great image, huh?). He reported that not only did he have better staying power, but his orgasms lasted, like, 30 seconds (as opposed to the .75 seconds, or whatever, that most men experience).

As for the "who cares" attitude, I think that it is sometimes overcome (over cum?) by the equally selfish "I wanna her to tell everyone I'm the est she ever had" attitude.

Now, let's hear a little more about you fondling your breasts...

[fracksfreakshow]

Let Frack give everyone some cool advice, Weight lifting with it. Frack has invented a method that works really cool and adds inches. Did it to get the penis used to lifting weights so can lift weights with the price albert and it works wonders. Forget those bogus pills and just do the Frack method.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

My dick used to be huge. When I was seven, my parents had to hire me a "gentleman's gentleman", a dwarf who would help me carry the thing around. I never could use a revolving door. Always had to back into buses. Only bike I could ever ride was a bycicle built for two. Once, it was invited to a papal audience. It even directed Speilberg.
But then, I got into the unicycling habit. I knew something was amiss when in the middle of making love, partners kept saying "ENOUGH foreplay, man, put it in, for god's sake". I sought out smaller partners.
One sunny afternoon, I was playing naked with a marble on my stomache like any self- respecting joymerchant, and had a moment of complete panic (small p) when the shadow cast by the marble hid my onceproud member entirely from view. One night in bed, I spotted the little fellow resting comfortably on the head of a pin.
I went to penis enlarging camp. My guy didn't respond to treatment, and when I confronted the owner for my money back, he said "I don't do miracles. You want a miracle, see Jesus, I hear he's doing Christchurch." I'm a US citizen, so by compulsion, I'm taking him to court.
I expect to enjoy presenting the evidence to the judge.
Since enlarging camp failed me, now I'm taking it to obedience school. It'll be worth it, if the thing will stop barking at me for ten minutes.

[Jenny]

Taxi, sounds like your companion there will always keep you entertained. Oh wait, maybe that's true for all men...?

You're right Stephon, god bless the Kleigles (sp? anyone?). I have even developed similar exercises for my nipples (since you asked).

But the weight lifting; that's it! I heard you start with a paper napkin, then move on to a wash cloth, then a wet wash cloth, small towel, etc. After a few months of training you can surprise your friends at dinner by levitating the table.

What say you, Frack? Objects you lift, # of repetitions, favorite time of day to practice, how long 'til you first noticed results, overall difference made in natural size (over what period of time), effects on performance, etc...???

(Gee, let me know if I'm getting to personal. I'm only asking because I can!)

[This message has been edited by Jenny (edited 01-14-2002).]

[fracksfreakshow]

Well if you want to see in person just let Frack know. Never tried the towel method, never even heard of that. Usually though for a warm up Frack will hang a two and a half pound weight from the penis for 15 minutes. Takes a long time to build up to that so do not try at home. Within a couple months started to see good results. The purpose never was though to add the length only to be able to lift weights with it.

[Jenny]

Thanks for the offer Frack.

Sorry but I still have to ask, just how *DO* you "hang" weights from your penis. Like, tied on, or draped over? Flaccid or erect, does it matter? 2.5 lbs x 15 mins = a warm up? Warm up for WHAT?!?? You demonstrate these skills in your show?
You d'aint got no website dude. Tell it. Spill!

[Todd]

Frack's penis-weight-lifting act goes over great at a bris. Rabbi Marc Cooper hated to follow Frack. How can you top that with a little snip and a sip of wine.

[This message has been edited by Todd (edited 01-14-2002).]

[fracksfreakshow]

Ok, what happens is Frack ties it on when practicing. Can't do it hard or else when it's hanging it will get soft and fall right off and it hurts really bad (learned this through trial and error). Then when feeling good and warmed up hang them from the prince albert. Can't do as much on the albert yet though. Haven't found a place around here to agree to let frack do it yet but soon. They already let frack do ear and nipple lifting so it's just a matter of time till they give in and let frack penis lift. Hopefully this answered every question?

[Stephon]

Ok, but let's get back to the stuff that really matters here--NIPPLE exercises, Jenny?

How? Why? What results? And more importantly, got pictures?

[Todd]

Navels are the wave of the future. One day mankind will view the navel as the new destination for modification. No not the ring. So old, so tired, so only looks good on a few. That's why I'm moving towards navel expansion. Much the same way that some expand their ear holes, I am working on expanding my navel.
YES FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXPANDING MY NAVEL!!
Each week I insert a larger navel expander so that one day my torso will be dominated by my navel. I hope that one day one of those statue people will do their act standing inside my navel. The eager audiences will flock to us and toss money into my navel in much the same way they do for the statue people who use inflatable swimming pools to catch cash.

[fracksfreakshow]

Wooooo, cool idea Todd! Frack knows if he was walking by and saw someone catching money in there navel would stop and reach in his pocket and pull out the shiniest nickel he had and throw it in. It would be worth it to see it. Maybe if you were doing the human statue Frack could hop in the navel and have someone snap a pic of it like a kangaroo in a pouch that would kick ass.

[Rich Potter]

Sorry I'm late getting in on this discussion.

It's spelled K-E-G-E-L and it exercises the pubo-coccygeus muscle.

Oh, and in order to lengthen my "Mister Wiggly", I've been tying a grain of rice to it with a length of dental floss. It's nearly doubled its length in the last 12 years! (but then again, maybe that's just swelling)

--Lexicographer Rich

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[Prof Willie B]

Hey Todd you could turn it into a magic act where for the finale you climb into your own navel and disappear.

[fracksfreakshow]

frack just wanted to let everyone know that as of about one hour ago frack finished his tongue. Now has a forked snake tongue. Woo Hoo go Frack. It looks cool. Todd got to hurry on that navel to catch up with frack.

[peterpanic]

forked snake tongue...
i know someone like that...
forked snake tongue...
he called himself chuckles the clown...
and bozoris the musical clown.
also uncle fun, boris, tip the clown
and many others but we mainly called him john sikosky or
cyrus p. koski III the guy with the forked snake tongue. he used to work with bounce and tried to ruin birdie mcclain but no luck. peter pan tas tic tac toe